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BurgerTales Volume 2: The Blood of my Enemy

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  • BurgerTales Volume 2: The Blood of my Enemy

    Really breh?

    How to be really freaking annoying:

    1. Go out hunting
    2. Shoot an animal of some kind, moose maybe, I don't pay enough attention to know what hunters would be after right now
    3. Come in to CrazyBurger with a little bit of its blood still dripping off your boots and pant cuffs
    4. ???
    5. Profit!

    Not cool, guys. So not cool.

    In which Stopwatch King thinks he's a comedian

    Remember Stopwatch King? He thinks he's funny. Periodically, while approving my employee discount orders, he'll say something like "sir, you have to work first" and then giggle like he thinks it's actually funny. From my perspective, meanwhile, it's gone from "mildly annoying" to "say that one more time I dare you" over the time I've worked here. That is all.

    No efficiency allowed!

    So apparently the serrated knife is only for bread, and I shouldn't use it to open bags of chicken tenders. The person telling me this suggested I use one of several safety plastic openers we have laying around... except that's what I used to use, and Big Boss told me to stop because they're for other things and people might not wash them. This wouldn't be a problem, we do have several functional smooth knives around... but they've all had their sharp tips chopped off, presumably so people don't stab themselves by accident. So I either have to try to stab through heavy plastic with a chopped off safety tip, or try to saw through heavy plastic one-handed with a completely smooth edge while holding the bag up with the other hand. Considering that the plastic will bend before it cuts, the latter is often rather tedious. Of course, I already know from significant previous experience that CrazyBurger considers elbow grease to be the universal lubricant.

    And suddenly Corporate was a boomerang

    Yep, we're having another inspection soon, which means lots o' sucker jobs. They haven't given us anywhere near enough payroll to do everything they're asking for. When are they finally gonna leave us alone?
    Just stay out of the "workplace memes" thread. Please. I mean it.

  • #2
    Maybe it was some kind of bizarre courting ritual? "Oh look, I'm a blood-drippin' mayun! Eh huh!" Was he paying particular attention to/trying to rub up against any of your lobby staff?

    At least you get to hone your narrative writing skills, which were already pretty sharp (though alas your knives are not). A well-told tale sir

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth wordgirl View Post
      Maybe it was some kind of bizarre courting ritual? "Oh look, I'm a blood-drippin' mayun! Eh huh!" Was he paying particular attention to/trying to rub up against any of your lobby staff?
      There were two of them, and they mostly kept to themselves and talked about guns and hunting, so I have to conclude that that's not the case. Or maybe none of the attractive female staff were on duty right then, but I'm gonna go with the first option.

      At least you get to hone your narrative writing skills, which were already pretty sharp (though alas your knives are not). A well-told tale sir
      I thought Volume One was much better written, but I will take your compliment with thanks.
      Just stay out of the "workplace memes" thread. Please. I mean it.

      Comment


      • #4
        C'mon, guys, it's obvious: definitely playing the "big tough blood-dripping mayun!" card but at the same time they were playing coy and hard to get. A real "mayun" isn't allowed to let anybody know he's seeking attention; he has to make it look like he's totally oblivious to everybody around him.
        Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
        ~ Mr Hero

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Shotgun Chuck View Post
          Really breh?

          How to be really freaking annoying:

          1. Go out hunting
          2. Shoot an animal of some kind, moose maybe, I don't pay enough attention to know what hunters would be after right now
          3. Come in to CrazyBurger with a little bit of its blood still dripping off your boots and pant cuffs
          4. ???
          5. Profit!
          I got a deer today and thought about pulling this one.

          But I can field strip one w/o getting it all over myself.
          AkaiKitsune
          Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
            I got a deer today and thought about pulling this one.

            But I can field strip one w/o getting it all over myself.
            "Field strip?" IANAHunter so I don't know if this is 'official' terminology or not. But it's now right up there with "peeling" (cf. Top Gear UK) as my favorite term for it.
            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

            Comment


            • #7
              Most used are
              gutting or field dressing

              I like my gun cleaning term

              Of course there's Uncle Teds favorite
              "Make into family size potions" but that inc full butchering. I don't have the skills, tools and place to do that -yet.
              AkaiKitsune
              Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
                Most used are
                gutting or field dressing

                I like my gun cleaning term

                Of course there's Uncle Teds favorite
                "Make into family size potions" but that inc full butchering. I don't have the skills, tools and place to do that -yet.
                "Field dressing" I've heard of, and I'd heard "field strip" in relation to gun-cleaning as well, so that may be where I briefly got confused over the term.
                PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Shotgun Chuck View Post
                  No efficiency allowed!

                  So apparently the serrated knife is only for bread, and I shouldn't use it to open bags of chicken tenders. The person telling me this suggested I use one of several safety plastic openers we have laying around... except that's what I used to use, and Big Boss told me to stop because they're for other things and people might not wash them. This wouldn't be a problem, we do have several functional smooth knives around... but they've all had their sharp tips chopped off, presumably so people don't stab themselves by accident. So I either have to try to stab through heavy plastic with a chopped off safety tip, or try to saw through heavy plastic one-handed with a completely smooth edge while holding the bag up with the other hand. Considering that the plastic will bend before it cuts, the latter is often rather tedious. Of course, I already know from significant previous experience that CrazyBurger considers elbow grease to be the universal lubricant.
                  I think between management, safety regs and hygiene compliance you're hosed on this one. Cutting bags with crap knives is a safety issue and safety openers and bread knife are cross contamination hazards. Can you not get some safety openers in another colour and only use those for the chicken bags?
                  Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Naaman View Post
                    I think between management, safety regs and hygiene compliance you're hosed on this one. Cutting bags with crap knives is a safety issue and safety openers and bread knife are cross contamination hazards. Can you not get some safety openers in another colour and only use those for the chicken bags?
                    Yeah, but that might cost, like, three bucks!
                    Just stay out of the "workplace memes" thread. Please. I mean it.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Shotgun Chuck View Post
                      Yeah, but that might cost, like, three bucks!
                      Well, I didn't say it was a perfect solution
                      Lady, people aren't chocolates. D'you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard-coated bastards with bastard filling. Dr Cox - Scrubs

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                        "Field dressing" I've heard of, and I'd heard "field strip" in relation to gun-cleaning as well, so that may be where I briefly got confused over the term.
                        The butchering crew that get deer from the forest near me just refer to "taking his jacket off" - quaint English term of the day there.

                        Comment

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