How NOT to get a job

[edible_hat]

On my first day at work I got a call saying "I thought you were coming in at 8 this morning"... I'd written down 9, when I mentioned that the boss said "oh that's right, sorry". I got there at 8:45.

[JustADude]

On my first day at work I got a call saying "I thought you were coming in at 8 this morning"... I'd written down 9, when I mentioned that the boss said "oh that's right, sorry". I got there at 8:45.

Con: He's showing disorganization.
Pro: He's willing to apologize and admit mistakes.

All in all, I'd say it's a good sign.

[CaroPhoenix]

That reminds me of a temp job I took years ago. It was in the busiest part of Northenrn Virginia. The only way I knew how to get to the job was on I-95. I was supposed to be there at 8:30. I got on the highway at 7:30 - I didn't get to the job until 9:30. At least they were understanding and ended up loving me and my work ethic. Whew!

[Lace Neil Singer]

How not to get a job: (these all happened to my boss at the pizza place while interviewing applicants/reading thru application forms and CVs. I only wish I was making these up.)

1. Scratch yourself in the crotch or arse areas at any point in the interview. Especially if you then smell your fingers after doing so. O_o

2. Bring along a small, screaming toddler to the interview.

3. Have a mobile phone that rings all the time.

4. The same, but you answer it and then ignore the inverviewer completely while yacking away for 10 minutes.

5. Soak your application form and CV in perfume strong enough to choke a horse.

6. Have a rape conviction and expect to be hired in a place where several teenage girls and young women work.

7. Make loads of spelling errors on your application form, even misspelling the name of the pizza place.

8. Sneeze a wad of phlegm on to the interviewer's notes.

9. Steal the interviewer's pen.

10. Say you hate pizza, but you want to work here cuz you fancy one or more of the workforce.

11. Turn up to the interview with both parents and all your siblings and wellwishers.

[Listerfiend]

i sneak glances at applications whenever someone turns one in, and I've seen some awful things... Mostly regarding the part where you have to describe yourself/strengths/houw you'd be good for the job. For one, I think that it is absolutely HORRIBLE if a person doesn't put ANYTHING there. Seriously--do you really think that a manager would take a look at the app and say, "gee--this person went to so-and-so high school, and worked at Abercrombie [no offense] for sixth months. I'm stoked to hire this kid!"? I think that if you can't even try on your application, you won't be able to try at your job.

And I swear to god--someone wrote "I'm good at coluring [sic]" Really? Did you have your five-year-old kid sister write that? I'm surprised the app wasn't filled out with a darn Crayola...

[blas]

Write out your resume in lipstick!

*cookies to whoever gets the reference*

[edible_hat]

Con: He's showing disorganization.
Pro: He's willing to apologize and admit mistakes.

All in all, I'd say it's a good sign.

Well he had just hired 4 people, replaced a bunch of fixtures around the store, and had one of the car wash bays repaired (and the one next to it is now out of order with the same problem). I've now been there long enough to see that it's not always like that.

[Jester]

11. Turn up to the interview with both parents and all your siblings and wellwishers.

The only time that would ever be appropriate is if you are an entertainer auditioning for a gig. Bringing in a bunch of fans is never a bad idea for such a thing. Otherwise, it is idiotic beyond belief.

And I swear to god--someone wrote "I'm good at coluring [sic]" Really? Did you have your five-year-old kid sister write that? I'm surprised the app wasn't filled out with a darn Crayola...

Heheheheh....am I the only one that has wanted to apply at a place they are ridiculously overqualified to work at, just to yank their chain? Now, before anyone gets pissy, I said I WANT to do this....not that I HAVE or WOULD. It would, I think, be especially funny to fill out said application in crayon, and make be totally outrageous in the answers you put down on said application....and then be even more outrageous with the interviewer if you actually did get an interview.

Yes, these are the types of thoughts that amuse me in my free time. Is it any wonder I didn't get into any good schools?

[Chanlin]

I see this one quite often in the call center I work for.

When the ad in the paper says "Applicants must be able to fluently read, write, and speak both English and Spanish" please be able to do these things. And Yes there will be someone present in the interview who will test your ability.

[JustADude]

It would, I think, be especially funny to fill out said application in crayon, and make be totally outrageous in the answers you put down on said application....and then be even more outrageous with the interviewer if you actually did get an interview.

That reminds me of an application to McDonalds I saw up on the web somewhere, years ago. Some of the answers I remember are as follows:

Sex: Yes, please.

Do you smoke?: Only when set on fire.

Desired Pay: $10,000/hr
Acceptable Pay: Any

Desired Hours: Wednesday: 2pm-3pm
Available Hours: Any

[Lady Heather]

YAY!!

Newbie was actually sick, showed up for his next schedualed day on time. Has been working his butt off. Next: the Newer Newbie starts tommorow on my shift.
Oh please let him work out too!! (PRAYING above & below )