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Things I am not allowed to do at work.

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  • Same store, different incidents

    Not allowed to
    - start closing announcements 1/2 hour before closing, must wait till 15 minutes before closing
    - stack milk crates from the floor to ceiling in recieving
    - take a 45 minute break
    - change the price of butter even if it's on the price change list
    - turn out the lights on customers, even if we are closed
    - have a goatee
    - throw away a ready-made pie crust display that someone left a bannana in and now it's infested with fruit flies
    - drive my car on the sidewalk just to see if it would fit between the wall and the poles holding up the awning

    Comment


    • Not allowed to:

      tell contractor to get off his lazy ass and measure something, not just guess.

      Even if he is telling me he's standing on the 7th floor and is looking down to the 2nd floor and something looks an inch off.

      Tell someone we have more customers than you and we can't piss everyone of them off just to make you happy.

      Tell my boss to stop yelling at me and call the people and tell them what to do.

      Even if I had nothing to do with it, and was just relaying a message.

      Stand around talking.

      Comment


      • Apparently I'm not allowed to answer the phone "We don't love you go away" or "We died. We're not here."
        "The things that I remember best - those are the things I wasn't supposed to do…."

        I'm coming back as a Schooner Wharf Bar dog.

        Comment


        • Quoth ContraCorriente View Post
          -Or Vietnamese.
          Gah doi boung qua com?
          Quote Dalesys:
          ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

          Comment


          • The following songs are now forbidden from being sung or played:

            A. Stone Rose' Fool's Gold
            B. Faith No More's We Care A Lot
            C. The Flaming Lips Yeah Yeah Yeah Song
            D. The Flaming Lips Haven't Got a Clue

            When an irate customer is told off, it is best to wait till he/she is inside then do a happy dance.

            When rescheduling, a good excuse is not because of a Chelsea soccer match that you have to watch.

            You are to be referred to by your given name and it's not King Arena, Emperor Arena, The Knowledgeable Parking Slave, or The Big Cheesebah.

            No you cannot change your name because you felt like it.
            The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

            Comment


            • Quoth B&NGoddess View Post
              27. not allowed to say "blue wizard needs food badly" over the pa system
              >ahem< That's "Blue Wizard needs food... badly". It just doesn't work without the dramatic pause.

              Comment


              • I am not allowed to:
                • Use the air compressor to fire projectiles aross the floor
                • Or scare people as the walk into the tech room
                • Or make farting noises
                • Use elastic bands, cardboard boxes, tools, and whatever else I find to make a mangonel
                • Or a ballista
                • Or a crossbow
                • Or any other kind of medieval artillery
                Quote Dalesys:
                ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

                Comment


                • 1.Tell my manager to sit in the corner when he’s bothering me
                  2.Give mean customers who asked for decaf regular coffee and hope they have a heart condition and die
                  3.Threaten the eat a customers child
                  4.Threaten to eat a child
                  5.Beat a middle schooler to death with his skateboard
                  6.Stick fingers in my mouth
                  7.As customers if they want whip cream on me (instead of ‘would you like whip cream on that’ at the end of an order)
                  8.Take Danny’s manbooties
                  9.Climb over the counter
                  10.Label the chairs
                  11.Label the bathroom
                  12.Label the walls with arrows that form a circle and amuse myself with their confusion
                  13.Pretend to have an orgasm while at register
                  14.Have an orgasm at work
                  15.Tease boys by tucking my shirt in all sexy so they tip me personally
                  16.Dance to the music in the store
                  17.Scream and drop to my knees with my hands over my ears when the random all squirrel voiced song comes on (No one knows where the hell it came from)
                  18.Be stoned
                  19.Or drunk
                  20.Or horny
                  21.When asked where the bathroom is the correct answer is not “in my pants”
                  22.When a person asks me for a bathroom key it is not appropriate to hand them a random key and then laugh in their face when they walk to the door and see that there’s no key hole
                  23.Shout slander from the back room
                  24.Play with the price labeler
                  25.Touch the price labeler
                  26.Get a latter and climb up to the top shelf where they put the price labeler because I wouldn’t stop plaything with it
                  27.Hideing the toys that the kids leave in the store in drawers to be played with at a later date
                  28.My name is not ‘Lick me’
                  29.Nor ‘Touch me’
                  30.Nor ‘The queen of Freaks’
                  31.Calling customers daddy for my own amusement is not apropreat
                  32.Challenging customers to a dance off is not allowed
                  33.Same for coworkers
                  34.Yelling at inanimate objects for disregarding my authority
                  Liberate me Bitch!

                  Comment


                  • Quoth Gurndigarn View Post
                    >ahem< That's "Blue Wizard needs food... badly". It just doesn't work without the dramatic pause.
                    Yellow Elf, your life force is draining.

                    Red warrior is about to die!
                    Quote Dalesys:
                    ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

                    Comment


                    • Quoth latenightchild View Post
                      14.Have an orgasm at work
                      20.Or horny


                      Dare I ask where you mind is and what is it doing in that gutter?
                      Quote Dalesys:
                      ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

                      Comment


                      • Quoth draggar View Post
                        Yellow Elf, your life force is draining.

                        Red warrior is about to die!
                        That's because the frickin' Green Valkrie shot the frickin' food!

                        Comment


                        • Oh yes, we're not allowed to play laser tag with the scan-guns.

                          Nor am I allowed to take the boxes of phones (which have people's faces on the back) and wear it as a mask.
                          Quote Dalesys:
                          ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

                          Comment


                          • Oh, did I mention NO dating any of the vendors?

                            And I would suspect sex with any of them would be a no-no as well.
                            Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                            Comment


                            • Quoth DGoddess View Post
                              Oh, did I mention NO dating any of the vendors?

                              And I would suspect sex with any of them would be a no-no as well.
                              Why? Just because you're having sex doesn't mean you're dating.

                              Just don't make a mess on the pallet jacks.
                              Quote Dalesys:
                              ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

                              Comment


                              • 243: Sing 'Little Girls' by Say Anything while making Kids Meals (I.E. sing 'I kill, kill, kill little girls')
                                244: Randomly say a word and start laughing like a maniac
                                245: Tell the SC that she can call her friends in corperate all she wants, it doesnt matter. We are a franchise.
                                246: Tell the costumer everything on the menu, with alteration opitions, to get out of helping drive thru/
                                247: Take off your work shirt to remove a sticker a coworker put on your back. Even if everything important is still covered.
                                248: Answer the phones or head set is chinese or japanese.

                                Comment

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