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Old 10-13-2008, 12:37 AM
freeatlast's Avatar
freeatlast freeatlast is offline
Former Call Center Rep
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Greenfield, Indiana
Posts: 257

Too funny - my best friend lived in NC for several years, so I went to Rocky Mount on my vacation every year to visit her
"I guess they see another cash cow just waiting to be dry humped." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

Old 10-14-2008, 01:00 AM
wolfie wolfie is offline
I need a life
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 6,041

Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
  • You've seen mosquitoes with landing lights.
On the "You know you're from Ontario" list, that one needs a slight change -
You've seen Mosquitoes with landing lights, and they didn't come from the DeHaviland factory.

Also on the "You know you're from Ontario" list -
You know why the qualification in the last one is necessary

Old 10-15-2008, 12:42 AM
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BookstoreEscapee BookstoreEscapee is offline
ˇFleas Navidad!
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Central New Jersey
Posts: 5,744

  • You've been seriously injured at Action Park.
  • You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.
  • You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."
  • You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags."
  • You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
  • You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
  • You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.
  • Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you.
  • You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.
  • You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.
  • At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.
  • You know what a "jug handle" is.
  • You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.
  • You know that the state isn't all farmland.
  • You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."
  • You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.
  • Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero."
  • You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.
  • You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
  • You knew that the last question had to do with driving.
  • You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.
  • You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?).
  • You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?"
  • You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City."
  • You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
  • You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.
  • In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.
  • You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.
  • You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.
  • You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different."
  • You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.
  • The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
  • You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
  • You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
  • You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
  • Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony.
  • You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.
  • You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.
  • You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.
  • You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
  • You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
  • And finally...
  • You've never pumped your own gas. (Once. In Connecticut.)
I don't go in for ancient wisdom
I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

Old 10-16-2008, 10:42 PM
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Evil Queen Evil Queen is offline
Hotel Drone
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 4,037

The following is true for me: (some commentary included!)

Quoth DGoddessChardonnay View Post
  • "Vacation" means goin' through Rocky Mount on the way to Kings Dominion
  • You've seen all the biggest bands...ten years after their last hit Lynyard Skynyrd was the best.
  • You measure distance in minutes
  • Down South to you means South Carolina
  • You know Pepsi originated in New Bern, Cheerwine in Salisbury, and that Mountain Dew was invented in Fayetteville
  • You watched as Dale Earnhardt was the only man who ever lived who could go 200 mph, spin somebody out, flip them the bird, call them a you-know-what, and win the race all in the last lap
  • Your friends have to buy gloves and winter coats if they go to college at Appalachian or Western Carolina
  • You know a bunch of people who have hit a deer
  • You know a few that have also hit a bear
  • The local newspaper covers state, national, and international headlines in one page, but sports require six pages
  • Most men in town consider the first day of deer season a national holiday
  • Fifty degrees Fahrenheit is "a little chilly"
  • You have no problem spelling or pronouncin' "Conetoe" or "Top Sail"
  • Your school classes were canceled because of cold
  • Your school classes were canceled because of heat
  • Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waitin' to pass a tractor on the highway
  • You've rode the school bus for an hour...each way
  • You know everyone claims to hate Senator Jesse Helms but somehow he has never lost an election
  • You know tea is served sweet unless you specifically asked for unsweetened
  • You've ever had to switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day
  • You think ethanol makes your truck run a lot better
  • Stores don't have bags...they have sacks and are called Piggly Wigglys
  • You see people wearing bib overalls at funerals
  • You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year (This was always my uncle)
  • You end your sentences with a preposition, for example, "Where's my coat at?" "What's that made out of?" (The SO hates this but I can't change it)
  • All the festivals around the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or tobacco
  • Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and comes with cole slaw on top *drools*
  • You say catty-wampus, yunto, ill-ass, and ah-ite. (Gansta wannabes ruined ah-ite)
  • You put security lights on your house and your garage and leave both of them unlocked
  • Your four seasons are almost summer, summer, still summer, and highway construction
  • You can tell if another North Carolinian is from Eastern or Western North Carolina as soon as he opens his mouth
  • You can spell words such as Ocracoke, Fuquay-Varina, and Chocowinity
  • You know the best BBQ is found in Lexington
  • When asked how your trip to any foreign, exotic place was you say, "It was different" Ah-ite.
  • In the Piedmont, you see all the grown-ups go out and play in the snow
  • Schools and churches hold barbecue fundraisers with banana puddin' as the dessert
  • You have actually uttered the phrase "It's too hot to go to the pool"
  • You consider being a "Pork Queen" an honor
  • You carry jumper cables in your car
  • You faithfully drink Pepsi or Mt. Dew everyday of your life.
  • You know what "cow tipping" is.
  • You have your own secret bbq sauce. Major
  • You say, “it don’t” instead of “it doesn’t.” Guilty!
  • At least one of your female relatives has dipped snuff.
  • You sometimes eat country ham, grits and eggs for supper.
  • Your luxury car is a 4x4
  • You know what a turkey shoot is
  • “Onced” and “twiced” are words.
  • It ain't the Civil War, its the War of Northern Aggression
  • Ya know what a pig pickin' is
  • A seven course meal to you means a pack of Nabs and a Pepsi
  • You remember when Easter Monday was a Holiday
  • The tractor is under your carport instead of your car
  • You know how much a "mess" of anything is
  • You say "tater" instead of "potato"
  • You say "skeeter" instead of "mosquito"
  • You say "possum" instead of "opossum"
  • You say "coon" instead of "raccoon"
  • You brag on your new John Deere
  • You know that "barbeque" means cookin pork on an open pit and a "cook out" is grilling hamburgers and hotdogs Don't ever confuse the two.
  • Your past tense of the verb "to see" is "seen", as in "I seen ya at the auction yesterday."
  • You know that "Pop" is a sound; and "Soda" is used for baking
  • You show this to some NC friends 'cuz ya know it's true, darlin'
Ridiculous 2009 Predictions: Evil Queen will beat Martha Stewart to death with a muffin pan. All hail Evil Queen! (Some things don't need elaboration.....) -- Jester

Ridiculous 2010 Predictions: Evil Queen, after escaping prison for last years prediction, goes out and waffle irons Rachel Ray to death. -- SG15Z

Ridiculous 2011 Prediction: Evil Queen will beat Gordon Ramsay over the head with a cast-iron skillet. -- FireHeart

Old 10-22-2008, 11:53 AM
ThePhoneGoddess's Avatar
ThePhoneGoddess ThePhoneGoddess is offline
Goddess of Phoneslappery
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Wilds of Montana
Posts: 618

You know you're from New Mexico if:

You can correctly pronounce the words Tesuque, Bernalillo, Ocotillo, and Pojoaque.

You know how to pronounce street names like "Calle Medico", and snicker at people who say "Calle Medico Street". (Calle means Street!)

You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.

You order your Big Mac with green chile. And your Whopper. If they don't have green chile, you find another drive thru.

Your Christmas decorations include "red Chiles, a half-ton of sand and 200 paper bags."

You have an extra freezer just for green Chile.

You know what it means when they say it's from 'Hatch'.

Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a Dust Devil.

You can actually hear the Taos hum.

All your out-of-state friends and relatives ask if they can drink the water when they come to visit.

You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.

Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature, the other in the state penitentiary.

You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer potholes.

You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.

You've slept outside either on the trampoline, the back of a truck, or just in the yard with friends.

You love the smell of rain in the desert.

You know what bartering is, and how to do it in at least 2 different languages.

Walmart sells snow sleds in the summer for White Sands...but you can hardly find them in the winter.

Your favorite restaurant has a chile list instead of a wine list.

You don't make eye contact with other drivers because you can't tell how well armed they are just by looking.

All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October. (OMG so damn true)

You are afraid to drive through Mora or Espanola.

You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.

You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.

At any gathering, regardless of size, green chile stew, tortillas, and huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.

You associate bridges with mud, not water.
Because as we all know, on the Internet all men are men, all women are men and all children are FBI agents.

Old 11-14-2008, 02:57 AM
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Skrae Skrae is offline
Hell desk minion
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 208
Default Colorado

1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day
2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.
3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.
4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.
5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your own special bike lane.
6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.
7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.
8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire beer.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.
11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and spring blizzards
12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory.
13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.
14. You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.
17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.
18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.
19. April showers bring May blizzards.
20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.
21. You know what a 'Chinook' is.
22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is.
23. You know what a "fourteener" is.
24. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.
25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.
26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.
27. You know who Alfred Packer was and what he did.
28. You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.
29. SPF 90 is not out of the question.
30. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.
31. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
32. Thunder has set off your car alarm.
33. A full moon has never kept you awake at night.
34. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.
35. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.
36. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
37. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!
38. You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.
39. You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.
40. You know where the real "South Park" is.
41. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight
42. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.'
43. You've 'checked for ticks'
44. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood.
45. You've gone snow skiing in July and...
46. You've played golf in January and.....
47. They were in the same year!
48. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could 'run into both oceans'
49. And most important: You get a certain satisfaction knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.
50. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is ..
51. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your Colorado friends.
Pretend there's something here that sounds insightful, but is really just some pseudo-intellectual bull.

Old 12-23-2008, 02:07 AM
dalesys's Avatar
dalesys dalesys is offline
Pune Massacreeist
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Salsa Lake City, UT, USA
Posts: 7,160

Additions to SmileyEagle's entree
You may be in Utah if:
1) The biggest parade in the state isn't July 4th --- but July 24th. (Pioneer Day)
2) The second-biggest parade is Gay Pride. And there are openly gay members of the State Legislature.
3) Everybody believes they can drive on snow or ice when the roads are wet no more 250 hours per winter.
4) You live in the 6th most urbanized state (% of population in urban areas)
5) At your family reunion you can find among your relatives speakers of at least 6 languages and people who have resided in at least 12 foreign countries.
6) The highway/freeway designers at UDOT (Utah Department of Transportation) are known as UdiOTs for good reason.
7) There is a motorcycle gang of DSLOLs & DSLOM* that ride around to all the Mormon temples ... and are welcomed. *Dear Sweet Little Old Ladies & Dear Sweet Little Old Men (Temple Riders Association)
8) D&C usually refers to a book of scripture (Doctrine & Covenants) rather than an OB/GYN procedure.
9) You and your friends 'supper-shopped' because nobody's mother knew how many kids were *supposed* to show up.
10) Regular school class sizes are consistently in the mid-thirties. (elementary, midle & high)
11) You could tell your parents that the 'vegetable substance' in the baggie was mint for tea... and they believed you. ...However, *your* kids can't.

you may be a Nevada transplant...
Old 01-01-2009, 10:28 PM
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smileyeagle1021 smileyeagle1021 is offline
I need a life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Reno... kinda... sorta...
Posts: 5,265
Default you may be a Nevada transplant...

Quoth dalesys View Post
Additions to SmileyEagle's entree

6) The highway/freeway designers at UDOT (Utah Department of Transportation) are known as UdiOTs for good reason.
I'll start with the Nevada Transplant list that responds to that
(these are all coming from Northern Nevada... southern is a different can of worms)
-you know you're a Nevada transplant when you know that the freeway designers in Nevada are the ones that UDiOTs rejected (Dalesys, if you think Utah freeways are bad, try Reno, a good freeway there is about on par with the 201 )
-you walk into a convenience store and are confused by the lack of slot machines.
-you walk to the coolers in the convenience store and are surprised to see the lack of liquor.
-People get uncomfortable around you because they think you're swearing when talking about the game "craps" (seriously, I got a written warning at the call center about that, I was explaining the game to a coworker, a passing sup heard the conversation, thought I was cursing on the call floor and wrote me up... Utah)
-You're used to being the only one going the speed limit... however you're also used to being the fastest one on the road.
-You think nothing is weird about going out to eat at 2am and will get irritated that there is nothing open at that hour.

I"m sure I could think of more... this is just what my sleep deprived brain is able to come up with now.
If you wish to find meaning, listen to the music not the song

Old 01-07-2009, 05:36 PM
Sheldonrs's Avatar
Sheldonrs Sheldonrs is offline
Chairman of the Board
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 2,410

As for the NJ list, I always laugh when I see it because the only broken bone I've ever had, I got riding the inner tube slide at Action Park. Also lost most of the skin on the outside of my left leg on the Alpine Slide there. :-)
"All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

You know you're from IL when...
Old 01-09-2009, 10:30 PM
McGoddess09's Avatar
McGoddess09 McGoddess09 is offline
Official Hug and Cuddle Addict
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Babyboomtown,IL
Posts: 569
Default You know you're from IL when...

You've never met any celebrities
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular
You measure distance in minutes
Down south to you means Kentucky
You know several people who have hit a deer
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines"
You think Chicago is a completely different state from Illinois.
You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?"
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold (Yep. That's for sure)
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat
You know where all the Yoders live
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July
Stores don't have bags, they have sacks
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with." (That drives me up a fricken wall!!!)
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable
You can locate Illinois on the United States map
Detassling was your first job
You've ever been on a "Geode Hunt"
Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice
You still pronounce the "s" in Illinois. (Not really true. We get mad if people pronounce the s.)
You learn your pickup will run without a muffler
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, pop, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows
When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."
You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor
People from other states love to hear you say "Illinois" and other words with "Os" in them.
Your dream vacation is a trip to Rock Home Gardens
You carry jumper cables in your car
You drink "pop." (I switch between soda and pop. I lived in IL then moved to WI,then back to IL)
You know what the numbers I-80, 75 and 57 mean (AND I-90!!)
You know what "cow tipping" is
"Kill the fat guy first?! That's racist!" - my friend Ironside at a Belegarth practice after being "killed" first.

I belly dance with tall Goblins!
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