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Army Fun, From Annual Training

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  • Army Fun, From Annual Training

    I was a Chaplains Assistant in the Army Reserves. It was great.

    As such one of our duties was to defend the Chaplains (who, by law and the Geneva Convention, are Conscientious Objectors and can not carry a weapon or command soldiers in combat). Chaplains always are on a "real-world" mission, as Emergency messages still come in, soldiers who want to talk to someone (who won't repeat a word said), and people who still want to attend various religious services. So we set up our Chapel in one corner of the Mess Hall, using MRE cases as walls to make an "office".

    This training event was the largest Reserve Training event ever (at the time with 6000+ soldiers over 3 main FOBs and several smaller outposts), down in sunny Ft. Hood, TX. Everyone was issued blank ammo, as "OP FOR" (opposition force) might attack any day.

    CH. Lt. Mulcahy

    We were originally going to run the Chapel 24 hrs/day, like in theater. But the Chaplains got tired of being woken up for "Notional" (not real, but part of the training) casualties, and us Assistants got tired of sleeping in the Mess hall (in the MRE "office") So all "Notional" duties were assigned to Chaplain Mulcahy and everyone else went back to sleep.

    What? You never meet Chaplain Mulcahy? He is a Lieutenant, and a Roman Catholic Priest. Great guy, honest, hard working, you will never meet a better Chaplain.
    *whispers:highlight next 2 lines *
    (He is a Character on the TV show MASH. Five of us actually convinced one of the younger Chaplain Assistants that he was real and was in charge of all "Notional" duties. When she asked someone, who did not know we were playing a prank, that Chaplain played along with the gag. Lasted almost 2 days.)

    Where we take prisoners

    "OP FOR" finally attacked (they always save the fun stuff for the last couple days).

    It was late evening, I was in the Mess Hall/Chapel with 4 Assistants and 5 Chaplains (Mine was not there, important for later). We heard the Simulated mortars go off and took defensive positions around the doors. (we were told "OP FOR" was going to try to infiltrate Unit HQs and buildings).

    *interrupting bovine* Everyday, we are given a new Challenge/Password, every good soldier knows to remember these because you might need them. The guard asks the challenge question, and they expect the answer password. ex. challenge word=hat, password=ball. Question "Did you remember your hat? Password "Sure, I also have my ball". Any sentence will work, as long as the word is in it.

    Suddenly the door bust open and two soldiers come in. Specialist and PFC.

    SGT. A: Halt, *gives the challenge*
    Them: *gives dumfounded look on face* Uhmmmm
    Me and 3 others: *Clicks safety switch from safe to simi* (nothing is more intimidating than the clicking of safety switches.)
    Them: *Now has look of mild terror*
    SGT. A: Keep your hands up, and place your weapons on the ground.

    So we, the Chaplain Assistants, took them prisoner. They could be "OP FOR", probably not, but we have to train like we fight.

    SGT. A took their weapons, unloaded them, then took their IDs (standard prisoner processing), and made them sit in the corner. We were nice and did NOT tie them up, this was only training and we have other methods of teaching lessons.

    About 2 hours later, of lying on the floor and watching the door. The "simulated" battle was mostly over (we won). So SGT. A decided to take the "prisoners" back to their unit. I did not get to go, but stories I did hear.

    SGT. A and another Assistant, escorted them back. The "prisoners" had to keep their hands in the air, and would not get their weapons back until their identities were confirmed.

    SGT. A: Sir, I am SGT. A. A Chaplains Assistant with {his unit}. Are these two soldiers with your unit?
    Officer: *slightly confused* Yes.
    SGT. A: During the simulated attack, they took shelter in the Mess Hall. But they did not know the password, so we took them prisoner.

    And everyone in the units command center burst out laughing. SGT. A returns their rifles, ammo, and IDs (which caused more snickering), and 2 soldier learned the importance of paying attention in morning formation.:lol

    bounds: That makes no sense Staff Sargent

    The next day, I was told by a Staff Sargent that instead of helping to protect the 5 Chaplains, I should have gone outside to find my Chaplain. My Chaplain said that would have been a BAD idea, why?

    1) I was in a 'fortified' building, simulated mortars were outside. (if an observer saw that, I would have been told to be a casualty. In the real world, I could get killed.)
    2) I did not know his EXACT location. I knew of 3 places he could be, about 150-300m apart. Running between them, in the middle of an attack, would be insane.
    3) I know my Chaplain is not stupid. He would get to shelter quickly and stay (he was inside our unit's command center, guarded by at least 20 members of my unit, he was safe)
    4) Leaving the 5 Chaplains would have reduced their protection and would have increased their risk. You do not abandon one post just to check on another. I was just as responsible for their safety and his.

    So everyone agreed in the end, I was right to stay put and protect the Chaplains there. And that Staff Sargent got nasty looks from the other Chaplains.
    I might be crazy, but I'm not Insane.

    What? You don't play with flamethrowers on the weekends? You are strange.

  • #2
    I was in the AF in the early 70's (back when they still had WAFs) and was was they called a Chaplain Services Specialist. Was stationed at Travis AFB and was a receptionist for the base chapel. Then spent 2 yrs at RAF Bentwaters/Woodbridge in England as the bookkeeper for the Protestant Chaplains Fund. It was all so different back then. I was glad to get out in 74 but I'm glad I did it.
    "They gave me a badge with my name on it. In case I forget who I am." Dr Who - Closing Time

    "I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage-Mythbusters

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