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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • I am not allowed to ask LadyofArc for a video while on the job.
    This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

    I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

    Comment


    • Quoth LadyofArc View Post

      - Not allowed to refer to the instructor in fetish gear as "Chief Spanker of Naughty Folks."
      IN and OF?
      I want that title on my name tag.
      AkaiKitsune
      Sarcasm dear, sarcasm. I’m well aware that dealing with civilians in any capacity will skin your faith in humanity alive, then pickle anything that remains so as to watch it shrivel up into an immortal husk thus reminding you of how dead inside you now are.

      Comment


      • Quoth Rosco the Iroc View Post
        IN and OF?
        I want that title on my name tag.
        This came about as a result of the incidents mentioned here. She was basically playing security guard. The instructors also do a show once a month which mixes pole, lyra and burlesque with a more "kinky" theme (so there's a LOT of leather, use of riding crops and there's one or two acts involving the corde lisse/spanish web [basically a rope you do poses and that off of]).

        And a new one from said studio:

        I am not allowed to suggest the Baby Shark Ab Challenge for warmup.
        Nor am I allowed to suggest the Nutbush plank challenge.
        Last edited by LadyofArc; 11-05-2018, 05:06 AM.

        Comment


        • When I tell a coworker he needs to come by and pick up a server, I'm not allowed to say, "Come here and grab my package."
          This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

          I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

          Comment


          • I am not allowed to imbed glowing red eyes into the elf on a shelf doll and leave him in strange places... particularly if they are dark strange places.

            I am not allowed to use my sewing skills to create a pleather version of the elf on a shelf’s outfit. Nor am I allowed to dress it up in said outfit.

            Just because we are allowed to wear whatever we want for a decorating shift does not imply that I can show up in a red corset and black leather. Yes I look hot and it does wonders for my ass, but two employees have already tripped over displays they didn’t see while distracted and that’s not even mentioning the amount of customers.

            I am not allowed to accept phone numbers from customers unless it’s related to business. I am not allowed to accept numbers if I claim I’m thinking about opening my own ‘business’ and it might prove helpful.

            I am not allowed to pimp my fellow employees out.

            I can not accept payment in the form of booze or sexual favours even if they’re really really good looking.

            When an employee mentions how her book was ruined by the author adding a love triangle I am not allowed to mention “There’s a solution to that problem. It’s called a threesome.” Even if it’s true.
            Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

            Comment


            • AkaiKitsune, your employer is no fun at all.

              I'm not allowed to ask AkaiKitsune for pictures while on the clock, either.
              This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

              I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

              Comment


              • I'm thinking that there's a business opportunity going unused here: As an employee, these things get one canned. Now if a "customer" or "some guy on the street" or "I though he was the contractor you called in, Boss!" were to do some of the 'projects'... well, the employee isn't on the firing line, now is (s)he?

                A modest passing of the hat could do wonders for the "customer"'s wallet, I'm thinking.

                Comment


                • I must not put googly eyes on the amaryllis that have already bloomed. Even if that’s the only way they will get sold now
                  Attached Files
                  Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

                  Comment


                  • When I offer to put the server box in a coworker's back seat, I'm not allowed to ask him, "Are you putting my package in your rear?"
                    This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                    I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                    Comment


                    • Just because Uranus, Missouri is a real place does not mean that I get to tell people where I'm going on vacation.
                      Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

                      Comment


                      • I'd like to see Uranus.
                        This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                        I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                        Comment


                        • Even if it's in a state of Misery?
                          “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged.
                          One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world.
                          The other, of course, involves orcs." -- John Rogers

                          Comment


                          • Quoth Nunavut Pants View Post
                            Even if it's in a state of Misery?
                            Why not? As long as he cleans up, we'll be fine.
                            This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                            I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                            Comment


                            • When told I must wear formal wear for work it must be 21st century formal wear.
                              Definitely not height of the Italian renaissance era formal wear.
                              Nor can it be formal wear from the Elizabethan era, or any other era.
                              Just because it wasn’t specified does not mean I can convince everyone it’s a costume party and have everyone wear formal wear from a different era. The boss does not care that I’m not over Halloween or how historically accurate the chosen formal wear is.
                              Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

                              Comment


                              • The pants are not “optional”
                                Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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