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That damn Lottery joke...and other nonsense

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  • #16
    Quoth tollbaby View Post
    or the ever-popular, "Pick me a winner!"
    *sticks finger up nose*

    *sees horrified customer's face*

    Oh, you meant a lotto ticket... sorry about that.

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    • #17
      Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
      Basically, I am required by my company to say, at the end of every call: "Is there anything I can else I can help you with today?"

      Naturally every wannabe comedian on my line responds by saying: "Yeah, can you give me the winning lottery numbers?"

      Ha ha ha....you are SO funny bro.
      Ah, phone service. So many wonderful memories.

      I used to keep the winning lotto numbers from the previous week on a post it on my desk for just such an occasion. After all, they very rarely specified the winning numbers for the upcoming draw...

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      • #18
        Quoth draco664 View Post
        I used to keep the winning lotto numbers from the previous week on a post it on my desk for just such an occasion. After all, they very rarely specified the winning numbers for the upcoming draw...
        Or you could just give them a random selection of numbers. After all, they didn't say which lottery.
        "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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        • #19
          Quoth CrazedClerkthe2nd View Post
          What makes this joke particularly horrible is that, if by some twist of fate I actually I had those numbers, I would NOT be working here!
          I actually use that line.
          We sell lottery tickets where I work, and when someone drags out the tired old saw "Make sure it's a winner", I reply "If I could tell which ones were the winners I wouldn't need to work here."

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          • #20
            When I worked in the Call Center from Hell I was asked the lottery question frequently. I always answered with "if I knew the lottery numbers, do you think I would still be working in a Call Center!!!" That usually made them realize they were done with their phone call.
            "I guess they see another cash cow just waiting to be dry humped." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

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            • #21
              Quoth evilhomer View Post
              She could very well have been screwing around and set it to a different time zone. No doubt it was an easy fix, but since this is SC world, since CC2 couldn't (wouldn't) just push a magic button at his desk, she got pissy.
              My old phone got very confused whenever I went to another time zone and would require restarting the phone every time I went back to my standard. Doesn't excuse her attitude, but I've definitely had that happen.
              Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you.
              Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch to be sure.
              -Unknown Author

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              • #22
                My usual response to the lottery joke is
                "The line for those numbers is so long not even I am at the front anymore."
                If they ask why I simply say
                "Been married. Twice."
                The women giggle but the men all grunt knowingly - and a bit sad.

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                • #23
                  I got one today ...

                  Customer hands me crisp new $20 blll.

                  Customer: "I just printed it this morning! Hahaha!"

                  Me: *laughs and hands out change*

                  Me: *thinks "Yay! I've got something to post on CS!!*

                  Customer service: More efficient than a Dementor's kiss
                  ~ Mr Hero

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                  • #24
                    Quoth mjr View Post
                    I think the "I'm gonna sue!" thing is funny.
                    Well, this one definitely is: "Weird Al" Yankovic - I'll Sue Ya
                    I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                    My LiveJournal
                    A page we can all agree with!

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