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  • What's left unsaid.

    Basically, similar to 'A canonical list of SC' except rather then listing types of customers this is more of a -this is what I'd like to say but won't because I want to keep my job- in response to a certain type of customer showing up.

    "I'm closed can't you see the sign" for those customers who like to line up at closed tills.

    "Pack you're own damn bags then" for those customers who either are uber specific of how they want their bags packed (yet you can never seem to do them properly) or who feel the need to unpack everything an repack.

    "No, I just come here to hang out and wear the uniform." A Direct mental reply to 'do you work here?' When you are quite clearly wearing a uniform that can't be confused with normal people clothes. (For instance wearing the rather distinctive WalMart blue vest)

    "I've heard that so many times today, and just like the first time you aren't funny" for those 'I guess it's free then' customers when items don't scan.

    "How have you gotten this far in life without basic understanding of how to use a pinpad?" For those who can't seem to understand that you don't know their PIN number and no we can't override that feature. Especially if you don't have tap. Bonus points if they *have* tap but refuse to use it.

    "Your total is $30, you handed me a $20, yes you do still owe me money. Why? Because 30 is a bigger number then 20. I'm not even that bad at math" usually accompanied by either the 'where's my change?' look or verbally asks why you aren't processing the order.

    "I am the supervisor. No there isn't anyone on right now who outranks me you idiot." Usually comes in late just before close and can't seem to comprehend why there isn't everyone from supervisor to store owner in the building, just to serve them. Won't listen to we can give you a call back spiel either.

    "I'm not a damn bank you asshole." The kind of customer who either wants a ton of money cash back, wants a certain kind of change in a large amount (usually 5s and 10s), or is there with the only purpose to exchange his money (usually a lot of it) for smaller bills rather then buy something. Bonus points if there's an actual bank within 5minutes walk.

    "If anyone can do it then why are you talking to me then?" for those customers who can't seem to understand that either quality takes time to do or that there's a reason you are being paid for your actual physical effort and not just supplies. Sometimes paired up with "If you think you can do it better then just do it yourself"
    Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

  • #2
    "The potato chips are in the aisle marked "POTATO CHIPS", you idiot!" for customers who ask where something is in the store when it's CLEARLY marked on the giant signs above each one.
    Last edited by Monterey Jack; 02-19-2018, 03:06 PM.

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    • #3
      I used to tell customers that stared at the pinpad when they said they want to use debit, "You have to push the buttons."

      I didn't say it quite in the same tone I used on my youngest brother when I was teaching him how to play Super Mario World.

      I also think I've heard every possible sarcastic reply to, "Can I help you find anything today?"
      Don't waste time trying to convince someone that the sky is blue.

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      • #4
        I get to say it

        Quoth AkaiKitsune View Post

        "If anyone can do it then why are you talking to me then?" for those customers who can't seem to understand that either quality takes time to do or that there's a reason you are being paid for your actual physical effort and not just supplies. Sometimes paired up with "If you think you can do it better then just do it yourself"
        One advantage of computer repairs is that more than half of the repairs are software, which means anyone who can READ WHAT IS WRITTEN and use Google can find the answers and do the repairs themselves.

        So whenever someone tried to put pressure on me the last few years that was often my response to them. And once I no longer worked for the computer repair center that became my response 100% of the time to anyone trying to hurry me along or get cheap on me during a repair.
        Last edited by earl colby pottinger; 02-19-2018, 03:30 PM.

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        • #5
          Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
          "The potato chips are in the aisle marked "POTATO CHIPS", you idiot!" for customers who ask where something is in the store when it's CLEARLY marked on the giant signs above each one.
          A close relative to the Ice Cream is in the frozen foods aisle, you know, the only aisle it could go in without dethawing
          Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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          • #6
            Dethawing would be refreezing, would it not?

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Minflick View Post
              Dethawing would be refreezing, would it not?
              Strangely enough, it would not.

              Dethaw definition.

              Another definition.

              English is a strange language.
              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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              • #8
                Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                Strangely enough, it would not.

                Dethaw definition.

                Another definition.

                English is a strange language.
                Inflammable means flammable? What a country!
                To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                • #9
                  Quoth Mr Hero View Post
                  Inflammable means flammable? What a country!
                  That one actually has an explanation -- the "in" there is not the negatory prefix "in-" -- rather, the root would correspond to "inflame".

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                  • #10
                    "Please go borrow a convenient eight-year-old and put him/her on the phone" to someone calling in for website help who does not grasp what a web browser IS, and fails to distinguish between the bottom of the page and the bottom of the monitor screen.
                    "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

                    "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Seanette View Post
                      [B] who does not grasp what a web browser IS
                      What's a web browser? Is that like "Microsoft"?

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                      • #12
                        “Open your eyes before you open your mouth”

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                        • #13
                          "Stop bitching about things that I didn't change and were cooperate's decision in the first place to change. I preferred the old ways too."

                          "Not my fault your bank card isn't working."

                          "Stop bathing in perfume. You don't appeal to anyone when they can't breath around you."
                          Don’t worry about what I’m up to. Worry about why you are worried about what I’m up to.

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                          • #14
                            "No, ma'am, I didn't make the dress too tight. It's not my fault that you gained twenty pounds since the last fitting."

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Monterey Jack View Post
                              "The potato chips are in the aisle marked "POTATO CHIPS", you idiot!" for customers who ask where something is in the store when it's CLEARLY marked on the giant signs above each one.
                              Double points if they interrupt you while you're with a customer

                              Triple points if they asked you the same question TWO DAYS AGO

                              Quadruple points if they are standing right in front of the potato chips

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