Prank Phone Calls and the absolute toolbags who make them

[marty]

I'm not sure these absolute morons do this to any other type of establishment besides videogame stores, because they are videogame related pranks. It's the kind of crap that people do to get their jollies off, record, and post on YouTube because they have some sort of humor deficiency and can't laugh at anything unless it's absolutely stupid. And it's been getting progressively worse this week, more phone calls more often, and the pranks keep getting dumber and dumber.

The first one was this:
"Yeah, do you guys have Battletoads?"

After the second call asking this, my reply:
"Oh yeah, man they're selling fast, better come pick up your copy before they all sell out!"

-click-


They've moved on to this:
"Do you guys have Grand Theft Auto: Johnson City Stories?" (for those who don't know, yes, I suspect they are trying to use "johnson" in the way most people don't.)

I've started saying "Let me check" and then setting the phone down until they hang up.


Really? How is this shit funny? The battletoads thing? Obvious prank. The Johnson City Stories? Yeah, when your stupid friends are laughing in the background, give me a damn break.

But none of that's as good as the time the twelve year old called, asked if I was a girl, then asked if he could "hit that".

[texasbelle5]

Laffin. I can remember calling the grocery store and asking if they had Prince Albert in the can.

Guess I just told everybody how old I am.

[Nyx]

OHHHHHHH I am going to be killed for breaking rules 1 and 2!!! But this is the work of the anonymous. *sigh* Any anons here can kill me now.... I wondered why they were posting Game Stop phone numbers, but it being 4chan I dared not ask. Check out 4chan.org if you dare. I dunno ask them if they like mudkips, it may throw them for a loop.

Maybe you can stop them? I can think of a few dumb things to tell them, maybe just say "frosted butts" or "sing never gonna give you up" or ask "lol wat?" hmm messing with anons might be fun.

Ask them how long is long cat, or ask to see their pokemans, or tell them to do a barrel roll, maybe tell them your on another call with a man named candlejack and then hang up mid sentence or tell them they will be "vanned" lol this is kinda fun.

[Andara Bledin]

But none of that's as good as the time the twelve year old called, asked if I was a girl, then asked if he could "hit that".

Heh. That's when you mock him for being too little. Ask something like, "I'm sorry, little boy. Does your mommy know you're using her telephone?" or the like, treating him like he's 5. They hate that stuff.

....

Oh, joy. 4channers. Some of the worst in forum asshattery, ever.

^-.-^

[marty]

Andara--that is what I said to him, actually, haha.

(commence language, be warned, rant ahead.)

Nyx--my brother's girlfriend regularly visits 4chan. And you know what? Those little jokes are funny when you do them to your friends. I'm guilty of calling someone, yelling, "TRY DOING A BARREL ROLL!!" and then hanging up, or asking someone if they like mudkip (because I heard they did), but a business? Really? How fucking immature is that? How friggin' pathetic does one have to be to harass people who are just trying to make a damn living, no matter where they work? Oh, and then posting it on YouTube like it's some sort of accomplishment--hilarious. Thanks for making my miserable job even more miserable and then posting it on the internet, spoiled little manbitches. People like that don't have jobs, there's no way. There's no way they can work minimum or close to minimum wage jobs and not have sympathy for people getting those stupid phone calls.

Really, if someone wants to prank me, they need to do it to my damn face.

the end.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Hey now! Battletoads was a fun game! Insanely difficult but fun.

I especially got a kick out of the fact you can attack and hurt your partner when playing a 2-player game. Many times, when playing the game with friends, we'd attack each other more than we'd attack the enemies.

[Nyx]

Andara--that is what I said to him, actually, haha.

(commence language, be warned, rant ahead.)

Nyx--my brother's girlfriend regularly visits 4chan. And you know what? Those little jokes are funny when you do them to your friends. I'm guilty of calling someone, yelling, "TRY DOING A BARREL ROLL!!" and then hanging up, or asking someone if they like mudkip (because I heard they did), but a business? Really? How fucking immature is that? How friggin' pathetic does one have to be to harass people who are just trying to make a damn living, no matter where they work? Oh, and then posting it on YouTube like it's some sort of accomplishment--hilarious. Thanks for making my miserable job even more miserable and then posting it on the internet, spoiled little manbitches. People like that don't have jobs, there's no way. There's no way they can work minimum or close to minimum wage jobs and not have sympathy for people getting those stupid phone calls.

Really, if someone wants to prank me, they need to do it to my damn face.

the end.

Sooory, I just figured if you showed them you were onto their little game that they'd give up. Just thought it might help, guess not... :\

[NightWatch]

angry rant with ultimate rage, swearing and lots of hatred, beware:

i fucking hate prank calls!!!! again, i work for a police agency, and we got a prank call where a woman said she shot a man and was going to kill the officers who showed up. THIS WAS A MOTHERF#%$#^ PRANK?! what kind of sick shit are you?!
You wasted valuable police resources when we did have actual high priority calls to go on you useless piece of shit!!
I think back to when my ex was trying to kill, and he nearly succeeded by the way. And i think that if some moron like you had made a call like that at the same time, i wouldn't be posting this fucking reply!
how! fucking! dare! you!
oh man i'm super pissed....
end rant

[marty]

Sooory, I just figured if you showed them you were onto their little game that they'd give up. Just thought it might help, guess not... :\

Didn't mean to seem like I was yelling at you thar. The thing is, the people that keep calling us know that we're onto their game but they keep calling regardless. It gets hard to handle that kind of childishness not coming from, you know, a child. They're worse than the 12 year olds doing live on Halo...

[Record Store Tough Guy]

Yeah, if it's 4chan /b/tards, a Rickroll would be eminiently appropriate.

/b/tard: Yeah, do you have Battletoads?
Me: Actually, we have a solid release date. It's--
Rick Astley: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!

Ahh, /b/. Hoisted by your own petard.

[Darkwish]

angry rant with ultimate rage, swearing and lots of hatred, beware:

i fucking hate prank calls!!!! again, i work for a police agency, and we got a prank call where a woman said she shot a man and was going to kill the officers who showed up. THIS WAS A MOTHERF#%$#^ PRANK?! what kind of sick shit are you?!
You wasted valuable police resources when we did have actual high priority calls to go on you useless piece of shit!!
I think back to when my ex was trying to kill, and he nearly succeeded by the way. And i think that if some moron like you had made a call like that at the same time, i wouldn't be posting this fucking reply!
how! fucking! dare! you!
oh man i'm super pissed....
end rant

Your rant is totally justified. There is no excuse to make "prank" calls like that. I'm not going to say what I think should happen to people that make those kinds of calls as I think it would violate one of the rules.

On a different note, when I was working in the game store, the owner bought us a phone with built-in caller ID. It really helped us weed out the prank callers (didn't get many) and the idiots that would just keep calling over and over with stupid questions.

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

But none of that's as good as the time the twelve year old called, asked if I was a girl, then asked if he could "hit that".

i know someone who was in wal mart and a little kid told her she was a MILF


as for the gamers, some of them just can't talk to women, go to a video game forum and see what happens when people admit that they're female, it's funny, but in a way that embarasses every male alive

[AKWalMartCartGuy]

angry rant with ultimate rage, swearing and lots of hatred, beware:

i fucking hate prank calls!!!! again, i work for a police agency, and we got a prank call where a woman said she shot a man and was going to kill the officers who showed up. THIS WAS A MOTHERF#%$#^ PRANK?! what kind of sick shit are you?!
You wasted valuable police resources when we did have actual high priority calls to go on you useless piece of shit!!

isn't that a felony? a business is bad enough, but the police? they're already disadvantaged enough(not anything that they can help, or anyone else could do better, they just have an impossible job) with the large areas they have to cover, and criminals knowing who they are, with not enough people, but then they're dealing with prank calls? I hope you arrested her and she "fell" a couple times

[SugarBeef]

Your rant is totally justified. There is no excuse to make "prank" calls like that. I'm not going to say what I think should happen to people that make those kinds of calls as I think it would violate one of the rules.

On a different note, when I was working in the game store, the owner bought us a phone with built-in caller ID. It really helped us weed out the prank callers (didn't get many) and the idiots that would just keep calling over and over with stupid questions.

The idiots use skype and other internet calling programs so the numbers won't help you much. Honestly, your best bet is probably to start doing a bit of lurking there to find out if someone's putting your store's number up again and begging for acceptance. That and using the most appropriate memes to fight back, like telling them "no, but we have combat amphibians," "one second. (pause, have a male coworker finish) This is Chris Hanson, why don't you have a seat over there?" or the candlejack idea Nyx had. To rickroll them, you'd need a recording of the song that you can pick up and play into the reciever on command and I doubt management would pay for something to do that.

And Nyx, no letters were mentioned (so you didn't technically break rules 1&2), so none of the old anons would care much. The new ones don't know what they're doing (as evidenced by the battletoads prank going on so long instead of them moving on to something original and/or actually funny) so the rules don't apply for them.

[Eric the Grey]

I don't get the Battletoads one.

Laffin. I can remember calling the grocery store and asking if they had Prince Albert in the can.

Guess I just told everybody how old I am.

I had someone call asking me that exactly once when I worked at a convience store. I honestly told them no and they were very confused. The store carried it in a box, but not in a can.



Eric the Grey