The Compendium of Horrible Occurrences *Warning - Disturbing content*

[Antisocial_Worker]

I've noticed that everyone who works in any capacity in healthcare, police or fire, or the social services -- even working on the periphery as I do -- racks up stories for the "What's the worst thing you've ever seen?" question at dinner parties very quickly. The question is, do you ever actually talk about them? Do people really want to know? Does talking about it vent anything, or does it just make you relive the hurt?

As for me, I can tell you what the worst thing I've had to deal with is. There are two of equal stature, the first being a teenager with porn star looks who has the brain of a five-year-old, and who always has and always will consistently forget to wipe his own ass. This kid has the kind of looks that take you very far in life, but he'll die alone because his mother thought it more important to chugalug the booze when she was carrying him. Second in the hit parade is a 12-year-old who was kept in a closet for most of his life and had to be taught how to use a spoon when social services finally got hold of him. When he was discovered, he weighed about 35 pounds and wore a size 3 toddler's clothing.

And as for the Sturdy Nurse? A 6-year-old boy blown away by a shotgun blast to the chest by a drug dealer when the kid knocked on the wrong door on Halloween. A child raped by a dog. A child psychopath. A family in which the parents were deliberately attempting to starve their several children to death. A woman who had miscarried and was overjoyed, and wanted proof it was dead, necessitating digging around in a bowl of blood looking for the fetus.

The need to develop coping skills to deal with these things is obvious. We all have our ways, including occasionally talking about it on here. However, does it really help to talk about it? You can't keep it bottled up, but in talking about it, is it just torture porn? I'm honestly not sure. I feel a little better if I can discuss it with someone else.

[Aethian]

The fricken hell?!? I still have nights I think about the could have been if I hadn't miscarried and these worthless parents destroyed or tried to destroy their kids?! World isn't fair.

[Sapphire Silk]

Hmm. There've been some pretty bad cases that I've seen over the years.

The 600 lb man who had a failed bowel resection, and whose abdominal incision was lightly tied together with retention sutures; basically zip tied to keep his guts from falling out, but you could still see inside him. He had chyle (basically the contents of the small intestine) constantly leaking out of the incision.

The elderly nursing home patient who developed a Stage IV decubitus ulcer (bedsore) on his hip that went all the way to the bone; I could see the joint movement. It developed 30 days after he was admitted . . . he died from the infection that then resulted.

The 19 year old stabbing victim whose chest we cracked to repair the hole in his heart in the ER because the stupid surgeon insisted on putting in a chest tube that wasn't yet necessary and spilled all his blood on the floor (and all over me. I think I've told this one before).

The homeless dude found in a ditch passed out drunk whose mildewed clothing had to literally be peeled off him. We had to put oil of peppermint into a hand held nebulizer and vaporize it to mask the odor so we could bath him.

The 4 year old boy beaten to death by his own mother with a table leg because he wouldn't eat his breakfast.

The chronic alcoholic who had 3 tampons in her vagina that were causing an infection . . . along with a gallon of seminal fluid from the non-stop sex she'd recently had as a prostitute. She was a former Air Force nurse who'd been kicked out because of her alcoholism.

The 4 year old whose genitals were degloving (skin peeling off) after being dipped in scalding water by his own mother.

The bloated middle aged man whose still blew up in his face, whose generalized body edema was so bad that he was literally oozing out all his bodily fluids into a veritable puddle on the floor.

I've been a nurse for nearly 30 years. I've seen some pretty nasty shit.

The only case that really gave me nightmares was the 19 year old stabbing victim. His death haunts me because it was so unnecessary, and I was not strong enough to keep his doctor from killing him.

[Engmfj]

Oh yes, I could tell some horrific stories from nursing home care - including nasty bedsores and the apoplectic who accidentally set himself on fire while smoking .. but I won't go into details, as the discovery of that man in flames and the fact that I was constantly blamed by boss biatch still hurt too much ..

[Seshat]

I do think that talking about it - or otherwise communicating the emotion involved - helps you heal. I believe I've mentioned other means of communicating the emotion before: art, music, squooshing plastecine, kneading bread dough, beating up punching bags....

The mind is, in some ways, similar to the body. If you let these events encyst and fester, your mind becomes seriously unhealthy. Instead, you drain them - by talking, by playing music, by letting it out.

Now .. I do agree that there are people who perceive such events as .. well, as you said. Torture porn.

But if you share them with other medicos, and people in quasi-medical fields, they know and understand. If you share them with a counsellor, especially one who counsels medical people, they know and understand. Heck, even many patients and disability advocates get it.

But yes, short form is that I really think you need to let it out - somehow.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, nor a trained counsellor, yadda yadda.

[kansasgal]

There are things you see that keep going over and over in your mind.

The little boy with the sweetest smile in the world who, at the age of two, still cannot talk. Or actually do much of anything, because the parents wouldn't take care of him.

The little boy of 5 who is not potty-trained or talking, because mom was visiting the local "pain relief" physician a LITTLE too much. (Said physician has now been arrested and is on trial for his many patients who have either died or are addicted due to his overuse of his prescription pad)

The woman that comes in with two black eyes, a broken arm, two kids under the age of 5 and then leaves two days later to go back to the son of a b because she loves him. He later killed her and one of the children. The other is in a coma.

[cindybubbles]

Oh, the tales that my mother could tell if she joined CS. I mostly hear positive stories from her, though, and any negatives that come from her are usually about her boss or coworkers.

[Antisocial_Worker]

To whichever mod added the warning to the title, thanks. Sorry I didn't think to do that.

[AnaKhouri]

My mother is not a nurse but a teacher. She teaches children who live fulltime at a psychiatric hospital. Her students are between 5-8 years old. Some of the children have real mental illnesses from severe ADD to schizophrenia. But the majority are there because they have been horrifically abused. Some of the things she has told me make me want to kill the perpatrators, who are often the parents. Many of these kids are far far below average in what they know as a result.

But she gets up every day and deals with these damaged, violent children, and she loves her job. She knows she is making a difference in their lives, even if she can't always see it right then. She provides a routine, discipline, encouragement, education, (even if she sometimes has to call the security guys to haul a screaming, thrashing child out of her room, even if one throws a desk at her, even if one of them beat his family pet to death, even if one was kept in a dog cage for years by her mother who only opened it to let men come in and rape her, even if one of them speaks to people he sees floating outside the window). She is part of a team that showing these kids love and is giving them a chance, however slim, at a normal life.

Mom vents to me sometimes, I think it helps to share the burden, especially with someone who isn't so close to you. But someone asking the worst thing you've ever seen at a dinner party seems overly intrusive to me. It's OK to tell them you don't want to bring down the evening, and change the subject.

Don't think about the evil others have done- it's over. These people are safe now- safe with you. Think about the good you are doing NOW.

[Seshat]

Ana,

Please thank your mother. As I have mentioned before, my friend A is severely schizoaffective: I can imagine what teaching people with even more severe cases must be like.

But A is also highly intelligent. Leaving her uneducated would be a horrible thing to do. I expect that some of your mother's students are just as intelligent ... and hey, all of them deserve at least a chance at basic literacy, numeracy and life skills!

As for the students who are there because their developing personalities were damaged by those who should have nurtured them .. I don't know what to say.

As you said: they're safe now. I guess that's all that can really be said.

[Apallo]

I'm not in the medical field, but I have something I saw (or heard) that i would like to get off my chest, that I think would be considered a Horrible Occurrence. About 10 months ago, this http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?se...les&id=8855588 happened. If you didn't go to the link, basically one of my neighbors decided it would be a good idea to torch his house. I live 2 doors down from this person, and was woken up at 4am (The news has the times off by an hour for some reason) by an explosion. It was large enough that we thought it was an earthquake. As I was checking my son's room to make sure he was OK, I chanced to look out his window (facing the direction of the neighbor's house) and see under-lit clouds, I also hear a few pops (like firecrackers), and think to my self that it looks like fire, so I go outside to investigate. Yep, the house is on fire. I tell my wife to call the fire department, and cut across the neighbor's yard that is between the burning house and mine, and see that his house is fully engulfed. I run into the backyard to see if anyone's there, (there wasn't) and as I'm coming back out, I see the man (Terry) sitting up in his cab at the top of his driveway yelling and waving a gun at me. I run over to the neighbors directly next to the burning house, wake them up and warn them about Terry and the gun. I gather my family who is now in the front yard of my house and get them into the backyard and down low, and start watering my and my neighbor's roof. This is when I hear 2 pops. Later I found out that Terry had shot himself twice, once in the chest and once in the head. I also found out that I was the last one to see him alive. It's been gnawing at me. This is also the 5th house I have seen burn to the ground (although only the 2nd that was occupied).

[Skarredmind]

For starters, stuffing things like this isn't healthy. Sharing, talking or writing about them helps, partially it forces you to examine them in your own head, and not just let them stew.

You won't bother me by sharing. I am guessing more folks on here would agree than not, and as long as there is a warning in the title anyone who IS bothered by it can bypass the post and go on with their lives.

I also found out that I was the last one to see him alive. It's been gnawing at me.

There was nothing you COULD have done for him at that point. I know some stranger on the internet telling you that won't have much effect, but its really true that there isn't much you could have done. Making sure your family and neighbors were safe (like you did) was your best course of action.

I *HATE* stories like this, especially ones where kids are involved. In fact sitting here at work, all I can think of is my 3 year old and 5 year old at home, and tear up a bit about it. Anyone with such disregard for their (or any) child isn't a parent or even a human in my eyes.

HUGS!! If posting helps, post.

[mathnerd]

I've seen a lot of horrible situations as an inner city teacher, but most of those pale in comparison to what I've seen in my parents' home. You see, my parents are foster parents, and they take in the "tough" cases. When I was younger they kept their two bio kids somewhat insulated from the abuse suffered by the foster/adopted kids, but as we got older, there was only so much they could keep under wraps. As an adult, I became a relief care giver for them, and now that I live here, I'm involved full time in the care of the children they have in their home.

I'm fairly jaded because of the sheer number of abused kids I've known and helped care for throughout my life, but every once in a while a child comes with a story that shakes me to the core. Here are a few

-the 12 year old that was regularly bound and tied to a bed so her step father and his friends could take turns with her, with both vaginal and anal penetration.

-the 5 year old that was pimped out to her father's friends and neighbors.

-The sibling group of 4 kids from age 3 to 10 that was kept bound and locked in a small room, barely fed and clothed and subjected to beating so severe that I still want to vomit when I thing about it.

Unfortunately, there are more stories of horrific abuse. The sexual abuse victims are the ones that I have the hardest time hearing their stories. There's not too many people I can talk to, because most people can't hear any of the stories without freaking out.

[Pixilated]

I do think that talking about it - or otherwise communicating the emotion involved - helps you heal.
*snip*

But if you share them with other medicos, and people in quasi-medical fields, they know and understand. If you share them with a counsellor, especially one who counsels medical people, they know and understand. Heck, even many patients and disability advocates get it.

But yes, short form is that I really think you need to let it out - somehow.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, nor a trained counsellor, yadda yadda.

Nor am I, nor do I play one on TV. But I agree that sharing with other people who understand is pretty much a necessity in these types of professions.

As a reporter I covered the police beat and was lucky enough to have contact with a lot of officers willing to trust an unknown reporter. I know one of their coping mechanisms is what other people would see as a really warped sense of humour (please note: I did not EVER hear jokes about child abuse. I think their method of coping with that was to imagine what they would do to the perps if only they could). My aunt, who was an ER nurse for many years, said that's also a part of ER -- it's the only way people in these professions can put enough distance between themselves and what they see in their job to be able to do their job.

[Flying Grype]

I volunteer in animal rescue, can I post here too when I need it? I know eventually I'll have some horror stories, they just haven't happened on my watch yet.

We had someone leave an extremely sick cat in a cardboard box outside the shelter with a $20 bill taped to the side. Uh, thanks for donating? and we understand if your inability to afford treatment is your reason for needing to give him up. But swallow your damn pride and bring him in when the shelter is open so that he doesn't have to sit in a box outside all night waiting for food, water, and air conditioning.

He was at death's door with repeated urinary tract blockages, but once we got him stable long enough we had him neutered and ... fingers crossed, but he's gone a considerable number of weeks without a problem now. He's in a foster home and is feeling well enough to take up crossword puzzles (the cat way -- lying on top of the puzzles while people try to complete them).