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  • #91
    If you come in complaining of nausea & vomiting, no, you won't get a tray.

    If you come in with 10/10 abdominal pain, no, you won't get a tray. We need to know what is wrong before you can eat.

    If you didn't like my answer and change your story when the doctor comes, you'd better believe that I'm telling him about your magical disappearing 10/10 abdominal pain.

    If you're here to sober up and my favorite doctor ever tells you that there is absolutly no way you're getting pain medication right now, threatening the staff and causing a scene won't get him to change his mind. It will get you a nice big shot in the arm of calm down medicine.

    Whining about how you haven't eaten for 3 days won't get you a tray (if it's dangerous for you to eat) or my sympathy.

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    • #92
      - Do tell us straight away if something is missing from your shipment. We didn't put that notice on the delivery note about telling us within 3 days for a joke. Telling me at 55 days when I'm expecting your payment to be sent and I've been trying to confirm when you are sending it for the last 15 days is not appreciated.

      By then the process for proving a shortage is far more complex and I'm going to be met with blank faces when I ask them to do it. If it was only last week they most likely remember what happened.

      - I can't produce credit notes instantly. I have a process that needs at least three signatures above and beyond mine. Yes, this sucks, I know. However I told you it would take time and I'm not expecting you to pay the disputed portion of the invoice in the meantime. I'll even let you hold back the whole invoice if you need to (which I don't have to by law) as long as its not £17k being held for ~£50. Grumping at me when you don't have the credit note in 24 hours isn't going to help you get it faster.
      I am so SO glad I was not present for this. There would have been an unpleasant duct tape incident. - Joi

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      • #93
        "As few bags as possible" and "as light as possible" are incompatible. If I follow instruction A, they will be heavy. If I follow instruction B, there will be about 10 bags.

        Anything with one of our 3-liter soda bottles or a gallon of milk will be heavy even if the bag only has the one item, I know you can't lift things easily but I can't break the laws of physics. My reputation as a miracle worker doesn't extend that far (yet).
        "I am quite confident that I do exist."
        "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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        • #94
          If you're coming in to cash in a certificate of deposit, please bring the CD with you. Likewise, if the CD is in your safe deposit box, please bring the key with you.

          I have to go over all the disclosures before you can sign the CD. I also have to give you copies of all the disclosures (although you don't have to keep them).

          If you tell me you're coming in at a particular time, please be prompt. The reason that I asked you to give me a time was so that I would have everything ready when you come in. If you come in a day later, I may need to redo the paperwork.
          "I look at the stars. It's a clear night and the Milky Way seems so near. That's where I'll be going soon. "We are all star stuff." I suddenly remember Delenn's line from Joe's script. Not a bad prospect. I am not afraid. In the meantime, let me close my eyes and sense the beauty around me. And take that breath under the dark sky full of stars. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all."
          -Mira Furlan

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          • #95
            For those customers who might not be aware.......when you are returning DVDs, it is NOT necessary to include the receipt you got from the "self-checkout" machine. Staff doesn't need it in order to check your items in, and it just makes for extra work.......particularly when you've cut the receipt up and stuck the pieces between the DVD cover and the plastic on the case. (we do have a regular customer who does this)

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            • #96
              - When you call a technical support line, you are NOT speaking with programmers, admins or technicians. You are speaking with a customer service representative who has the ability to check that accounts are established properly and if they are not open tickets for resolution by the actual programmers, admins or technicians. REMEMBERING THIS WILL AVOID US FROM HAVING TO TELL YOU THE NEXT POINTS.

              - No it cannot be fixed immediately, yes you will have to wait for the ticket to be addressed by someone who has the systems access to investigate the route cause.

              - No you cannot speak with the programmers, system admins or technicians, they are busy programming, admin-ing and tech-ing to resolve the problems you demand be fixed quicker. Putting them on the phone would stop them from actually doing what you want. That is why they don't answer the phones.

              - If you e-mail us and I tell you in the e-mail that we can not assist with this over e-mail or have reached the extent of what we can do in e-mail and now need to call us, e-mailing me back 100 times telling me why you don't want to call in as it is a waste of your time, is just a waste of your time. I am just going to repeat myself with different sets of words each time until you finally get it through your skull that you need to call in.

              - When you ask for a manager, realize all you are getting is an associate who has been identified as a subject matter expert who takes the same basic calls as the associate you are speaking with. The answer is going to be the same.

              - When we open a ticket, don't call back 100 times to tell other associates that we haven't worked on your issue at all and that we have been no help. We have been help, we escalated your issue to the people who can actually fix it. They don't respond when you want them too, they work on issues in the order they get them and they truly don't care about your time frame that you wish was in place. I have to be nice to you and tell you were working diligently and apologize for the delay. They get to sit in front of a computer or main frame system and look at all the notes I am entering about how impatient and rude you are being and laughing at you, possibly even pushing your ticket further down the queue.

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              • #97
                If you want to know what the hotel looks like, look it up online!

                If you want to know how big the room is and if there's connecting or adjoining rooms, ask the hotel!

                Rates and availability differ day to day with hotels, especially if the area is going through peak travel season!

                I don't do price matching! If you want something lower or at the same price as XYZ hotel that you saw, look it up online.

                It's ridiculous to expect to get the same rate(s) whenever you want to reserve a hotel room. That's like expecting gas to still be same price as it was in 1995 when we're in 2012!

                If you want to make changes to your reservation, don't expect the availability and room rates to stay the same.

                If you want to reserve a room in a beach front hotel or a hotel dead center of a major city (ie. NYC or DC), it's not gonna come cheap.

                If you need to "do some research" on more than 2 cities and states or countries as well as more than 2 hotels, FFS do it online! I have sales goals and other metrics to meet and it's ridiculous to spend such a long amount of time for shit that you can do yourself or have somebody do for you online!

                If you're asking about a promo you saw online..BE SPECIFIC! I need details and without that, you're not gonna get much of an answer out of me about this promo you saw online or elsewhere!

                I can't crap out a hotel that's right on the beach just for you. This is as close as hotels in ABC, DEFG are to the beach or boardwalk that I have on my database for you!
                Last edited by tropicsgoddess; 04-27-2012, 01:40 PM.
                I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
                Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
                Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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                • #98
                  Have your house number on display; don't hide it behind shrubs, hanging baskets or trees.

                  Make sure your house number can be seen from the road, lighting may help or even a sign bigger than 4 inches tall. Having house numbers the same colour as your wall/brick won't help.

                  Make sure we can actually get to your door - while I appreciate that while you're lying on the floor having a heart attack/stroke/bleeding you could have spent some of the past 10 years or so that you've lived in the house to clear a path to your front door.
                  A PSA, if I may, as well as another.

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                  • #99
                    Quoth crazylegs View Post
                    Have your house number on display; don't hide it behind shrubs, hanging baskets or trees.

                    Make sure your house number can be seen from the road, lighting may help or even a sign bigger than 4 inches tall. Having house numbers the same colour as your wall/brick won't help.
                    Here's a page with lots of ideas.
                    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
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                    • - Please be specific about the type of ad you want to place. When I ask where you want it to run, the correct answer is not: "Advertising," or "Wherever it's cheapest."
                      - Please have some idea what you want the ad to say! I can make suggestions, but it's not actually my job to write your ad for you. It's your car, house, furniture, or whatever, so you know more about your property than I do. Get your info together before you call.
                      - Please hang onto the business card your sales rep gives you! It has their full name, direct phone number and email address. I'm not a switchboard operator, and even if I was I couldn't look them up in the company directory by their first name.
                      - DO NOT try to place an ad by saying "Somebody told me they saw this ad in the paper and I want the same thing" unless you can tell me where it ran, when it ran and some relevant information it contained. We can't help you if you don't know what size ad you want, what you want it to say, or where you want it to run. (And yes, seriously, somebody did try this).
                      - DO NOT call us at 4:29 PM on a Friday and expect to get full, detailed information on sizes, prices, zones, special promotions, contract rates, credit terms, etc., on the spot. If you waited this long to call, you can wait until Monday for the info. Oh, and seriously, do not do this on the Friday before a Monday holiday!
                      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                      • Quoth tropicsgoddess View Post
                        It's ridiculous to expect to get the same rate(s) whenever you want to reserve a hotel room. That's like expecting gas to still be same price as it was in 1995 when we're in 2012!
                        This one reminded me.

                        We offer a one-time handling fee for all furniture in a single order (that is, anything delivered by a freight truck and not Big Brown). The word "Unlimited" does not mean "as long as you live and you can put it in your will for your descendants to inherit". It's PER ORDER, dingbats!!! Now, we are reasonable, if you place an order early in the day and later that day you think of something you forgot (or maybe even the next day), if you call us and ask nicely we will probably fix it so you only have to pay the one fee. Otherwise, NO!!!!!
                        "I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"

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                        • The CoinStar is 20 feet away, and the fee is waived if you get a store gift card (there's even a big sign on it saying such). Do not come through my (express) line and then at the last moment whip out a gallon bag of change and act all smug. I can't have more than one roll's worth of loose change in my drawer at a time.

                          To the nice customers waiting behind and affected by the above asshat: I'm sorry you have to deal with this, I really am. Policy is that I can't refuse her (only a manager can, but then only if they want to). My hands are tied here and I'm counting as fast as I can. If you want to suggest to a manager that there should be signs "cashiers cannot accept excessive loose change" maybe they might listen to a customer.
                          "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                          "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                          • Please don't blurt out your phone number. Either enter it in the pin pad or let me press the button that lets me enter your phone number on my side of the register.

                            Please let the previous customer finish loading his/her groceries onto the belt before you start. I have to keep an item in front of the belt scanner to stop the belt from moving if you start loading before the previous customer is finished so I can scan his/her items.
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                            • While technically we can look up store cards using your phone number and I am able to do so, we've been told by management not to do this. One SC a few years ago complained about a privacy violation...yeah, I don't know either. If the customer gives the information there's no privacy issue; that's why we have that info, so we can look it up. I've told SM that we should start offering so customers can at least get the gas points immediately (most don't want to have to remember to come back to get the points transferred). Take it up with him. I can't do anything; if I do use my magic keypad--even if you give me the info to do it--I'll probably get lectured.

                              See those plastic sticks? Use them to separate your orders please. If both orders are big and the next customer shoves their stuff up before I'm done and I'm distracted by having to bag, I have no other way of telling what is whose.
                              Last edited by Dreamstalker; 05-01-2012, 01:26 PM.
                              "I am quite confident that I do exist."
                              "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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                              • If you have absolutely no clue as to what you want to order, please, do not go to the DT. It ruins our times and the district manager blames *us*.
                                Unseen but seeing
                                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                                3rd shift needs love, too
                                RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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