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wordgirl thought my last BurgerTales was great, though I didn't particularly like it. Mainly, that was because I really had to search the deep archives of my memory to find material for it.
Ever heard the saying "be careful what you wish for"?
Yeah...
Mr. Christmas
Some days ago, I came in and half-jokingly inquired if I was going on fries or front counter or if they were going to have me put up Christmas decorations. They said no to the last of those things, and someone (might have been SubSgt) said that "I wasn't the kind of guy they'd want putting up Christmas decorations." Never got a good explanation on that one.
Well, fast forward to today and Big Boss has decided it's time to deck the halls. Guess who she comes to with a bag of decorations. Yep. Called it without even trying
. Anyway, as part of the decorating process, I get to set up and decorate the fake tree! Yay!
...you see where this is going, don't you?
Problem number one: I've never set up a fake tree like this. I have one at home, but usually I use real trees despite the expense because dat smell, and the one I have is much easier to set up with all the branches permanently hinged to the trunk. With this one, the branches are all separate and have to be hooked to the trunk. The problem is, they're all different lengths, and I'm really not sure how I'm going to figure out what goes where. Finally, I discover that this tree uses a color code to coordinate height and branch length. With that worked out, I finish setting up the tree itself quickly and uneventfully.
Then it's time to do the lights. There's three different kinds of lights in the box of decorations I was given, and Big Boss just tells me to use whichever kind I like the most. One of the strings, with intricate faceted bulbs that give a sort of sparkle effect, I immediately recognize as my favorite type from home (and one I've had trouble finding lately), so I decide to use that. Unfortunately, all the strings are tangled up together, and getting them apart takes some doing. Then I discover about halfway up the tree that there really is only one string of this type, and it's not long enough to reach the top the of tree. One of the other strings uses bulbs of a similar, though not identical, appearance, so I decide to finish the tree with it. I pull it out of the box and... wait a second, that's a control box! These blink! I think I'll redo the whole tree with them!
Oops. Once again, there's only one string, good for about half the tree, and you can't daisy-chain more lights off of these. The last remaining string is of yet another type I recognize from home, but it's a very old type and doesn't look like either of the others, so trying to mix it with another of our strings would just look trashy. Eventually, I decide to just use the lights more sparingly (a loop for every two layers of branches rather than every one, snaking between layers for better visual coverage). I do pull it off, but at this point I've put lights on the tree and taken them off again about three or four times, wasting an enormous amount of time and effort. Nevertheless, that's done, and I can now start on the ornaments.
Fortunately/unfortunately, not long after I start on that, New Manager 1 realizes I haven't had a break yet, and decides it's time for me to take one. Looking at the half-finished tree on my break, I realize that the lights are way too hard to see due to being coiled too tightly. When I clock back in, I say something frustrated about how I'm "finally gonna finish this stupid tree", which prompts New Manager 1 to respond "And when you're done with that, we need to talk."
Great. So not only has this task been an endless struggle, it's attracted a writeup as well. Hey guys, do the words "first attempt" mean anything to you?
Despite that hit to my motivation, I return to the tree and immediately pull the lights forward for better visibility, in the process making them even harder to see from behind, then resume working on the ornaments. By now, I'm the only cashier, so constant customer arrivals slow the process to a crawl. Eventually, however, it gets done, though with the ornaments heavily frontloaded for time/effort reasons (unlike the trees I decorate at home, which are intended for 360 degree viewing, this one is definitely not intended to be seen from behind, though fortunately it probably won't be). Moving on to the tinsel, I once again discover that I don't have enough to do one loop per layer, and in the process of fixing that I knock off and break one of our actually good ornaments, creating yet another delay as I get broom and dustpan and attempt to capture all the stubborn, elusive little pieces. With that and the tinsel done, and the topper apparently done trying to fall over, I reluctantly inform management that the tree is complete.
Fortunately, since I told Big Boss and not New Manager 1, I didn't get hauled into the office and forced to sign a confession that I dun goofed. Or maybe NM1 was just too busy, or thought better of it, or never actually intended to write me up and I just misheard her. Instead, Big Boss tells me to decorate the rest of the lobby, so, armed with some foam stockings and trees and a roll of double-stick tape, I set to work making the lobby look more festive. Constant customer interruptions are still slowing things down (where are all these people coming from on a Thursday afternoon?), but I'm slowly making progress. Soon enough, New Manager 1 takes on a more cheerful aspect and joins me in my task, hurrying things along considerably. To lighten my mood even further, the end of my shift is less than an hour away and closing in quickly. But just when things seemed to be looking up...
INCOMING! GET DOWN!
Apparently, corporate has released another run of coupons, because we're getting bombed with them again. In any case, with the end of my shift less than five minutes distant and one more decorating task on my mind, it's safe to say I was feeling pretty good. That's when I saw them. Another family, on the way in. And they had coupons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msX8iULEQgA
Once again, our unfortunate rule is "one coupon per transaction" rather than "one coupon per customer", so I've no way to defend myself. I'm trapped at the counter, forced to handle their three transactions. Oh wait, four, since the kid has two coupons. And then, when it's finally supposedly over, when I finally breathe a sigh of relief that the Coupon Bombers are finally done, I hear these horrible, rage-inducing words from their leader:
"How much do your ice cream cones cost?"
The answer is "little enough that it's practically margin of error to anyone with a job." So if someone wants one bad enough to ask, they probably won't be dissuaded for fiscal reasons. They certainly were not on this day. And of course, they wanted cookies 'n' cream, the flavor that turns to brick ridiculously quickly after the lid comes off.
Five transactions with one customer, four of which required a manager's attention. How do these people not realize they're being annoying?
Fortunately, New Manager 1 was once again too busy to write me up after I finished everything, assuming she even intended to. Perhaps, in that way, the situation worked out well. Clouds, silver linings, and all that. In any case, you better believe I lit outta there in a hurry after I finished the ice cream, and the shake for the guy behind them.
Ever heard the saying "be careful what you wish for"?
Yeah...
Mr. Christmas
Some days ago, I came in and half-jokingly inquired if I was going on fries or front counter or if they were going to have me put up Christmas decorations. They said no to the last of those things, and someone (might have been SubSgt) said that "I wasn't the kind of guy they'd want putting up Christmas decorations." Never got a good explanation on that one.
Well, fast forward to today and Big Boss has decided it's time to deck the halls. Guess who she comes to with a bag of decorations. Yep. Called it without even trying
. Anyway, as part of the decorating process, I get to set up and decorate the fake tree! Yay!...you see where this is going, don't you?
Problem number one: I've never set up a fake tree like this. I have one at home, but usually I use real trees despite the expense because dat smell, and the one I have is much easier to set up with all the branches permanently hinged to the trunk. With this one, the branches are all separate and have to be hooked to the trunk. The problem is, they're all different lengths, and I'm really not sure how I'm going to figure out what goes where. Finally, I discover that this tree uses a color code to coordinate height and branch length. With that worked out, I finish setting up the tree itself quickly and uneventfully.
Then it's time to do the lights. There's three different kinds of lights in the box of decorations I was given, and Big Boss just tells me to use whichever kind I like the most. One of the strings, with intricate faceted bulbs that give a sort of sparkle effect, I immediately recognize as my favorite type from home (and one I've had trouble finding lately), so I decide to use that. Unfortunately, all the strings are tangled up together, and getting them apart takes some doing. Then I discover about halfway up the tree that there really is only one string of this type, and it's not long enough to reach the top the of tree. One of the other strings uses bulbs of a similar, though not identical, appearance, so I decide to finish the tree with it. I pull it out of the box and... wait a second, that's a control box! These blink! I think I'll redo the whole tree with them!
Oops. Once again, there's only one string, good for about half the tree, and you can't daisy-chain more lights off of these. The last remaining string is of yet another type I recognize from home, but it's a very old type and doesn't look like either of the others, so trying to mix it with another of our strings would just look trashy. Eventually, I decide to just use the lights more sparingly (a loop for every two layers of branches rather than every one, snaking between layers for better visual coverage). I do pull it off, but at this point I've put lights on the tree and taken them off again about three or four times, wasting an enormous amount of time and effort. Nevertheless, that's done, and I can now start on the ornaments.
Fortunately/unfortunately, not long after I start on that, New Manager 1 realizes I haven't had a break yet, and decides it's time for me to take one. Looking at the half-finished tree on my break, I realize that the lights are way too hard to see due to being coiled too tightly. When I clock back in, I say something frustrated about how I'm "finally gonna finish this stupid tree", which prompts New Manager 1 to respond "And when you're done with that, we need to talk."
Great. So not only has this task been an endless struggle, it's attracted a writeup as well. Hey guys, do the words "first attempt" mean anything to you?
Despite that hit to my motivation, I return to the tree and immediately pull the lights forward for better visibility, in the process making them even harder to see from behind, then resume working on the ornaments. By now, I'm the only cashier, so constant customer arrivals slow the process to a crawl. Eventually, however, it gets done, though with the ornaments heavily frontloaded for time/effort reasons (unlike the trees I decorate at home, which are intended for 360 degree viewing, this one is definitely not intended to be seen from behind, though fortunately it probably won't be). Moving on to the tinsel, I once again discover that I don't have enough to do one loop per layer, and in the process of fixing that I knock off and break one of our actually good ornaments, creating yet another delay as I get broom and dustpan and attempt to capture all the stubborn, elusive little pieces. With that and the tinsel done, and the topper apparently done trying to fall over, I reluctantly inform management that the tree is complete.
Fortunately, since I told Big Boss and not New Manager 1, I didn't get hauled into the office and forced to sign a confession that I dun goofed. Or maybe NM1 was just too busy, or thought better of it, or never actually intended to write me up and I just misheard her. Instead, Big Boss tells me to decorate the rest of the lobby, so, armed with some foam stockings and trees and a roll of double-stick tape, I set to work making the lobby look more festive. Constant customer interruptions are still slowing things down (where are all these people coming from on a Thursday afternoon?), but I'm slowly making progress. Soon enough, New Manager 1 takes on a more cheerful aspect and joins me in my task, hurrying things along considerably. To lighten my mood even further, the end of my shift is less than an hour away and closing in quickly. But just when things seemed to be looking up...
INCOMING! GET DOWN!
Apparently, corporate has released another run of coupons, because we're getting bombed with them again. In any case, with the end of my shift less than five minutes distant and one more decorating task on my mind, it's safe to say I was feeling pretty good. That's when I saw them. Another family, on the way in. And they had coupons.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msX8iULEQgA
Once again, our unfortunate rule is "one coupon per transaction" rather than "one coupon per customer", so I've no way to defend myself. I'm trapped at the counter, forced to handle their three transactions. Oh wait, four, since the kid has two coupons. And then, when it's finally supposedly over, when I finally breathe a sigh of relief that the Coupon Bombers are finally done, I hear these horrible, rage-inducing words from their leader:
"How much do your ice cream cones cost?"
The answer is "little enough that it's practically margin of error to anyone with a job." So if someone wants one bad enough to ask, they probably won't be dissuaded for fiscal reasons. They certainly were not on this day. And of course, they wanted cookies 'n' cream, the flavor that turns to brick ridiculously quickly after the lid comes off.
Five transactions with one customer, four of which required a manager's attention. How do these people not realize they're being annoying?
Fortunately, New Manager 1 was once again too busy to write me up after I finished everything, assuming she even intended to. Perhaps, in that way, the situation worked out well. Clouds, silver linings, and all that. In any case, you better believe I lit outta there in a hurry after I finished the ice cream, and the shake for the guy behind them.
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