What the flip, am I a walking pheromone factory or something?!!!

[Andara Bledin]

Don't go to HR until a solid and firm "No" has been stated to both of these people unless you fear they might do something in retaliation for that no. HR is likely going to ask if you told them to stop, and by what you've said, you haven't really.

At this point, "being nice" is treated the same as playing coy. Hell, for all you know, not saying "no" from the beginning might make them angrier than just shooting them down from the outset; they might think you're leading them on.

^-.-^

[blas]

Hugs, little one.

Creepy guys at work are almost worse than creepy guys at the bar. At least you can trip, punch, and run and hide from creepy guys at the bar.

[MoonCat]

Don't go to HR until a solid and firm "No" has been stated to both of these people unless you fear they might do something in retaliation for that no. HR is likely going to ask if you told them to stop, and by what you've said, you haven't really.

At this point, "being nice" is treated the same as playing coy. Hell, for all you know, not saying "no" from the beginning might make them angrier than just shooting them down from the outset; they might think you're leading them on.

^-.-^

I'd go to HR anyway. Telling someone "No, because [whatever reason]" is STILL saying no. I agree that being nice is not working. At this point I would not have any conversation with any of them unless it's absolutely necessary for work, but the moment anything personal comes into the conversation, that conversation ends.

And document everything. Names, dates, times and places.

[Andara Bledin]

Say, "No, but..." or "no, because..." introduces a caveat that is seen as a condition that can be worked around or changed.

It's good that people prefer to be nice and spare other people's feelings, but in cases where the other person obviously doesn't take hints or get clues, it's best to realize that "No." is a complete sentence.

^-.-^

[MoonCat]

Say, "No, but..." or "no, because..." introduces a caveat that is seen as a condition that can be worked around or changed.^-.-^

To the idiots, yes. Probably not so much to HR. But I agree that "No" is a complete sentence. These guys are jerks.

[Seshat]

My problem is I alwyas try not to step on any toes, so I try to be as nice as possible.

You have to get over this: especially in this sort of situation. As soon as they start being pushy, 'nice' flies out the window.

THEY aren't being nice: why should you?

I'm not saying be rude or aggressive, but DO be assertive. Square your shoulders (imagine you're spreading wings). Place your feet firmly, toes pointed forward. Lift your chin slightly. Look them in the eye. Lower your voice just slightly from it's normal register. And say 'No. Because I said no. End of discussion.'

Then turn and walk away, with a not-quite military stride.

Practice this with a friend, have the friend read this and critique your stance and your walk until (a) you learn to make it feel like a natural-assertive behaviour, and (b) she agrees it looks decisive but not actually aggressive.

Thus, why I've been saying I didn't want a bf. I'm nervous about telling him he isn't my type because both of my current stalkers are black. I don't want "I don't like you; you aren't my type" to be twisted into "I'm a racist bitch who hates black people".

That is why you give no reason other than 'because I said no'. If HR asks, you can say 'I'm not interested in either of them'. If HR is rude enough to ask why, you can say 'Because I don't like pushy people who won't take no for an answer'. Which they've proven themselves to be.
But the ideal is to simply say 'because I said no' and give no reason - to them OR to HR.

[tech_monkey]

My two cents, after filtering the older brother in me out of it.

An assertive no should be enough, unfortunately, some guys need clue bricks upside their heads repeatedly. If you have people you might consider work friends, that you can take a break/lunch with, do so. Sometimes backup is enough of a deterrent.
You might also check with your manager, before going to HR. I have worked with a number of sups that wanted to know what was going on before being blindsided by HR about an "Alleged" harassment issue (quotes are from them not me). Sometimes a sup will be able to work something out with another sup to ensure that your unwanted suitors are on a different shift or break schedule than you are (might mean you have to move if that is the only option, though i would not imagine it would be).
HR will not take this lightly. Even if they decide you are not being harassed, there will still be an inquiry and modification to either your or the unwanted attention's schedule. That is best case for them IIRC. Worst case is immediate termination, and possible prosecution by the company, and/or criminal charges for them. I mean absolutely no discouragement from going to HR, this is based upon my personal experience and your mileage may vary.
Do you have anything for personal protection on the off chance they're dumber than advertised. I know many places discourage or forbid weapons of any source, but there are a great many things they cannot prevent you from having, like pepper spray. Several of my friends have pepper spray on their key chains. Check state and local regulations on it, some places only allow 10% capsaicin, some allow up to 25%. I would recommend getting some. I hope you never have cause to need it.

[Seshat]

Get a little perfume atomiser. Fill it with body-rub alcohol with a little bit of vanilla essence or some other pleasant scent; or with perfume. Or get a miniature spray-bottle of your usual perfume.

DON'T use it unless you have to - this is NOT as 'safe' as a capsicain spray. But it's something that women can 'naturally' and 'normally' have in their bags.

And yes, it's used like capsicain. If you believe yourself to be genuinely under attack and need to escape, spray it in their face then RUN.

Run towards lights-and-people, and as soon as you're within range of lights-and-people, scream for help. Make a scene. Hopefully a 'big brother' sort will be present, and will come find out what's wrong.

[BroSCFischer]

Maybe something along the lines of:

"I was trying to be nice, but you clearly aren't getting the hint, leave me alone."

said in a firm, voice just slightly above normal conversational tone (enough to draw attention in the immediate vicinity, but not more than say a 10-15 ft radius).

SC

[RealUnimportant]

"Being nice" is unfortunately translated as "being interested" by the more clueless of my species - I'm even willing to admit that I've made the mistake myself, in my younger & more foolhardy days. Once I trained myself out of that thinking, it actually took my (now-)wife a good bit of effort to get me to realise she was being interested instead of just being nice

The kindest thing you can do is stop explaining why you're saying no; any qualification will get interpreted as "this is your next challenge to overcome before we can be together." Remove this and the game changes significantly.

[Kisa]

If you have people you might consider work friends, that you can take a break/lunch with, do so. Sometimes backup is enough of a deterrent.
Sometimes a sup will be able to work something out with another sup to ensure that your unwanted suitors are on a different shift or break schedule than you are.
Do you have anything for personal protection on the off chance they're dumber than advertised.

Sadly, I don't have anyone to go to break with. Break times for my office aren't scheduled. It's more "check to see how many people are on break in your group and go when appropriate". I do carry a can of pepper spray on my keychain. Haven't had to use it yet, and I hope I never do.

I'd go to HR anyway. Telling someone "No, because [whatever reason]" is STILL saying no. I agree that being nice is not working. At this point I would not have any conversation with any of them unless it's absolutely necessary for work, but the moment anything personal comes into the conversation, that conversation ends.

The first guy never talks to me, so I'm able to tolerate him ok. He just stares on occasion, but my back is to him. Yesterday, he sat behind me at lunch, but I took my break at a different time so I'm not sure if my break happened to meet his usual break time or if he followed me.
The other guy I've been able to avoid. Two days ago, he followed me to the break room thinking I was going on break. Really, I just wanted to buy munchies. I ignored his "hellooooooo" and got to take my break creeper free. Yesterday, I intentionally walked the long way around the cubicles to avoid crossing his path.

If he tries to touch me or take another picture, I'll go to HR. If he follows me to lunch or talks to me beyond "hi", I'll use my "Kisa voice" to tell him I will not, nor will I ever, date him and to buzz off before I report him to HR.

[gremcint]

I speak from experience when isay the longer this goesthe worse it wil be. Make it clear to both that you are not interested and dont leave any leeway. Im not interested and never will be, go away and dont talk to me again.

[Andara Bledin]

Echoing the say 'no' sooner rather than later sentiment. Until you say 'no' without any caveats, you've not said no at all to their way of thinking. And the longer you wait, the more they are likely to think that you're leading them on.

^-.-^

[Gravekeeper]

So many things in life would be easier if we just had venom glands in our mouths like those little dinosaurs from Jurassic Park.

We had a guy like #2 in our office many years back. He got the boot from HR after he started following his lust object home after work from 15 feet behind her under the guise of "Oh but I go this way too".

But she turned on him after a few blocks and verbally flayed him alive then went straight to HR the next day. He never bothered her again as I recall.

[blas]

I like the way you think, GK.

Either that, or retractable teeth or claws.