Job Curse #4

[Amethyst Hunter]

Or, The Havoc Your Source of Employment Can Wreak Upon Your Personal Life.

As we all know, one of the many many pitfalls of having to make nice at work to people is the sad cold truth that sooner or later, one (or more) of them will mistake this politeness for actual interest. Such was my case.

It seems a creeper has taken a shine to me. I was out shopping when said creeper approached me. He's a regular in my district so I see him out and about quite a bit. Dude kept talking to me, I put on my work-face and just let him babble, since he wasn't (up to that point) tripping any of my alarm flags and since it's a place where lots of people know lots of other people, I figured it was better off for me to just play it cool.

But then, we had to whip out the personal approach. Cue me getting hit on. No thank you. Creeper took the clue and vanished fairly fast, but great, now I have to be on edge every time I go to work, wondering how I'm going to handle it if this guy shows up again and tries to press the issue any further. (I doubt he's trouble in the 'Annie-Get-Your-Gun-and-we-mean-Now' way, so at least that's a relief.) Me no likey that one little bit.

This is (one of many reasons) why I don't bother dating. Somehow, I only ever seem to give off vibes that attract only creepers. I'm damned sick of it. (And yes, I know that the dates I might actually want to approach will never approach me first; it's a fear thing. I still don't date. My antisocialness, let me show you it. *hiss*)

(And this, for the guys, is why I DON'T advocate approaching female employees on a personal level. IT FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT, and I can only imagine what it must feel like to other women. Just my spare pennies on that topic.)

And how was YOUR day...?

[MoonCat]

I know exactly what you mean by the "creeper magnet" vibes. I seem to have 'em. I don't know what I'm doing to draw these guys. I suspect my body language says something like "I'm too shy to tell you to f**k off".

[Amethyst Hunter]

I know exactly what you mean by the "creeper magnet" vibes. I seem to have 'em. I don't know what I'm doing to draw these guys. I suspect my body language says something like "I'm too shy to tell you to f**k off".

I'm not so sure it's a matter of "too shy;" it may be more a matter of "too nice." See, these guys have probably already gotten plenty of fuck-offs from other women, so the first female that doesn't automatically do this, he figures he has a chance with. And folks like us, because we are generally peaceable types who have no desire to add extra meanness to the world (or, if you're like me and socially awkward to begin with), we don't immediately resort to f-bombs unless things get really bad.

However, what I've learned is that being nice too much can be more trouble than it's worth. At its worst, being nice will even get you killed. (Male predators know this and work it for all it's worth - see also, The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker) Not that all creepers are dangerous, but best-case scenario, they're wasting time - theirs and yours, and life's too short to waste it on creepers when you could be talking to people you actually -want- to talk to (friends, family, pets, it's all good).

Hence why as soon as the date card was played I had no trouble in giving a polite but firm shutdown. Repeat as necessary if the first 'no' doesn't take. (More bothersome cases may require a stricter approach depending on the circumstances - YMMV)