Being quiet isn't the same as well-behaved.

[XCashier]

This should be all the proof you need of that. Kid isn't screaming or crying, he's just throwing things and dumping stuff off the shelves like a boss.

NSFW DUE TO LANGUAGE

Here's part 2. I hope the cops scared that little brat straight.

I have to admit that we do this kind of thing with Baby Shirts, now that she's past the put-everything-in-her-mouth stage. If she's being whiny, we might hand her something from a store shelf--something inexpensive and that she's not likely to break or otherwise damage.

It would be better if you brought her own toys from home. You don't know how clean the items on the store shelves are.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I'm reminded of one of Denis Leary's routines, where he talks about the stuff his kids would get up to, and how the silences were the worst. When it sloooowly dawned on you that it was way too quiet in the house.

And then he'd go and find his daughter giving the dog a bath... in the toilet. Making a huge mess of water etc. on the floor, plus having this soaking wet, and probably soapy, dog stuck in the toilet.

[Seshat]

I'd been put to bed for naptime. I was quiet.

I wasn't asleep.

I'd found a pencil. I had some lovely walls. It was my Nan's lovely new home, so the walls were clean and empty of any ornamentation.

I fixed it.

Up to as high as my four-year-old self could reach, on every wall in the bedroom they'd put me in, was a 4-year-old's pencil art.

[Slave to the Phone]

I don't have children, but I do have nieces and nephews and I will happily babysit them. On those rare times that my sisters can't find another sitter*, the kids are in my home. One of the things I always remember is the story about how she thought I was taking a nap because she had put me in bed and I was quiet. I was only quiet because I had gotten up, went into her sewing room and was happily making a quilt with glue and cut up fabric.

*I'm not the best influence on kids. I teach them how to stomp empty soda cans and walk around with them on their feet. I teach them that if they stuff toilet paper into bra cups and then wear them on their head, they can pretend to be pilots. (Hey, they were MY bras!) I show them that if they use chalk on the sidewalk, they can round up a whole bunch of ants. Didn't remember to tell them to not do this where people walk and might get bit by hungry ants.

[MadMike]

I once saw a baby shirt that said, "If I'm quiet, you'd better find me!" I found out that this was all too true with my own son. I remember one time I was sitting in the living room watching TV, and I thought he was playing in his room. Then I noticed it was too quiet, and went to look for him. I saw him come out of the bathroom, holding a thing of baby powder upside down and saying, "All gone!" And sure enough, the bathroom looked like a damn blizzard had hit it!

[BPFH]

Apparently, once upon a time about, oh, 40 or so years ago, my parents went camping with some friends, and took me along with 'em. At some point, they put me down for a nap in the camper.

I wasn't tired, though. So since I was all alone, I proceeded to unpack *everything*.

[notalwaysright]

I was a quiet kid, regardless of if I was being good or not. And honestly, our house was essentially a one room cabin, which cut down the time I wasn't within view. Though I did have fun "painting" with nail polish in the bathroom once. According to my parents, if I broke something I'd sit back and very seriously say "there!" as if I'd done it on purpose.

[Ternasthebard]

Even when I was growing up I was told by my parents in stores that ". . . you're not Helen Keller, keep your hands to yourself." That still sticks with me, but then again so does my few years in retail and so I occasionally find myself having to stop and think about why it is that I'm finding myself facing up the shelves in another store.

But as for the next generation of children, well ye gads I hope the ones that I'm dealing with don't turn out horrible little monsters. Now I don't have children of my own, but I do have a few nieces that I'm forced to watch over since I can quiet them with a look, or frighten them into behaving just at the mere squeak of my computer chair. Not sure why but I think I rank somewhere above boogeyman on fright scale, lord only knows why they think this since I never hurt them/touch them more than an occasional brush on the head. Might just be because I won't put up with their temper tantrums.

Still, if they go shopping then they know that if they are not touching the cart then that means that they either get put into the cart or they get to deal with me. 11 out of 10 times they'll glance at me and then start climbing into the cart.

As for them being quiet at home, I discovered real quickly that if they're out of my sight then they get 3-4 minutes before I stand up and discover them painting on the bathroom cabinets with toothpaste again. This is why the hall pass is now a needed instrument at my place so that I know where they are if they are not in the room. At least it seems to have worked ever since I introduced it, no more toothpaste Picassos to clean up.

On the bright side, that whitening toothpaste they used has made my cabinets whiter than ever before.

[raudf]

My mom learned early on that if I was quiet and there was markers nearby, then the walls were going to be COVERED in marker. Supposedly they were the washable kind, but who knew they didn't really wash off of anything other than themselves?!

Unfortunately, my mother's curse took effect and now I have two kids who are exactly like me as I was growing up.. only male versions of me. My oldest was convinced that I had eyes in the back of my head.. my youngest will soon learn this.

[pudddykat]

My step-mom knew too well that quiet was bad when it came to my brothers. The older of the two has a quiet nature but he could be devious. The younger of the two was not so quiet which got him in trouble. At some point my step-mom figured out the quiet one usually started the problem so eventually it was "I don't care who started it or who did what you are both losing it." We had a big ol dog who would tattle on them too. The dog would come in and look at my step-mom as though saying "It wasn't me!/I didn't do it!"

A quick funny story: So my step-mom was giving the boys a verbal lashing and my dad came down the hall and put his foot on her foot to indicate "Ok dear calm down now". The one brother got his quiet but mischievous nature from her btw. She bided her time and eventually at a family get together at my uncle's house my dad went out to the backyard and began to give the boys a verbal smack-down. With a quick smile my step-mom hurried outside and we promptly heard my father exclaim "Aw shuddup!" Yes dad payback can be a b***.

[Slave to the Phone]

Unfortunately, my mother's curse took effect and now I have two kids who are exactly like me as I was growing up.. only male versions of me. My oldest was convinced that I had eyes in the back of my head.. my youngest will soon learn this.

Cracking up here. I know just what that curse was! I didn't have kids (by choice and good planning), but every time someone asks me about it, I say "Mom told me that when I grew up and had kids...they would be JUST LIKE ME!" No way would I ever risk that, I was a terrible kid.