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I'm told this is a new "brand standard" for Elongated Hexagon Inns, and I give it a month at the most before someone complains and it goes by the wayside. But not, I might add, until after we get to watch all the money it cost to implement this new policy circle the bowl a few times before it pops down the drain.
What is this marvelous new brand standard you ask? We're supposed to "connect" with guests' children! How are we supposed to connect with guests' children?
Stickers! Big round, colorful stickers that look like conventioneer badges from hell! With a space to write the kid's name in thick black marker so everyone can see the kid's name! So that it says, "NAME has Elongatedality!"
A few things here.
I'm currently in school to become a forensic social worker. We're the ones you call in after the local pervert saw your kid's name on their clothing or backpack and was able to lure your kid into their proverbial windowless van by calling your kid's name, that you helpfully provided, and then saying that they're a friend of yours and you sent them to pick up your kid. Or some such, because I'm told that kind of thing used to happen back when children were allowed outside unsupervised. And yes, believe me I am well aware that your kid is actually many times more likely, statistically, to come to sexual or physical harm by your hand that they are by a stranger's. Nevertheless, I remember all those "stranger danger" lessons from my own childhood about what a bad idea it is to go around with your name out there for anyone with ill intentions to see.
That's one of the reasons this makes me uneasy. For another, for a hotel desk clerk to try to "connect" with a guest's children is creepy on its face, and if I were the guest, or the child, I know I wouldn't like it. For another, big, colorful stickers only appeal to children up to a certain age, and that age is about five. Past that point, in today's culture -- at least around here where I live -- it's a race to grow up and reach the teenager sneer years. Whoever kills their sense of wonder and achieves disdainful nihilism first wins, and in the meantime you have all these miniature adults glued to their electronics and looking down on a world that bores them senseless. In other words, these stickers won't do much for many.
So, we have big rolls of stickers that cost God knows how much to print that we're supposed to give out, and we're supposed to give them out by "connecting" with guests' children while doing everything else we're supposed to do.
Like I said, I give it a month.
What is this marvelous new brand standard you ask? We're supposed to "connect" with guests' children! How are we supposed to connect with guests' children?
Stickers! Big round, colorful stickers that look like conventioneer badges from hell! With a space to write the kid's name in thick black marker so everyone can see the kid's name! So that it says, "NAME has Elongatedality!"
A few things here.
I'm currently in school to become a forensic social worker. We're the ones you call in after the local pervert saw your kid's name on their clothing or backpack and was able to lure your kid into their proverbial windowless van by calling your kid's name, that you helpfully provided, and then saying that they're a friend of yours and you sent them to pick up your kid. Or some such, because I'm told that kind of thing used to happen back when children were allowed outside unsupervised. And yes, believe me I am well aware that your kid is actually many times more likely, statistically, to come to sexual or physical harm by your hand that they are by a stranger's. Nevertheless, I remember all those "stranger danger" lessons from my own childhood about what a bad idea it is to go around with your name out there for anyone with ill intentions to see.
That's one of the reasons this makes me uneasy. For another, for a hotel desk clerk to try to "connect" with a guest's children is creepy on its face, and if I were the guest, or the child, I know I wouldn't like it. For another, big, colorful stickers only appeal to children up to a certain age, and that age is about five. Past that point, in today's culture -- at least around here where I live -- it's a race to grow up and reach the teenager sneer years. Whoever kills their sense of wonder and achieves disdainful nihilism first wins, and in the meantime you have all these miniature adults glued to their electronics and looking down on a world that bores them senseless. In other words, these stickers won't do much for many.
So, we have big rolls of stickers that cost God knows how much to print that we're supposed to give out, and we're supposed to give them out by "connecting" with guests' children while doing everything else we're supposed to do.
Like I said, I give it a month.
I was just talking with a classmate about how around here, parents almost get offended if I don't coo over their children. I'm serious. I guess at my work people assume I have kids, or like them, or whatever. But if I don't ask how old they are or mention the kid I think 95% of the time the parent brings it up on their own. Like they don't know what else to talk about, and they don't like silence. I'm not sure I'm explaining it well, it's not that talking about their kids is bad per say... It's just I have really nothing to say about kids, so it's awkward. Sometimes if they're older I might ask what grade they're in, or if they're going to help make whatever project, but that's about all I can muster.
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