Tis the season: rules for brides

[Rapscallion]

Friend of mine went with platinum bands - fairly plain, if I remember right (I was handing them over :P). His logic was that they are damned pricey, but they don't wear out. Gold is such a soft metal in comparison.

Rapscallion

[wagegoth]

My belief is that people who are hung up on the wedding ceremony and the symbols are not really interested in the marriage.

I'm not a ring person. No engagement ring, and we didn't have wedding rings. My husband still doesn't, but he later got me a wedding ring, and I wear it to make him happy, but I picked it out. It's satin rose gold, with small beading on the edges. The rose seems warmer than white gold or platinum and goes better with my coloring than yellow gold. I've adjusted to it; in fact, it feels odd not to have the weight of it there when I take it off.

[GingerBiscuit]

I suspect I will wear a corset and nice skirt, and get a russian wedding ring- but in three white metals rather than gold. Silver, platinum and white gold..

and it will all be done a long time in advance.

[Gurndigarn]

Now if two people get married, are two rings required? I never understood the whole deal. There is an engagement ring, AND a wedding ring? Also, does groom get ring too or what?

Well, that depends on whether you want to follow tradition... and which tradition you want to follow. Jewlers have been doing their damndest to get people to use more and flashier rings, so the number has increased over the centuries, in the same way that flower and card sellers have been trying to add additional holidays that "require" spending money. ("Sweetest day?" Who added that one?)

I got my wife a ring set because it was the cultural tradition, despite not being needed in our church. It's somewhere. We'll probably dig it out and give it to our oldest son when he gets married.

And I'll second what someone said: if you're so hung up on the trappings of the wedding that you turn into bridezilla (or groomzilla, or even worse, mother-in-lawzilla), you probably don't know what marriage is all about. And I'll stop there... I can seriously get on a soapbox on this subject.

[wagegoth]

actually since mariage is considered a contract-contract law applies-whoever breaks the contract gets nothing-so if you broke it ff legally he could've sued in court and won, if he broke it off the ring is yours. The only way around that is if the ring is given on a birthday or some other holiday as gift(valentine's, x-mas, haunakah), or if it is a family heirloom.

IANAL-just know several peeps that have gone through this.

IANAL, either. I have worked in family law, though.

It depends. Most states are no fault divorce. The engagement ring was gifted before the marriage, and would probably be considered separate property acquired before the marriage. If it were a family heirloom of the husband's family, the husband could probably petition for its return, and probably pay something in the settlement in exchange. The wedding rings would probably be considered an equal division of property, so they would remain with the individual, unless there was the family heirloom aspect, in which case the husband would probably have to pay the wife an equivalent amount in the settlement for the return of the ring.

Judges have a pretty low tolerance for parties who go to the level of fighting over the rings. The party would have to show a really good reason for the ring(s) to be returned or sold.

If you were only engaged and you broke off the engagement, it's usually considered proper for you to return the engagement ring. If he breaks it off, you normally keep the ring to help make up for your broken heart. Again, if there's a family heirloom aspect, you could demand that he pay you something in return for the return of the ring if he breaks off the engagement. Also, traditionally, if you break off the engagement, you are supposed to return any gift that is returnable.

[Becks]

My (diamond) engagement ring was my future MIL's.

I like it, but I always swore up and down that I didn't want a diamond ring. I always wanted an opal with my birthstone on one side and his birthstone on the other.

Of course, perhaps a diamond is better, since my birthstone is ruby and his is peridot.

As for a wedding dress...I think we're going for the engaged for life route. It's been over 5 ½ years since he proposed.

[Lady Legira]

Ok, so we had a handfasting (haven't done the real thing yet for the cert but we feel married anyway) and we arranged it all in 7 days.

The Dress cost me £4 (about $8) red velvet from a charity shop (thrift shop) and I bought a belt for the same price to pull it in a bit.

The rings hubby bought and they are silver didn't cost most than £20 ($40) and hubby hired his outfit.

The cermony was conducted by a friend and the place we held it in was already available because we were part of a group of Anne McCaffrey Fans having a gather at the hotel (which was taken over entirely by us).

So we had a handfasting on the cheap. We are going to do the wedding thing at some point but we'll organise things more in advance

[Bliss]

Myself if I am ever allowed to marry, I'm looking for a tasy, flat platinum/titanium bimetallic ring, I love those things

[monolayth]

I do not believe I shall ever get married.

Although, IF I ever do, I will elope. I want it to be about our love, not putting on a show. No family fights that usually occur with these things.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I have to say I was pretty darn lucky. Found my dress at a shop that was closing so got my dress for $250 and it fit off the rack, no alterations needed!!! And that is saying something cause I am 6'1 and well endowed.

My cousin had the same kind of luck - there was one left of the dress she liked and it was on the mannequin in the window. Fit perfectly, no alterations, $500 or something like that.

If I ever get engaged I seriously would rather have a puppy than a diamond ring. I want to wear the matching wedding bands and all but I don't need the whole "wedding set"...

My mom has a set (which will never in a million years fit on my finger): The engagement ring is just a standard diamond solitaire; and the wedding ring is a little circlet of small leaf-shaped diamonds that wraps around the solitaire. After the wedding they had them soldered together to make one ring. (Though I believe the solitaire is actually cubic zirconium, now. The prongs wore out several years ago and the stone fell out and was lost. They replaced it with CZ at the time; I don't think they ever got a new diamond for it.) My dad wears a simple yellow and white gold band.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Or take your design to a jewelry school. The school I went to would have welcomed a project like that.

.....that is a DOOZY of an idea and I should'a thought of that, seeing as where I live we seem to have more jewelers than churches (surprising, seeing as I live in the Bible Belt). I'll look into some jewelry schools. Hope there's some nearby.

[Arucard]

.... i was going to buy a white and red sari for mine....
now im sad
oh and i threatened my fiance with death if he ever looked at a gold ring or a diamond. I told him Silver. PLAIN.

He's going to trick you and go Platinum now, you do realise that? :P

[Geek King]

He's going to trick you and go Platinum now, you do realise that? :P

Or maybe a nice, shiney titanium. Ooohh...shiney....

[Sliceanddice]

He's going to trick you and go Platinum now, you do realise that? :P

concidering at the time i was 18 and hewas 23 not likely, and concidering he has since left me again not likely
I seriously just want him to go to the asian market place with me to look at someof the rings there.
i would tell him which ones i like and let him make the finally descusion while i talked about ordering my sari with a lady their.
never happened but its what i wanted at the time

[siead_lietrathua]

Gold is such a soft metal in comparison.

Rapscallion

hahaha, sorry, you just reminded me as to why my dad got himself a new ring... his gold band got really worn down after 20 years of constant wear until he managed to hit it with a hammer and damn near took his finger off.


he stopped wearing it on the farm after that too.