How to get moved to the front of the line at the food stamp office

[dalesys]

... "I was in labor 99 hours, and then they got THE HOOK !"

A generality with a smidgen of core truth: Men's status derives from succeeding, Women's from suffering.

[AnaKhouri]

Both my birthday ended in emergency c-sections, one eight weeks early, but I never considered them horror stories. We are all three alive and well. I remember all the details very well, but I never doesn't or think if them as bad experiences. I would never try to scare done poor woman with a birth story, that's incredibly spiteful and cruel.

And I get being g freaked out by a woman in labor. I'd be nervous too! But I also know labor has stages and the first stages are relatively mild. I assume when you're on your fourth kid you know your body pretty well and can predict when the active stage might start. Maybe she even just claimed to be in labor to get to the front of the line!

[Sparklyturtle]

But seriously, if I was stuck in an elevator with a woman giving birth, when the EMT's got the doors open,...

Back when I worked in an old hospital I got stuck in an elevator with a very pregnant woman in a wheelchair and a nurse. When the elevator stopped between floors I said to the pregnant woman, "Don't you dare." She smiled and said, "Not yet." At least we were only in there for about 10 minutes,

I assume when you're on your fourth kid you know your body pretty well and can predict when the active stage might start. Maybe she even just claimed to be in labor to get to the front of the line!

If she was obviously close to term I don't think anyone would call her on it.

Once when I reported for jury duty the clerk called a name and this very pregnant woman gets out of her chair and walks up to the jury box. The judge asked her, "When is your baby due?" She said, "Last week!" The judge and both attorneys said in unison, "Excused!" It was for a murder/arson trial that lasted two weeks, so I think that was a valid question under the circumstances.

[Tanasi]

My youngest daughter was with my middle daughter through out her whole labor and delivery with her youngest daughter. Afterwards my youngest said there's no way in hell she's ever going to get pregnant. Poor girl was more than a little green around the gills. All that being typed D#3 and grand-baby #9 are inseparable.

[Mental_Mouse]

My sister's first labor was 48 hours. AIUI, it wasn't particularly dangerous or horrific, just long. She did go on to have two more kids.

[LadyofArc]

I am the one who should apologize. I was joking about you guys being mean in a laughing way. I deserve to be mocked and it honestly was very funny. Sometimes its hard tease in this media because nobody can see my face or hear me laughing.

Sarcasm and "joking" don't always translate well online. That's what emojis are for.

That said, I was being serious when I suggested that maybe some exposure therapy might help a little bit. Even if you don't want kids, just enough to at least calm you down so you can go through the next few steps (eg "OK, if you just sit down, I'll get someone to stay with you and call 911"). There are programs out there for people who have a fear of flying or a fear of spiders, so not sure if something like that exists for your phobia (maybe attending a childbirthing class?)

FWIW, my mother wound up having C-sections both times - in my case, I was a stubborn little bub who was breech and refused to turn around, while my sister happened to be a big bubba (funnily enough, she and I are around the same height even though I'm 3 years older than her!)

[Argus]

But I also know labor has stages and the first stages are relatively mild.

My mom's first time started with 24 hours (out of 36) like that. She spent that time cleaning the house (edit: and then sleeping still in her own bed).

Her second labor was 20 minutes. The doctor was still in street clothes and only had time to say "(name), push! ... It's a girl."

[dalesys]

I was second-string backup catcher for 6... 4 at 4 different hospitals and the last two at home.

[Slave to the Phone]

And I get being g freaked out by a woman in labor. I'd be nervous too! But I also know labor has stages and the first stages are relatively mild. I assume when you're on your fourth kid you know your body pretty well and can predict when the active stage might start. Maybe she even just claimed to be in labor to get to the front of the line!

Logically, I do know about stages of labor and I agree that she knew what was going on with her body. However, her body already knew how to give birth and things could happen very quickly!

I don't think she told me that she had started having contractions (she never said the "L" word) to get bumped ahead in the line. I am old enough to have been her grandmother, most people assume women my age have a lot of experience with the whole baby thing and wouldn't even blink about a few pre-labor contractions.

I don't hate babies, I am just afraid I might do something stupid and hurt them. Once they are crawling, I'm fine with them.

Toddlers probably shouldn't be left in my hands, though. I teach them things like how to stick olives on their fingers to eat them, how to step on empty soda cans and get them to bend around their feet so they can clatter around and make lots of noise, I let them play with my make-up and help them dress my mello kitty in doll clothes.

[Kit-Ginevra]

And this is why reproducing asexually has so many many benefits....

[DGoddessChardonnay]

My youngest daughter was with my middle daughter through out her whole labor and delivery with her youngest daughter. Afterwards my youngest said there's no way in hell she's ever going to get pregnant. Poor girl was more than a little green around the gills. All that being typed D#3 and grand-baby #9 are inseparable.

I recall my youngest sister saying the same thing about having kids after one of her girlfriends went into labor (Sis was with her at the hospital) and insisted that Sis be in the delivery room with her.

Baby Sis got a birds' eye view of the whole process . . . and she has been swearing ever since she will NOT have kids of her own.

The friend's son is now in elementary school and my sis visits as often as she can (she's now living about 1 1/2 hrs away) as she is the little guy's godmother.

[Minflick]

My children were in 4H, and all 3 were in the dairy goat project. I once asked them if taking the doe to be bred was a better birth control, or watching the doe kid? Doe giving birth won hands down...

[Tanasi]

I recall my youngest sister saying the same thing about having kids after one of her girlfriends went into labor (Sis was with her at the hospital) and insisted that Sis be in the delivery room with her.

Baby Sis got a birds' eye view of the whole process . . . and she has been swearing ever since she will NOT have kids of her own.

The friend's son is now in elementary school and my sis visits as often as she can (she's now living about 1 1/2 hrs away) as she is the little guy's godmother.

D3 is also the baby's Godmother. Right this minute both of they are playing over in the corner of the living room.

My children were in 4H, and all 3 were in the dairy goat project. I once asked them if taking the doe to be bred was a better birth control, or watching the doe kid? Doe giving birth won hands down...

My kids also did/does the 4H program. The showed cattle, hogs and rabbits. A few of my nieces showed sheep. Around here goats are referred to as Nannies and Billies.
I showed bull calves in 4H in 5-8 grade. Won the local, district and state in 8th grade. He was a big softy and wouldn't hurt anything but he was so big folks were scared of him.
Good luck to your kids and goats.

[Slave to the Phone]

And this is why reproducing asexually has so many many benefits....

Yeahbut...that means missing all of the fun stuff and still having babies happen!

My children were in 4H, and all 3 were in the dairy goat project. I once asked them if taking the doe to be bred was a better birth control, or watching the doe kid? Doe giving birth won hands down...

Hence me being scarred for life after watching my cat giving birth! (I was pretty late with the happy fun bedroom stuff because I had also seen her mating and KNEW that I didn't want to do that either! Once I learned that getting into a drag out fight and being held down by the back of my neck while being impaled by a barbed sexual organ wasn't part of the usual human mating ritual, I got over that.)


(highlight the above to read if you are over 18)

A friend from work was over today with her husband. After we got all comfortable with drinks in hand and were recreating, she causally asked her hub if she had remembered to tell him about me panicking over the pregnant lady. AND, she did it just as the pipe had hit my lips, the bitch!

I was coughing too hard to be able to protest, so she shared her version of the story with her hub and my sweetie. She wasn't involved and only got 3rd or 4th hand stories. HOLY COW!!!

I could work there for the next 100 years and would still be mocked about this.

[Pixelated]

*snip*

But seriously, if I was stuck in an elevator with a woman giving birth, when the EMT's got the doors open, they wouldn't worry much about the woman calmly and happily holding her baby, they would pick up the fat old woman passed out on the floor and put her on the gurney.

I'm pretty sure there are exits in the ceilings of most elevators ... and as non-athletic as I am at the ripe old age of 62, I would bloody well levitate myself out of there if I had to.

Once when I reported for jury duty the clerk called a name and this very pregnant woman gets out of her chair and walks up to the jury box. The judge asked her, "When is your baby due?" She said, "Last week!" The judge and both attorneys said in unison, "Excused!" It was for a murder/arson trial that lasted two weeks, so I think that was a valid question under the circumstances.

AND a valid rejection of that particular potential jurist! Kudos to her for actually showing up! I'll bet she joked about that one for months afterwards.

Yeah, there apparently is something called "pre-labour contractions." I had to Google it, just FYI, since I have never had kids either.

When I worked at the tea place, it wasn't unusual to get VERY preggo women in there asking if we had raspberry leaf tea, which is, IIRC, supposed to trigger labour. No, we didn't, and frankly, even if we had, I would've simply sold them the tea (as opposed to making them a cup of it) and shovelled them out of the store at warp speed: DRINK IT AT HOME, 'MKAY???