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  • Why blocking the rest rooms is a bad idea

    If I live to be a thousand, I don't think I will ever understand what compels some people to just randomly turn into complete, full-bore assholes. But I got a little revenge yesterday on one such person, yes I did.

    I had to go to the hospital a few weeks ago. The good news is they were able to save the foot (most of it, anyway). The bad news is minor in comparison - an annoyance, really. See, the infection was pretty bad, so since my stay I've had to go to the hospital daily so they could pump me full of a fairly aggressive antibiotic via the PICC line they installed in my arm. The antibiotic has a few gastronomic side effects which means I have to stay within a short distance of a rest room, because they tend to be frequent and sudden.

    One of the side effects is nausea, and it strikes with little warning, though thankfully it's not as frequent as the other side effects.

    Now, on to the story.

    Yesterday morning I opened my refrigerator and discovered that there was a certain lack of contents. So, I braved a trip to the grocery store. All was well for the first fifteen minutes or so I was in the store. I'd gotten enough stuff to last me a few days and was heading for the checkout aisles when the nausea started becoming very, VERY noticeable. So, I hobbled toward the public restrooms as quickly as my bandaged, surgical-shoed foot could manage.

    The hallway to the restrooms, however, was blocked by a somewhat large woman, who was deeply involved in an angry conversation on her cell phone, and showed no signs of moving.

    My first effort at a polite 'pardon me' was ignored completely. I tried again, and this time I got her attention - a surly, annoyed 'WHAT?!!!!"

    I told her I needed to get past her to use the restroom.

    "Well, you can just fucking WAIT! I'm on the phone!"

    I indicated to her that actually, no, the matter was quite urgent.

    She confirmed her assholishness by smirking at me and saying, "Well, it looks like YOU have a problem, then!"

    I literally couldn't wait any longer, so I decided to push past Matilda the Hun. She shifted to the side of the hallway to keep me from passing, actually forcing me back against the wall.

    Which was an unfortunate move for her, because it put her squarely in the bullseye.

    Yup. She discovered that actions sometimes have consequences. Breakfast was EVERYWHERE, but mostly on her - much to her disgust and ire.

    So, if you're one of the employees who had to deal with that mess, I profoundly apologize. I really did try to prevent the situation, and was nearly successful. You can thank the raging, gravelly-voiced hillbilly she-creature covered in technicolor goo for your unpleasant task.

  • #2
    Firstly, I'm sorry you're in that situation. It sucks, and I hope you recover swiftly and well.

    Secondly, as embarrassing as it was for you, and as awkward as it was for the employee cleaning up (been there, done that, sixth form cleaning job with a toilet in my designated area) it was a beautiful moment of karma striking in the right place at the right time.

    I'm sure that selfish cow was expecting you to wet yourself, leaving her with something to laugh at. Instead she found herself drenched in the sweet, sticky product of a well earned fate

    As a side note, do you own a small to medium-sized backpack? They're easier to handle than traditional bags if you have mobility issues as they leave both hands free.

    If you have one, it might be worth using it to carry your usual wallet/purse (sorry, I'm not sure of your gender) plus a pack of wet wipes, a couple of rolls of decent kitchen towel and a roll of nappy bags. This can help in emergency clean-up situations, and if you can get a bag out quick enough it can act as an emergency sick-bag. Those things are designed to hold full nappies; they're usually pretty sturdy.
    "It is traditional when asking for help or advice to listen to the answers you receive" - RealUnimportant

    Rev that Engine Louder, I Can't Hear How Small Your Dick Is - Jay 2K Winger

    The Darwin Awards The best site to visit to restore your faith in instant karma.

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    • #3
      And next time you're at the hospital, take a few of their vomit bags when you leave for emergencies.

      But, oh, my gods, this made my blackened heart so happy.
      Labor boards have info on local laws for free
      HR believes the first person in the door
      Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
      Document everything
      CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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      • #4
        So sorry you're having a hard time

        But I have to say, that Karma was absolutely PERFECT!! Let's hope that inconsiderate moron learned not to block the restroom entry anymore.

        When somebody says they need to go, they NEED to go so get yer ass outta the way or suffer the consequences.
        Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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        • #5
          I hope you feel better soon.

          Sockpuppet
          Last edited by Lurking Sockpuppet; 06-06-2014, 01:02 PM.

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          • #6
            I really, REALLY wish we had video of her reaction! Did she flip out???? Was she wearing expensive shoes? Did it get on her phone!?
            "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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            • #7
              Well wishes for recovery from the operation and infection.

              So... I have to think that another potential level of karmic retribution is what the security tapes will show when the SC (we can hope she's this stupid, it'd be quite entertaining for the rest of us) tries to actually file charges or sue someone.
              You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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              • #8
                I would have paid good money to see that event, and the aftermath

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                • #9
                  Just the other day I was talking to Sapphire Silk about what I would want my super power to be, and I decided on Instant Karma: someone does something good, then something good immediately happens to them; if someone does something bad....

                  Yes, intentionally and maliciously blocking the bathroom would be paid back by a warm, sticky, chunky vomit bath -- and I hope it got in her foul mouth.
                  Sorry, my cow died so I don't need your bull

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                  • #10
                    I am very vomit phobic, but I swear I think I would have happily cleaned that up if I could have been there to see you barf on her!

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                    • #11
                      I hope your recovery goes well. Having been on high-intensity antibiotics, I understand their effect on the body all too well.


                      But as bad as it sounds, I'm laughing my a$$ off over here at the karmic bitch-slap this woman got. Absolutely perfect.
                      "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

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                      • #12
                        Some people just have their heads in their asses.


                        I remember... looooooooooong time ago when I was in the 2nd grade, a girl was asking to go to the bathroom. For whatever reason, the teacher wouldn't let her.

                        Want to guess what happened about 30 seconds later?

                        Niagra Falls, Frankie Angel. And those weren't tears.


                        When you gotta go, you gotta go.

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                        • #13
                          If Doc Brown ever really gets his flux-capacitor to work, I definitely want to go back and watch this show, as gross as it may be. What a wonderful example for karma at work.

                          That aside I wish you all the best for your recovery and that in any case of emergency there will never again be such a self-centered and ignorant person in your way.
                          “If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
                          ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

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                          • #14
                            Wonderful, just wonderful. If the employee cleaning up after the karma strike saw it, they must have felt themselves well rewarded.

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                            • #15
                              Pharmacies have suitable supplies for dealing with distress at both ends of the GI system: and for the emesis, just about any easily folded, sturdy, waterproof bag is likely to be helpful. Heck, you could even try dog poo bags; they're sturdy and waterproof, and easily sealed until you get to a rubbish bin.

                              You may also find that travel sickness pills, or ginger in almost any form, is helpful for reducing nausea.
                              My tummy tends to settle if supplied with ginger tablets, ginger sodas or other ginger drinks, or even just a little bit of ginger to chew on. Note that 'ginger to chew on' has a VERY strong flavour, and is an acquired taste. In a pinch, brew a tea with boiling water and any sort of cooking ginger (I used crushed ginger from a jar).

                              Good luck, and may you heal quickly and well.
                              Seshat's self-help guide:
                              1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                              2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                              3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                              4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                              "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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