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  • The charity store carnival of the terminally bewildered...

    ***be nice to me,i'm a ***

    Being the manager of a charity store certainly introduces you to an 'interesting' spectrum of the customer parade...

    We have had:

    *The pondlife who decided to remove the raffle prize from the window.Being a 5 foot high teddy bear and chained to a stool,you'd have thought anyone removing it would have been obvious.We did receive him back after he was spotted being touted around the local pubs and some bright spark equated his sudden arrival in the neighborhood with the mysterious disappearance of an identical bear from the shop window.

    *The guy dressed as a priest who disappeared into one of the changing rooms and was still there come 5 o'clock and had to be bodily removed from the store.You might not want to go home sunshine,but we do.And we're not leaving you tucked up in a corner to sleep the night away.

    *The African couple who decided they didn't want the notes they had been given as change as the 'serial numbers were unlucky' and wanted to look through the drawer to find some with 'lucky' numbers.If you feel they will curse you,then you can easily find someone who will help you dispose of them.And if you get your hands near my till,you will end up like...

    *The guy who tried the change-confusing routine-hands over a 10,gets change back,then halfway through asks to break a 20.No dice.You pay for your goods-then when your money is back in your warm little paw,if you want notes breaking,we shall consider it.
    So he tries to make a grab for the notes in the till.Fortunately I being speedy of sight and fleet of hand managed to shut the till-with his hand in it.
    Surprisingly,when the nice policemen showed up,he was unable to give them a convincing reason why he was stuck with his hand wedged in the cash drawer... but did introduce the staff to a bewildering variety of curse-words and gestures

    *The cheerful minority who got very upset when we shut the shop early and demanded that they would 'only take a couple of minutes'.The reason we have closed early is because it's on fire.The presence of a large number of firemen and a big shiny red engine might have alerted you to that.If that failed,the black smoke and big hot orange flames coming out the window should do the trick. We are not letting anyone in AT ALL-regardless of how long it will take to pick up your object or how much you wanted it.No-one else is going to get it,but if you go in,we may be bringing out your charred remains.And that's just extra paperwork...
    The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

  • #2
    Welcome to CS!

    I have booze, Irv might have the Brain Bleach but not sure these days, EQ has cookies, and we all have delicious treats for people.

    That guy who reached in to your till would have more than bruised fingers from me if he tried it on my till.
    Last edited by Sandiercy; 06-25-2013, 11:16 PM.
    "Employees can make or break any business, so treat them with respect. Job satisfaction has little to do with money. Discover what it has to do with and make sure they get it."

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    • #3
      Local stores an influx of the change scam and "snatch and run" thefts at *big box retail*. My manager at the time promised 50 bucks to any cashier that slammed a would-be thief's fingers in the drawer. Don't think anyone claimed it, but it did make cashiers more aware.
      A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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      • #4
        Welcome to CS! I haz brandy

        I love my local thrift shops, but yeah, sometimes there are some....interesting...people in there.
        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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        • #5
          Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
          *large snip*

          No-one else is going to get it,but if you go in,we may be bringing out your charred remains.And that's just extra paperwork...
          This sounds like something a police officer once said to me.

          Welcome to CS! I volunteered in a thrift shop for a couple of years and yeah, we did get some odd characters, although nothing quite so "out there" as the ones you've described!

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          • #6
            How funny! I'm actually introducing my cousin to this website. I read off some of your stories. She laughed the hardest at the teddy bear thief.
            Some people just need a high five...

            In the face with the back of a chair....

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            • #7
              I have just been reminded....there was also Underwear Guy....

              UG:Underwear Guy*shudder*
              KG:Your darling little tillwarmer


              UG tries on a pair of the shorts in the fitting room...and then attempts to leave in them.
              KG:Sir,you need to pay for those shorts.
              UG:No,don't worry that'll be fine.
              KG:Those are not the shorts you came in in-if you want them,you'll have to pay for them.
              UG:Just do a swap.I've left the other pair in the changing rooms.You can put them out for someone else.
              KG:That's not how it works.Besides all donations have to be washed before they can be put out (a white lie,but he's not to know that...)
              UG:They're clean-I had underwear on.See,you can tell-I've left that in there for you.
              KG(turning greenish):Sir,we do not accept donations of underwear so you'll have to take that with you.And we do not do exchanges-so if you want the shorts,you'll have to pay for them or return them...
              UG(getting stroppy):Fine,alright then.I'm not paying for them (takes off shorts and throws them on the floor).Happy now? (storms out of shop unclothed from the waist down)
              KG:My eyes!My beautiful eyes!(sighs and goes to get something to hoick up the unwanted clothes into a bag where it can be thrown in a corner of the yard to be burnt and never spoken of again)

              ....later....

              one of the main routes out of the shop is a path that leads up to a park outside the local language school,where many foreign students come during the summer.Our friend was collected there after attempting to go bottomless through the park and telling some of the female students who told him to get it covered up that they 'must be gay not to want some of it'. We shall not miss him. *goes to wash memory out with bleach*
              The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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              • #8
                When i worked in the grocery store a scammer/thief got his hand broken when he tried to rip off the f/e managers till by reaching in. He got a visit to the ER and some shiny bracelets but no cash for efforts.

                On my end, i did have someone make a grab for my till one day but he pulled back the moment my knee slammed it closed. So close and yet so far from "catching" a thief...

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                • #9
                  One of the great things about being a bartender is that, while I do have a till, it is behind the bar, and pretty much unreachable for anyone who is not also behind the bar.

                  And woe be to them that would dare cross that threshold.

                  (We've had some who have, but never for any attempted till grabs.)

                  "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                  Still A Customer."

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                  • #10
                    Bahahaha. Welcome aboard, you'll fit right in

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                    • #11
                      I love the local Salvation Army but some of the characters are scary! Some are right off the show 'Hoarders'!
                      ''Sugar cane and coffee cups, copper, steel, and cattle. An annotated history the forest for the fire. Where we propagate confusion primitive and wild. Welcome to the occupation''

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Sandiercy View Post
                        Welcome to CS!

                        I have booze, Irv might have the Brain Bleach but not sure these days, EQ has cookies, and we all have delicious treats for people.
                        RetailWorkhorse has the bacon, but I don't know where he's gotten to....
                        It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
                          *The African couple who decided they didn't want the notes they had been given as change as the 'serial numbers were unlucky' and wanted to look through the drawer to find some with 'lucky' numbers.If you feel they will curse you,then you can easily find someone who will help you dispose of them.And if you get your hands near my till,you will end up like...
                          That's a scam.

                          That was pulled back when I worked at the cinema. It was a very busy evening and they wanted to look through the notes. Two of my more naive (stupid?) co-workers let them have wads of notes to look through ....

                          It didn't end well.
                          "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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                          • #14
                            Welcome to the family, OP!

                            Gravekeeper may be on medical leave, last time I checked, but he can point you in the right direction if you need pants.

                            Which reminds me...

                            Surrender your pants.
                            PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                            There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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                            • #15
                              I shall try using that as a chat up line. I doubt it will work. And fortunately I am well versed in the ways of the scammer-they think we haven't encountered them before. Including you,lady with small child who went along the shelf taking things off,giving them to son,him passing them back to you and you putting them back on a different shelf and then asking what we were all gawping at.
                              And you,dodgy character who was sidling by the coats,fiddling about with the labels,looking around to see if anyone was observing you,and then ducking out of the corner.And with all the staff watching to see what the hell you were doing,your next gambit would not have been to bring over your CV to the desk to be considered for the assistant manager position. You were not successful. We did have you considered for the role of suspicious goon about to be removed from the store.
                              The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

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