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His two cents worth - only seven times the fun

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  • #1

    His two cents worth - only seven times the fun

    It's been slow the last couple weeks, most of the office staff has been taking Fridays off, and I am alone in the shop with one of the installers (ie no help in this situation) when a customer walks in full throttle:
    'MY ACCOUNTANT JUST NOTICED I OVERPAID YOU!'

    Okay, that's a lot of aggression to start out with. I get his name and start looking it up on the computer, encouraged by his high volume monologue and find his file to discover
    1) He did in fact overpay, by 14 cents
    2) On an $11 000 bill
    3) Two months late
    4) Eight months ago
    5) He lives a 40 minute drive away from the shop

    So I can only assume he drove 40 minutes to specifically collect the 14 cents we owe him, due to his writing the cheque for his bill 14 cents over, which seems unproductive (ie stupid) at the very least.

    'So I am looking at your file and I see that you did over pay, by 14 cents in July.'
    'THATS WHAT I AM SAYING. YOU ALL ARE THIEVES. IM NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS! I AM CALLING THE NEWS, AND THE POLICE, AND THE INTERNET'

    So I reach into my pocket and come up with a quarter and hand it to him 'I'm terribly sorry for the misunderstanding, here, with all of our apologies.'

    Which caused him to immediately calm down and feel happy. HA, HA, HA, yeah right.

    'WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO DO, IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE, HOW CHILDISH ARE YOU! YOU OWE ME FOURTEEN CENTS!!!!'

    I explained to him that I didn't actually have 14 cents, since there is no longer a penny nobody actually has 14 cents, asked my coworker if he had 15 cents (he didn't) before deciding there was nothing else I could do for him, and would he be going now? No, no, first he needed a receipt. To prove I'd given him a quarter. For, well he wasn't able to be real clear on that, but he definitely needed it. So I took out a piece of letterhead, and wrote:
    March 13, 2015 I (my name) gave Mr (customer) twenty five cents on behalf of (our company) today.
    And I signed it.

    And he flipped his shit. Because it wasn't a real receipt, and what was he supposed to do with that, and what the hell kind of scam artists are we. At which point my coworker gave up, stood up, (all 6'6" 300lbs of him) cracked his knuckles, walked over to where we were, and picked up a 4' wrecking bar. And Mr. Happy decided it was time to leave, but he was going to 'BE BACK TO FIX THIS RIGHT, AND TELL EVERYONE WHAT A SCAM YOU GUYS ARE!!' before he slammed his way out.

    And me and my coworker just stared at each other for a minute like then started laughing. I still don't understand what happened today.
    Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Wow. Just, wow. I can't find words for this.
    The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

    You would have to be incredibly dense for the world to revolve around you.

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    • #3
      OK, I give up: what were you supposed to do?
      I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

      Who is John Galt?
      -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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      • #4
        Idiot burned up more in fuel than he got in refund. Why didn't he just apply it to the next bill?

        Or maybe he could pull that stick out of his arse and sell it for fourteen cents to a lumber company.
        I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
        My LiveJournal
        A page we can all agree with!

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        • #5
          I'm not entirely sure, but my best guess is, invent a time machine, travel back to summer, break into his office and warn him as he was writing his check that it was the wrong amount. Or possibly cry and beg him not to call the internet on us. It's a toss-up between those two.
          Pain and suffering are inevitable...misery is optional.

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          • #6
            There are so many levels of fail here it's beyond pathetic...

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            • #7
              Hmmmm...... you should have being asking HIM for the receipt, to prove that his 14 cents had been refunded
              There's no such thing as a stupid question... just stupid people.

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              • #8
                Maybe somebody's off their meds? The whole situation is bizarre. I wonder (just for fun) what would have happened if you'd said the $.14 was a late fee? Or that since it was eight months ago, it was tough cookies?

                Reminds me of the lady who lost her mind because something rang up at $1.00 instead of $.99. I overrode it, and she saved her precious penny.
                Replace anger management with stupidity management.

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                • #9
                  Sounds like it was a very good thing you had that installer there for backup!
                  "Crazy may always be open for business, but on the full moon, it has buy one get one free specials." - WishfulSpirit

                  "Sometimes customers remind me of zombies, but I'm pretty sure that zombies are smarter." - MelindaJoy77

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                  • #10
                    Wait just a cotton-pickin' minute...

                    There are 1,100,000 pennies in $11,000...

                    He overpaid you by .00127% (127 hundred-thousandths of a percent), and he's COMPLAINING about it?!

                    That's not even a rounding error, for goodness sake!
                    Skilled programmers aren't cheap. Cheap programmers aren't skilled.

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                    • #11
                      Rageoholics are interesting. They just want to be mad. Something about the way their brains are wired - rage satisfies them, makes them feel like something's getting done, makes them feel productive. Take away their rage, and they either get confused or get angrier.

                      Had a boss once who was like that. I'd made some minor mistake the day before, and he marched right over before I'd even gotten my coat off and started busting my chops about it. When he paused for breath, I asked him if there was anything I could do about it or what he wanted me to do to fix it. He got this deer-in-headlights look and said, "J...just don't let it happen again," and went back to his office. It was very weird.

                      My instinct when I see someone going on high-octane hate is to try to defuse or de-escalate, but there are a lot of people who just won't hear of it. They just want to be mad, because it's better than feeling nothing.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth mjr View Post
                        Wait just a cotton-pickin' minute...

                        There are 1,100,000 pennies in $11,000...

                        He overpaid you by .00127% (127 hundred-thousandths of a percent), and he's COMPLAINING about it?!

                        That's not even a rounding error, for goodness sake!
                        Nobody knows where customers get numbers from. A dark, unsanitary place is my best guess, but I can't prove it.

                        I'd have asked him who wrote the check? Why, sir, you did? Then it was YOUR OWN FAULT. Of course, I'd only say this with the large, brawny, armed co-worker standing between me and Mr. Rage.
                        When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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                        • #13
                          Reminds me of Steve Martin's line in L.A. Story, "I know it, I know I am being filmed..."

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                          • #14
                            I think you might have enjoyed that visit from the police. I can just imagine the policeman trying to figure out the crime involved.

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                            • #15
                              Quoth Shyla View Post
                              I think you might have enjoyed that visit from the police. I can just imagine the policeman trying to figure out the crime involved.
                              At least the cop could get a cup of coffee out of it . ..

                              Back when I was overnight security at a bank op center we got the cops sent on us about every second or third week for refusing to let some random person in at 2 am to use the lobby toilets ... so they would sit in a car in the parking lot watching me let in a couple cops and give them cups of coffee, shake hands and let them out. As the building was officially closed and it was not any sort of public building, there was no legal requirement to let some random drunk in to use the jakes. Got me friendly with the local cops though
                              EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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