I'm at my wits end...please help :(

[KhirasHY]

Just adding in my agreement with the others, don't wait to report a crime. Ever watched those cop dramas, and you see the defense lawyer ask "Well why didn't you report this right away if it happened like you said it did?" I've seen a lawyer ask someone that same question in person before, since the question is designed to make someone look bad to a jury/judge.

Report, report, report. That way, if he gets a slap on the wrist once, you establish a clear pattern of behavior, and the punishment will (theoretically) progressively increase. Of course, you could get a judge who wants to stand on a soap box for a cause who decides to max him out on the sentence the first time, but don't count on that (sadly).

Stay strong, feel free to burn some stress in here, and keep at it. Things are already on their way to getting better right now, even if it doesn't seem that way. As Mad Eye used to say, "Constant vigilance!!"

[Der Cute]

Just adding in my agreement with the others, don't wait to report a crime. Ever watched those cop dramas, and you see the defense lawyer ask "Well why didn't you report this right away if it happened like you said it did?" I've seen a lawyer ask someone that same question in person before, since the question is designed to make someone look bad to a jury/judge.

Report, report, report. That way, if he gets a slap on the wrist once, you establish a clear pattern of behavior, and the punishment will (theoretically) progressively increase. Of course, you could get a judge who wants to stand on a soap box for a cause who decides to max him out on the sentence the first time, but don't count on that (sadly).

^^^^ THAT is what I've been trying to type out in my head. Every time he breaks a law, report him. If he's caught red-handed OR picked up after the infraction, it's a mark on his record. Example: breaking PPO. Arrested. Indicted. 30 days (this is all arbitrary and numbers for an example). Day 31, out, stalking again. Report. Warrent created. Arrest..lather rinse repeat.
Another thing to think of: If Asshole is reported, arrested, he's stuck IN THERE. So, every day that he's in there, due to his behavior, one more day without Asshole, and one more day for planning how to deal with him.

At this time, I suggest there NOT be a schedule to pick his shit up. He's not supposed to be within X distance of you. It may be worth packaging and shipping, or even a notice that it will be shipped to an address of his relatives etc. OR a 3rd party that's supervised. Just NOT HIM. (I am mentioning this to remind you that he may throw a fit about not getting 'his shit', or him claiming that) psst if he's got a computer could you copy the hard drive then search for threats/documents/anything you might use against him? and copy not remove.

Yalls are doing great. Law and justice aren't always swift, but putting all this shit together against him will really really help you in the long run. Big hugs from me.

[KhirasHY]

psst if he's got a computer could you copy the hard drive then search for threats/documents/anything you might use against him? and copy not remove.

I'm 99.99% sure that going into his computer (or copying a hard drive) without permission at this point would be a majorly bad idea legally, though if he DID have one with such info on it, it would likely be in his possession already. I would heavily recommend against doing anything like that to avoid having it backfire.

Edit: Also, wanted to add something to my previous post, if you don't report violations of a PPO, the court starts to ask questions like "are you really that threatened if you didn't report this earlier?" Don't give them that sort of chance, open up a report every single time something happens.

[Der Cute]

I'm 99.99% sure that going into his computer (or copying a hard drive) without permission at this point would be a majorly bad idea legally, though if he DID have one with such info on it, it would likely be in his possession already. I would heavily recommend against doing anything like that to avoid having it backfire.

Edit: Also, wanted to add something to my previous post, if you don't report violations of a PPO, the court starts to ask questions like "are you really that threatened if you didn't report this earlier?" Don't give them that sort of chance, open up a report every single time something happens.

Might not be legal, but my train of thought was more detective stuff. Copy the data, look through it?

No matter what, hugs.

[Seshat]

Check with your lawyer - there has to be a legal and safe way to get his possessions to him.

One option would be to put them in a storage shed (a commercial, third party one), paid for a reasonable period of time - presumably the minimum the company allows. A week or a month.
Have your lawyer give his lawyer the key, and the information on the location of the goods; as well as some form of authorisation for him to pick up ownership of the rental on that particular shed.
If you can have a witnessed inventory of what's in the shed, that'd be even better - some third-party friend of the family will do fine, you don't need to (ack) pay for a lawyer's time inventorying the shed's contents. But keep a copy of the inventory, and have your lawyer keep a copy of it in her case file. Another copy of the inventory can be passed to his lawyer along with the key.

Why have the lawyers involved? Because then there is a third-party, disinterested-party record of the transfer of the key, the witnessed inventory, and the authorisation for him to take over the rental agreement. If he chooses not to accept it, it's then HIS problem.

BUT: IANALawyer. Confer with your lawyer before doing this.
The plus side is that it puts all his stuff AWAY from your house, removing yet another reason for him to come anywhere near you.

[Dreamstalker]

Might not be legal, but my train of thought was more detective stuff. Copy the data, look through it?

I don't think it's legal unless the computer is also 'yours' (shared email, parental controls or another logical reason to have full access). MI might have some laws on the books about it, not sure on that point as the legal system is still in some ways trying to catch up with technology.

*HUGS* Document, report, document, and report some more. This scumbag has already proven he's willing to hang himself, but you need to provide some of the rope.

[Kisa]

I did some research on PPO's and personal posessions. If Steve wants to get anything of his from the property, he must contact the local police and request an escort. We are hiring a lawyer and will be restricting contact with him. We tried to report him yesterday, but were informed that we have to report him in the city the violations occurred (where my mom works) which is about 45 minutes away. We looked up the address and got directions and will report him asap.

[Pixilated]

Good going! Don't give him a "pass" on any violations, regardless of his excuses.

It's good that he needs a police escort to get his stuff, although you might still want to look into the legal requirements of getting it off your property entirely -- just one less thing to worry about.

[Der Cute]

I did some research on PPO's and personal posessions. If Steve wants to get anything of his from the property, he must contact the local police and request an escort. We are hiring a lawyer and will be restricting contact with him. We tried to report him yesterday, but were informed that we have to report him in the city the violations occurred (where my mom works) which is about 45 minutes away. We looked up the address and got directions and will report him asap.

Good going!
Keep the texts he sends
Keep log of when he calls, if you can keep voicemails great.
Keep log of anytime he approaches you, property, car, etc.
Keep emails if he does email you.
Do you have copy of PPO? Keep copy with you, just in case. (or heck, .pdf onto smartphone with case number, if that is needed)
Call police if there are any violations on his end.
Take a picture/movie/recording of his shit. "This is his monitor here, a Dell monitor on this desk. This is his pink camo blanket." Type this out too.
Don't contact him. If he needs to say something, go through a lawyer and the court.
Go reward yourself for this intelligent, smart, strategic work you're doing. He's not winning by a LONG shot. Do you have any idea how much stuff you have built against him? A metric fuckton of it. Keep it up!

[KhirasHY]

Take a picture/movie/recording of his shit. "This is his monitor here, a Dell monitor on this desk. This is his pink camo blanket." Type this out too.

Der Cute beat me to it, but that is a great way to get proof of what is being inventoried...so if you list everything on camera, and he says "my (insert here) was missing!" you can simply refer to the video evidence of you putting the stuff into that storage, and voila. Keep hangin' in there!

[dendawg]

Der Cute beat me to it, but that is a great way to get proof of what is being inventoried...so if you list everything on camera, and he says "my (insert here) was missing!" you can simply refer to the video evidence of you putting the stuff into that storage, and voila. Keep hangin' in there!

I wouldn't put it past this guy to make up missing items.

[KatherineB]

I wouldn't put it past this guy to make up missing items.

He may well, so perhaps also take photos within the house and also bring family photos to any hearings. They won't completely exonerate (how can they when the things don't exist?) but if you can display photos where those things naturally would be and aren't, he will have less of a leg to stand on.