baked goods attract stupid people

[cloudiko]

So, whomever made the assumption that baked goods attract morons, here's another story to support your theory.
This past Saturday, we were pretty slow and I was back for more fun at the Resturant serving as a hostess. Part of my job includes selling pies, so naturally when I see a brooding individual standing in front of the pie case, I go over and help them try and pick a pie.
This time, the brooding individual happens to be a middle aged woman who obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Here's another conversation that makes me want to bash my head into the wall.

SW = sucky woman
Me = hostess on duty who has to deal with SW

Me: "Hi, how can I help you today?"
SW: "I would like to buy a pie, please."
Me: "Okay, great. What kind were you interested in?"
SW: *points at the accursed lemon meringue pie* "I would like one of those. How much is the pie?"
Me: "The lemon meringue is x amount of dollars."
SW: "How much is the pie?"
Me: "x amount of dollars."
SW: *starting to get visibly upset* "How much is the pie?"
Me: (secretly thinking, 'are you a broken record or something?') "It's still x amount of dollars, ma'am."
SW: *holds up three dollars* "All I have is three dollars. What pie can I get for three dollars?"
Me: "You can't get a whole pie for three dollars. Would you like a slice instead?"
SW: "I WANT AN ENTIRE PIE! I HAVE THREE DAUGHTERS AT HOME, AND THEY WANT THIS LEMON PIE!"
Me: "Well, I can't give you a pie for three dollars. The best you could get is a slice with that much."
SW: "I DON'T WANT A SLICE"
ME: *holds out hands in a calming manner*"I'm sorry, you're not going to be able to get a pie for three dollars."
SW: "How much is this pie?" *rudely points at the pie case* (at this point, I'm starting to feel a little bad for the pie. Who wants some cranky old lady trying to jab at you?)
ME: "It's still x amount of dollars, ma'am."
SW: *looks desperate* "Look, all I have are these three dollars. Can you do an IOU or something? Can I pay you back later?"
Me: "No, we can't write you an IOU."
SW: "Are you sure? I really want this pie."
Me: "Ma'am, you CAN NOT get an IOU for a pie, three dollars or not."
SW: "Can I speak to a manager?"
Me: *rolls eyes* "Yes, you can."

So I have to go get my manager, who calmly tells the lady we can't give her a whole pie for three dollars. After she asks him the same set of broken record questions, she storms out of the place. My boss comes to me and says, "wow, you have a knack for dealing with the idiots that come in."
I just kind of nodded. I mean, what do you say to something like that?

I also have a newfound dislike for lemon meringue pies. Though I know it isn't the pie's fault it's so tasty....it attracts the stupidest people.

[felixxkatt]

wait... you mean to tell me.. that i CAN'T buy a pie for $3? But.. But that's all i HAVE.

if i ask you enough times maybe the answer will change! wheeeee!

i also love people who come to the bake case and say, "Holy sh*t, $2 for one cookie!? that's too expensive."
well, then... DON'T BUY IT!

[MrSunshineState]

I am surprised she didn't use the ever classic give me a discount line:

"But I'm on a fiiiixed inccccommmmeee!"

[Kusanagi]

I am surprised she didn't use the ever classic give me a discount line:

"But I'm on a fiiiixed inccccommmmeee!"

:shuffles deck of cards:

[Petronella]

For $3.00 she could buy a mix and make a lemon meringue pie at home.
If she has a few of the ingredients on hand already, she might even be able to make it from scratch for $3.00.
Also, if she has children to feed and only $3.00 to spend, pie is a strange choice of purchase in the first place.

Key lime pie is even better!!!

[cloudiko]

agreed

wait... you mean to tell me.. that i CAN'T buy a pie for $3? But.. But that's all i HAVE.

if i ask you enough times maybe the answer will change! wheeeee!

i also love people who come to the bake case and say, "Holy sh*t, $2 for one cookie!? that's too expensive."
well, then... DON'T BUY IT!

I concur. Don't buy it, but don't announce it!

Don't we love people who finally have the lightbulb turn on AFTER you've told them ten times that the price is still the same, no matter how many times they complain at you? Wheeee!!! My job is so much fun!

[chainedbarista]

an iou? wtf? there's a term i haven't heard in a really long time...maybe when granny was a youngin' *during the roosevelt admin, the TEDDY roosevelt admin,* iou's were ok; in this time of thieves, scammers and liars, she'd have to be borderline senile to think that was even remotely realistic. oh, wait, it's an sc, of course she did.

[Sofar]

I do IOUs for people whom are nice. NICE. I get the same thing, someone gets all upset and yells at me then asks me to do them a favor.

[Shironu-Akaineko]

Everybody knows by now I work in a bakery, and I can vouch for the OP that Baked goods attracts morons. Broken records morons.

I think they're all in sugar withdrawal and function no brain good.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

An IOU????

That would get a customer laughed out of our store quicker than one could say "uncle."

Should've sent her to WM to see what she could get from their bakery for $3.00. Then again, I'm not sure I'd want to subject their employees to her stupidity - they have enough stupidity to deal with as it is.

[Banrion]

In my infinate wisdon, and Monday morning fog, I forgot my wallet yesterday. My Starbucks gave me my coffee on my own personal recognizance. But they see me twice a day, and know where I work.

[Boozy]

I like how she didn't believe you when you said that no pie was $3 or less. She may have stood there all day pointing at pies. I got that all the time at the wine store.

This one was my favourite:
SC - "I only have $7. What can I get?"
Me: *points them towards their ONLY choice* "You can get this one in white or red. That's the only kind of wine we sell in that price range."
SC - *spends next twenty minutes wandering around store, pointing at bottles and asking how much they are*
Me - "That one is $11, sir. AGAIN, the ONLY choice you have in that price range is this one here in red or white."
SC - *stops asking me the prices, now actually begins to look at price tags himself (thank heavens for small blessings), wanders around for another ten minutes*
Me - (gettin sick of this moron) "Sir, I can assure you, if all you have is $7, then these are your only options. I'm not lying to you."
SC - "Well, there might be something here you're missing."
Me - "There's not. Do you want the white or the red?"

You have to be assertive with these people. They need a lot of guidance to get through this crazy confusing world.

[Rapscallion]

A tale from our local off license when I was in retial...

SC: I only have a pound on me. What wine can I get for that?

Manager: You can't. Our cheapest wine is three pounds, and it's not the best.

SC: How about this one? How much does it cost?

Manager: More than a pound.

The SC in question was the owner of the hairdresser next door, a place known for its bulging tills and lack of manner amongst the owner and her family.

Rapscallion