Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Navigating the switchboard operator of doom...

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Navigating the switchboard operator of doom...

    Ooh I found this one whilst clearing out my old emails. It was for a report I was doing for Horrendous Switchboard Banking Company (no names )...

    Dear Francois,You asked for my report on the phone call assignment for Horrendous Switchboard bank.Here it is verbatim for your entertainment...

    H:Hello,switchboard,can I help you?
    Me:I'd like to be transferred through to Sue A please
    H:Huh?What do you mean?
    Me:I'd like to be transferred through to Sue A please
    H:I don't know what you're asking-what do you want me to do?
    Me:I'd like to be transferred through to Sue A please
    H:Is that a person,a place,a department?
    Me:It's a person.Sue A.
    H:I need the full name.
    Me:That is the full name-Sue A.
    H:I need the full first name.
    Me:I don't know that-she just said Sue in the message.
    H:Without that,I can't help you.I need the full first name.
    Me:I don't know whether she's Suzanne,Susie,Suzette or Sue.She goes by the name of Sue at work. She's the Premier Co-ordinator and she's on extension xxxx
    H:How do you spell A***?
    Me:I'm assuming A***.Or possibly A***
    H:If you haven't got the correct spelling,I can't help you.
    Me:Well,let's try A***.Do you have anyone called Sue A of whatever spelling then can you transfer me through-I'm certain there can't be more than one of them.
    H:Well,I can't transfer you if I have don't know who you want to talk to.
    Me:Right-there is a Sue A,who is a person.
    H:Yes
    Me:Who is a Premier Co-ordinator on extension xxxxx
    H:Yes
    Me:Excellent.That's who I want...
    *silence*
    Me:Hello?
    H:Yes.I don't understand what it is you're wanting me to do.What is it you want from me?
    Me:I've given you the name of the person and the number they are on.I want you to transfer me through to them.It shouldn't be this difficult.
    H:With respect sir,it is difficult if I haven't got any information.
    Me:The name is Sue A.The department is Premier Co-ordinator,the number is xxxx. Do you have any number at all in your company for that?
    H:There's nothing coming up here on my screen
    Me:So,to confirm,you have no number for a Sue A. anywhere in your company-is that what you're telling me?
    H:Well I can't say,it hasn't brought it up because I haven't got any information to put in.I do have a number for an S.A in the system.
    Me:Super-can you transfer me through?
    H:I can't do that,it might not be the right S.A.
    *sound of head banging against wall*.



    *they did not get a good report for ease of use
    The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

  • #2
    Gods of my ancestors, is it even possible for someone to be that stupid?!? They had to be playing with you.

    You even gave them the person's actual extension number and they didn't know how to dial those four digits and hit the transfer button??

    That breaks my brain.
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

    Comment


    • #3
      That broke mine too! How does that even.....with the extension and all... arghfrghgrr.
      1129. I will refrain from casting Dimension Jump and Magnificent Mansion on every police box we pass.
      -----
      http://orchidcolors.livejournal.com (A blog about everything and nothing)

      Comment


      • #4
        I bank with them....and yeah, i've had similar.

        Most recent:
        Me: Hi, I need a new [security thingy]
        Them1: Ok, let me transfer you.
        [music]
        Them2: Hello, I understand you need a new security thingy? Is this because [reason 1] or [reason 2]?
        Me: [reason 2]
        Them2: Ok, have you tried [pointless thing]?
        Me: No, because [reason 2] not [reason 1]
        Them2: ok, no problem, i'll transfer you.
        Me: ???
        [Music]
        Them3: Ok, so we need to [new security thingy] is that right?
        Me: Yes please.
        Them3: Ok, i'll get that arranged, please hold for the security department to confirm.
        Me: ???
        [music]
        Them4: Please confirm [blah blah]
        Me: [Blah answer blah]
        Them4: Ok, all done, I'll transfer you back to Them3 to get the order completed.
        Me: [Head + wall = ow]
        [music]
        Them3: Ok, that will be sorted now, have a good day.


        Four departments, just to send me something out by post, It seems department 1 was the sort of "front line" callcentre who route people through to relevant departments. Department 2 seemed to be the "troubleshoot the thingy" department. 3 were the "it's borked, send out a new one" group and number 4 was simply to ensure I was who I claimed.

        It was just so...weird!

        Comment


        • #5
          I hate the security thingy. I don't know why they thought the best way to protect their customers is to have us make sure we don't lose the security thingy. Just put some security questions or something on your site.
          How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

          Comment


          • #6
            The reason is because:

            1) People forget passwords, making them useless for real security.

            2) Peoples' answers to "security questions" tend to be easily guessable with a little research, making them useless for real security.

            3) You can't do biometrics over the phone.

            Comment


            • #7
              Yes but the security thingy also requires me to input a certain code I chose and could easily forget as well. plus it's a small physical thing I could lose.
              How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

              Comment


              • #8
                To do internet banking with them you need:

                Your internet banking ID number (two letters and 10 digits)
                The answer to your memorable question
                The code for your security thingy, which will then generate a unique code that you enter into the website. The security thingy is a physical device, about half the size of a credit card, that you should (apparently) carry with you at all times, it's on one of those little keychains that you get mobile phone charm thingies on, not the most secure.

                If you want to transfer money you need a different procedure on your security thingy, and certain things via telephone banking also require another different procedure on the security thingy.

                Best of luck if you lose or break the thingy.

                My parent;s bank has a larger security thingy that you have to insert your bank card in to, not useful under certain circumstances in my opinion, such as the time DH was shopping and I was at home, he had the card, a bill had come out a day earlier than expected so I needed to transfer money from [Savings account] to [main account]. Couldn't have done that with their bank.
                Last edited by Golden Phoenix; 05-19-2015, 08:06 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Golden Phoenix View Post
                  To do internet banking with them you need:

                  ...
                  Best of luck if you lose or break the thingy.
                  That's my point, it's supposed to be secure but it's frustrating to use. You're actually supposed to think about usability when designing these things.
                  Last edited by EricKei; 05-21-2015, 03:31 PM. Reason: Trimmed quote
                  How was I supposed to know someone was slipping you Birth Control in the food I've been making for you lately?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Soulstealer View Post
                    That's my point, it's supposed to be secure but it's frustrating to use. You're actually supposed to think about usability when designing these things.
                    Yep. If it's secure but so frustrating to use that users are driven to find ways around the security, well, then, it's not so secure anymore, is it?
                    "I often look at every second idiot and think, 'He needs more power.'" --Varric Tethras, Dragon Age II

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Sue's on First

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        No,Who's on first
                        The Copyright Monster has made me tell you that my avatar is courtesy of the wonderful Alice XZ.And you don't want to annoy the Copyright Monster.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Lachrymose View Post
                          Sue's on First
                          Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
                          No,Who's on first
                          Sue was last seen entering the men's washroom.
                          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth wolfie View Post
                            Sue was last seen entering the men's washroom.
                            Can Who even get to second base?
                            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Kit-Ginevra View Post
                              No,Who's on first
                              I don't know.

                              Highlight for all the team members.

                              First base: Who
                              Second base: What
                              Third Base: I Don’t Know
                              Catcher: Today
                              Pitcher: Tomorrow
                              Short stop: I Don’t Give A Darn
                              Left field: Why
                              Center field: Because
                              Right field: Somebody


                              The sequel to the above linked skit.
                              "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X