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Language, because that's kind of how I talk. And how these people talked. My god.
My week at work actually went very well, I had no really bad SCs (the normal annoyances, like little kids without a parent in sight trying to stay on the arcades for hours, like we're a babysitting service) so I'll throw one out from my brief stay at IHOP as a second shift server. And let me tell you, at IHOP, SCs aren't the rarer occurence, people with sense are.
To start off, there were only four people I worked with on a regular basis that I could stand. Two were cooks, one was a hostess and S, the one of the funniest women I've ever met. She trained me, she took no shit from anyone, and she was pretty much one of the only other servers I actually liked talking to. The rest were my age, college age, gossipy and kind of dramatic, and I don't have time for that at work, because I don't come to work to start things with the other employees, I come to do my job. (God and don't even get me started on the other hostess, I hope she dies in a fire...).
Moving on. Funnel cakes. We weren't serving them four months ago, they weren't on the menu, nowhere were they advertised in the place, one can assume from this that we don't have funnel cakes. We still had a few people ask, but only once was I yelled at because of it.
Me: yep.
S: herself
SC: funnel cake douchenozzle customer, who I also hope dies in a fire for being a moron. He was there with three other people, who strangely said nothing during the whole thing.
Me: Hi, I'm marty, I'll be serving you this evening, can I get you anything to drink to start off?
SC: Yeah I got a question.
Me: Yes sir?
SC: Do you guys got them funnel cakes?
Me: No sir, those were limited time some time ago, not sure when we'll have 'em again.
SC: I think you're lying.
Me: -blink- Sir, if we had funnel cakes I'd be happy to put in that order, but we don't. (please tip me)
SC: Well I think you just don't want to serve me 'cause I'm black. I think you're just racist, I can't stand little racist bitches not serving me 'cause I'm black!
Me: Mmk! -still smiling-
So at this point, apparently now racist for not having any funnel cakes because apparently I used my racist mind powers to alter the present so that IHOP had none, I turned on my heel and walked straight back to the break room. S was smoking a cig, so I sat down and told her what happened. I'll interject here and say that S is black, laughing now because of the baffled look on my face. She snuffed out her cig, stood, said, "Let me do it, you watch," and walked back out to the floor. I followed at a distance, standing in the passbar so the table couldn't see me as she approached them.
S: We ain't got no funnel cakes. Am I racist too?
SC: .....
He then ordered quietly, and left a decent tip. I gave S half of it for shutting him up.
I am glad I never worked third shift though, they had to keep a couple cops posted there because third shift customers at IHOP are gaurunteed drunk and belligerent.
My week at work actually went very well, I had no really bad SCs (the normal annoyances, like little kids without a parent in sight trying to stay on the arcades for hours, like we're a babysitting service) so I'll throw one out from my brief stay at IHOP as a second shift server. And let me tell you, at IHOP, SCs aren't the rarer occurence, people with sense are.
To start off, there were only four people I worked with on a regular basis that I could stand. Two were cooks, one was a hostess and S, the one of the funniest women I've ever met. She trained me, she took no shit from anyone, and she was pretty much one of the only other servers I actually liked talking to. The rest were my age, college age, gossipy and kind of dramatic, and I don't have time for that at work, because I don't come to work to start things with the other employees, I come to do my job. (God and don't even get me started on the other hostess, I hope she dies in a fire...).
Moving on. Funnel cakes. We weren't serving them four months ago, they weren't on the menu, nowhere were they advertised in the place, one can assume from this that we don't have funnel cakes. We still had a few people ask, but only once was I yelled at because of it.
Me: yep.
S: herself
SC: funnel cake douchenozzle customer, who I also hope dies in a fire for being a moron. He was there with three other people, who strangely said nothing during the whole thing.
Me: Hi, I'm marty, I'll be serving you this evening, can I get you anything to drink to start off?
SC: Yeah I got a question.
Me: Yes sir?
SC: Do you guys got them funnel cakes?
Me: No sir, those were limited time some time ago, not sure when we'll have 'em again.
SC: I think you're lying.
Me: -blink- Sir, if we had funnel cakes I'd be happy to put in that order, but we don't. (please tip me)
SC: Well I think you just don't want to serve me 'cause I'm black. I think you're just racist, I can't stand little racist bitches not serving me 'cause I'm black!
Me: Mmk! -still smiling-
So at this point, apparently now racist for not having any funnel cakes because apparently I used my racist mind powers to alter the present so that IHOP had none, I turned on my heel and walked straight back to the break room. S was smoking a cig, so I sat down and told her what happened. I'll interject here and say that S is black, laughing now because of the baffled look on my face. She snuffed out her cig, stood, said, "Let me do it, you watch," and walked back out to the floor. I followed at a distance, standing in the passbar so the table couldn't see me as she approached them.
S: We ain't got no funnel cakes. Am I racist too?
SC: .....
He then ordered quietly, and left a decent tip. I gave S half of it for shutting him up.
I am glad I never worked third shift though, they had to keep a couple cops posted there because third shift customers at IHOP are gaurunteed drunk and belligerent.
I can just imagine the dumbfounded look on his face.
"You'd feel a Hell of a lot better if you'd just rip into the occasional customer." 
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