No Sir....No Sir...I Am Not Lying!

[Lady Heather]

Best Response

These are only to be used if it is a Repeated Idiot (noun-someone you have informed of their stupidity repeatedly yet are still stupid/doing something stupid)

YELL:"Stop stalking me! I'm calling the cops!"
While Crying:"Why do you keep calling me? Please for the love of God! Just leave me alone!" then continue sobbing untill they hang up.
Hang up, dial *69 (will call whoever just called you in the U.S.) Call the Idiot repeatedly asking for a different person, place, or thing, each time.
Two Words: AIR HORN
Pretend they have dialed a phone sex number (I have seen this with a guy calling and my Gay Guy friend picked up and started discribing the "services")
Yell:"Are you the *%@# that got my daughter pregnant?! We traced the last call you #$*@!! My husband is on the way to your house with a shotgun!!"
Say Nothing just make moaning noises and heavy breathing.
Say is a small voice:"Are you my daddy?"

My personal favorite: Lady Heather's Dominion, how would you like to be Dominated?

[smileyeagle1021]

These are only to be used if it is a Repeated Idiot (noun-someone you have informed of their stupidity repeatedly yet are still stupid/doing something stupid)


My personal favorite: Lady Heather's Dominion, how would you like to be Dominated?

ok, i totally missed what your screen name was
I thought you were talking about that episode of CSI with lady heathers dominion... I almost made a post about how I thought that was the coolest episode ever until I notice you SN... i'll just runaway now

[DistantStar]

Caller: "Someone just called me from there."

Me: "Well, do you know who it might be?" or alternately, "Do you know anyone who works here"

Caller: "No, but someone just called me from there!"

Me: "Sir, this is a grocery store, I have no idea who it might have been."

Caller: "Who's there?"

Me: "About 300 people, this is a GROCERY STORE!"

This used to happen all the time when I was at Wal-Mart, since I subbed at the fitting room a lot and therefore answered the phone. *twitch* "No, ma'am, I don't know who called you, we have phones all over the store and it could have been anyone from anywhere...no, ma'am, I have no way to find out...seriously, I have no idea, maybe somebody dialed a wrong number...ma'am, right now we have about 200 people working here, I can't ask around and see who called...ma'am, this is a very busy phone and I have to answer other calls..."

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

[Lady Heather]

ok, i totally missed what your screen name was
I thought you were talking about that episode of CSI with lady heathers dominion... I almost made a post about how I thought that was the coolest episode ever until I notice you SN... i'll just runaway now

I did get my screen name from C.S.I. (is also nick name at work) All the episodes she is in are awsome! There is no need to hide.

[Shabo]

How about, "Town fire department, you light em, we fight em!"

[ParkingWitch]

Sick Phone answer

A friend I played D&D with would make up some of the worst ones.
We would be playing at my house so P never answed the phone, but would spout off something when the phone rang.
This one is truly sick,
You have been warned

Don't highlight without a strong stomach & a sick sense of humor.

Albequerque Abortion Clinic
You fuck 'em, We suck 'em.
No fetus can beat us.


I warned You

[Lady Heather]

You have been warned

Don't highlight without a strong stomach & a sick sense of humor.

Albequerque Abortion Clinic
You fuck 'em, We suck 'em.
No fetus can beat us.


I warned You

It's so bad it's funny (after the shock wears off) How do you do that highlight trick?

[ParkingWitch]

: How do you do that highlight trick?

I typed it up in regular color and then marked it like I was going to do a cut and paste and changed the color to white.
I hope this makes sense to you.

[JustADude]

It's so bad it's funny (after the shock wears off) How do you do that highlight trick?

Yeah, it's great! Doesn't beat my fav, though:

Bob's Roadkill Grill!
You kill 'em, we grill 'em.

[Diablo]

I got into a crazy amount of trouble on the aircraft carrier I was on. I had to get two fingers reattached so needless to say, I wasn't cleared to work in the machinery space. My division didn't want me to get a "good deal" and not able to stand watch, they decided "let's get him to answer the phones for the yeoman"(navy for secretary). So a pissed off mechanic, stoned on pain meds, dragged out of his rack, and sit him next to phone that connected to DC, this can't turn out bad at all. I had the job for about 15 minutes before I was escorted back to my rack by security. But hey, how many people get to tell an admiral to suck their...well figure it out.

[Andara Bledin]

I got into a crazy amount of trouble on the aircraft carrier I was on. I had to get two fingers reattached so needless to say, I wasn't cleared to work in the machinery space.

Yikes! What'd you do to separate your fingers?

^-.-^