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A canonical list of SCs

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  • Quoth pinky View Post
    The Money Tosser- they insist on throwing the money at the cashiers (even if they have their hand out), and then have the nerve to ask why they look mad.
    .
    When I worked retail I would usually throw their change and receipt back at them. Yeah they love it. I once had a black woman throw me the money and when I threw the change at her she said to me, "You WILL put that in my hand!" I placed the receipt in her hand and said have a nice day. She complained to the manager but her did nothing for her. Of course she claimed racism.

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    • Related to the Money Tosser (possibly a subgroup of The Toucher) is people who hold out a handful of loose change and expect you to pick through it. Not only does this actually take longer, during flu season there are obvious reasons why I don't want to touch an SC's bare hand.
      "I am quite confident that I do exist."
      "Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up." The Doctor

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      • The big shot- buys 1 pack of cigarettes and 5$ in gas. Pays with a hundred dollar bill. Gets angry when he/she has to get $90 back in one's, tens, and fives because we aren't allowed to keep twenties in the drawer. If you ask if they have something smaller, they announce that you HAVE to take whatever they give you. Well alrighty then, don't bitch when I hand you a pile of small change.

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        • Quoth xxscooterxx View Post
          ...they announce that you HAVE to take whatever they give you.
          Depends on the state. Most do not require that, afaik. I know for certain that it is not required on a Federal level.
          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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          • I know. Its just their sucky attempt at trying to intimidate me into letting them get their way. I almost told one guy yesterday that his 5 dollar sale wasnt worth putting up with his pissy attitude. Luckily he had some quarters and called it a day.

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            • Quoth Dreamstalker View Post
              people who hold out a handful of loose change and expect you to pick through it.
              I also hate that. Especially when their palm and coins are all warm and moist.

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              • Phony name dropper - Tries to get you to bend the rules by claiming 'Jim would do it for me', only to get busted when you tell them there's nobody named Jim working here.

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                • Wanted to add a couple more

                  Last minute Lucy - Person that shows up on the last day of a sale and is appalled that the item is sold out

                  Bad weather procrastinator - Shows up in the middle of a bad storm looking for supplies (shovels, salt, ice scrapers, milk, bread, eggs, etc) only to find that we're sold out because most other people planned ahead and bought them before the storm hit and then throws a fit because they drove all this way and we don't have what they want.

                  Sale conspiracy theorist - actually had this one when I worked at Walmart. We'd be accused of hiding merchandise in the back room because it was on sale.

                  Oh and speaking of bad weather, the people who will drag their kids out in severe weather because they NEED to buy dish soap and/or junk food. Bonus points if the kid is a 3 month old baby and it's -10 degrees outside.

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                  • Thought I should add some too

                    Mr. Mrs. Forgotten Item - Gets to the till, unloads on to the till, and only then remembers they forgot one item. They insist on running to get that item despite an offer to get someone to fetch it. Bonus points if there is a line of people loading up behind them. bonus bonus points if it's at the back of the store!

                    Mr. Mrs. Barrier is not for me - NEVER uses the barrier to separate their goods from someone else's. Bonus points if you've scanned several goods on to the previous customer's bill before either customer notices.

                    Change Quester - Needs a coin to get a trolley as they don't have one, or wants you to make change for a note. Bonus points if the next few people in your line only pay with card. Bonus bonus points if your co-workers don't need to open their tills either.

                    Speed Demons - Kid on roller skates / Scooter / anything with wheels. Usually continues speeding around the store even after being approached by store staff

                    Mr. It must be free - ALWAYS makes a joke about the item being free if it won't scan. Bonus points if his wife looks awkward as he makes the joke.

                    Item Vulture - Always has a circular from a previous week, and wants one specific item, then gets annoyed that it isn't in stock any more.

                    Item Jumper - Has a current week's circular, but hasn't taken note of the dates of when stock comes in. Always wants an item that hasn't come in yet, and complains about us not having it as they came 'all this way' for that one item.

                    Mr. Mrs. Belligerent - Is not a paying customer. Has just come to the store for an argument.

                    Mouldy May - Brought some perishable goods 'only the other day' and wants to make an exchange .... never has the mouldy food or receipt with them

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                    • Quoth Rana View Post
                      Speed Demons - Kid on roller skates / Scooter / anything with wheels. Usually continues speeding around the store even after being approached by store staff
                      When I worked at the wholesale club, these were kids wearing those "heelie" shoes (sneakers with a wheel in the heel). We had a sign (pathetically small) at the front door asking customers to not ride them inside the store. When I was at the front door doing LP, I would frequently ask the kids "Please don't ride your heelies inside the store."

                      If they were coming into the store, I have no doubt they would start wheeling around the second they were out of sight. But one time, these two kids came wheeling up with their dad as they were leaving the store.

                      J2K: "Please don't ride your heelies inside the store."
                      Kids: [immediately start riding them again]
                      J2K: [sharply] "WHAT did I just tell you?!"
                      Kids: [look to father]
                      Father: [meaningful 'seriously? he did just tell you' look at kids]
                      PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                      There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

                      Comment


                      • I haven't made it through all the pages yet, so if I repeat, I apologize. in 30 years of dealing with the public I have met all of these on the list and have a few of my own
                        The Ignorasaurus- My last job in retail was a high end specialty store. We greeted each person as they walked in..usually just a cheery "Hello!" Most customers liked the acknowledgement of their presence except the Ignorosauruses who would not respond with as much as a look my way. Of course, these are the same twits that would whine they couldn't find what they were looking for. Well, you ignore me...I ignore you.

                        The Paranoid Patsy's- The idiots that did not want to give ID for their checks because they didn't want me to have THAT much info..ok moron, I have your name, address and bank account number, your driver's license number is the least of all I need to steal your identity ! And the ones who would black out their credit card numbers on the slip they were signing (it only gave the last 4 digits too!). I never said anything, just waited till they handed the signed copy back then hit reprint on my machine and attatched the unaltered copy to it

                        The Woman's Prerogative shoppers's - These are the ones who signed off on proofs for invitations or stationery, then when it came in refused to pay for it because they didn't want the orange and purple ink anymore because their friend said it wasn't pretty..we should have known they weren't going to like it when they saw it and knew to change it to chartreuse and olive ! We will gladly change it...but you signed off on it so hand over the AMEX card (Why we made them pay half down and took their credit card number for our files. They paid one way or another)..which of course leads the screaming to the new type of customer..

                        The Law Scholar - Try to thwart their sucky idiotic demands? Well they just know all the laws pertaining retail and how it applies in their favor! No cash refunds ? Well, that is illegal! I can recite Pennsylvania return regulations for retailers in my sleep and no, we have it posted largely at the register that it is store credit only, at our discretion. But..wahwahwah no one told me. We don't have to...that is what that lovely sign right at face level where you are checking out is for. But 'other store' lets me return my 8 year old fountain pen that I ran over with my car after I let my dog chew on it! Well, aren't they sweet...next! I am going to sue!! OK, magistrate is right up across from the new arena, I will see you there. BTW...the last 3 people who tried lost horribly and I had a good laugh.

                        I Am More Important Than You Will Ever Be - I don't care if you are a judge, a lawyer doing your ambulance chaser ads on tv, a politician, a news caster, or even some washed up tv actor. We don't have 2 sets of rules for peons & in your own mind big shots. You will wait your turn, you get no discounts, your declined card is no good so screaming at me about your importance will not magically make it undecline and just draws attention to you after I was being discreet, and no, I don't want your autograph..you has been washed up athlete. Because the store was high end we did get the high rollers and let me tell you, some of the nicest people I have ever waited on were people who had more money and prestige than God himself, but some of these people were just so full of themselves and I loved taking them down a peg or two.

                        Hurry Up, I Am Double Parked- Oh..you were too good to find a real parking spot or put a few quarters in the meter and I am going to make you get a ticket? Hmm, gee, think I will have to look up a few prices, and ooops, well would you look at that? My register tape needs replacing...this should only take a minute. You want me to hurry because you chose to flaunt the parking laws? I am going to go so slow and be just so gosh darn apologetic about all the things that seem to be taking soooo loooong...

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                        • The Disbeliever:-
                          Asks if you sell a particular product, unfortunately we no longer sell the requested items, and they look like they don't believe what you have said. Bonus points if they approach a co-worker/manager standing next to you, ask the same question, and get the same response.

                          Spill on isle 3:-
                          Spots a puddle/spill on the floor, promptly ignores your fellow co-workers working in the isles, and instead informs someone working at the tills of the spill.

                          Clumsy Carl:-
                          A variant of above customer. They will drop something, usually yoghurt or milk, in one of the isles. They will follow the same procedure as the Spill on isle 3

                          The TWSS King:-
                          Finds a way to fit a sexual innuendo comment in somewhere while purchasing his goods. Always seems disappointed when his comments are ignored.

                          The Perfectionist:-
                          Expects the packaging of the product to be perfect. Any rip, tear, or mauling of the cardboard packaging will be met with a demand of a discount. Continues to insist on a discount even after being told that it's not company policy to discount a product just on the basis of torn packaging. Bonus points if the manager caves in and gives them a discount.

                          Mix it Max:-
                          Mixes different varieties of nuts into the same bag. Doesn't seem to understand that the different varieties of nuts have different prices and thus can't be weighed and sold mixed. Bonus points if you have to separate out the nuts at the tills. Triple points if you find a bag of abandoned mixed nuts in an isle.

                          The Baker's dozen:-
                          An variant of the -Mix it Max-. Will mix up bakery products with the same price, and then tell you they have '5 at 35p'. Never understands that the bakery products have their own codes for inventory purposes. Bonus points if they have shoved as many rolls into the smallest available bag as humanely possible, meaning that they fall out as soon as you pick the bag up.

                          The Knight in White:-
                          Insists on helping out female staff with tasks that he thinks are too much for them. Refuses to listen to employee when they say they don't need help, and continues to not listen when told that company policy says that they can't use store equipment if task requires use of machinery. Not necessarily a SC

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                          • Quoth registerrodeo View Post
                            Hurry Up, I Am Double Parked- Oh..you were too good to find a real parking spot or put a few quarters in the meter and I am going to make you get a ticket?
                            A ticket is the least of their worries. When they double-park, they're blocking someone in. I can just imagine the shouted announcement from the front doors:

                            "To the owner of the shiny new Mercedes that blocked in the beat-up F-350 by double-parking, your car WILL move in 2 minutes. Gas or diesel - your choice."
                            Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                            Comment


                            • Quoth Rana View Post
                              The Disbeliever:-
                              Manager: 'Oh, I'm sorry, Ma'am, do you have difficulty hearing? WE...DO...NOT...CARRY...THAT...ITEM...ANY...MORE.'
                              Mix it Max
                              There is a simple and reasonable solution for this, which means it will never, EVER get implemented: Identify the MOST expensive type of nuts in the bag, and ring the whole thing up under that price. That, and force them to buy the bag/no "I don't want it anymore," as they have, at that point, rendered the entire bag unsellable, effectively making that tantamount to theft.
                              "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                              "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                              "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                              "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                              "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                              "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                              Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                              "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                              Comment


                              • The Sauce-ophiliac: A person who eats more sauce than food and takes sauce from other tables without asking and fails to notice the condiment cart

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