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SCs who think they're funny (kinda long)

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  • SCs who think they're funny (kinda long)

    I had some ass do the most idiotic thing to me today while I was at the reference desk. He came up to the desk so I acknowledged his presence and asked him what he needed help with. He stood there and said nothing. I asked him again what he needed help with, and again he said nothing. I started to lose my patience because it was the end of the night. I had already dealt with enough stupid people during the course of the day. I was also trying to order replacement parts for damaged items while doing reference duty. I was about to leave the desk to get away from him, but then he started to speak Spanish. I immediately felt guilty because I figured he couldn't speak English. This is how our exchange went:

    Me: Do you want me to get someone who speaks Spanish? I don't speak Spanish.
    Idiot Patron: Says something in Spanish again.
    Me: I don't speak Spanish. (*I get up to leave)
    Idiot: I was just kidding. I'm a legal advisor. (WTF does this have to with anything?). He grins and shows me his toothless smile.
    Me: Ummm...okay. (He just wasted 5 minutes of my time, and I want to kill him).
    Idiot: Do you have power of attorney forms?
    I get him his damn forms and glare at him during the remainder of our interaction.

    How bizarre is that? Why in the hell would someone do this? I couldn't tell if he was insane or what.

  • #2
    Reversed, but reminds me of:
    http://www.rjmwhittaker.com/sigs/4y-records/2000/33.jpg

    I've never experienced anything like that (yet), mostly just the repeated "oh, doesn't scan, must be free!" *twitches head and cracks neck slowly*
    "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

    Comment


    • #3
      I hate it when I am cashing out their chips or tickets and they're like:
      "Want to throw in an extra hundred?"

      I have to throw in the fake laugh and say: "Sorry they're watching me." While pointing to the billion cameras.

      What I am thinking: Sure, let me go out a hundred short and loose my job. Yeah, that's exactly what I want to do!

      Or

      "I want lucky money."
      Me: Well, here's the lucky money you just need to find the lucky machine or slots.

      Yes, I really say this. Now in reality if I knew where the special money and machines were, I guarantee I wouldn't be behind this cage/counter here! I'd be on my own island sipping out of a coconut with an umbrella in it.

      Comment


      • #4
        the ones with "humor" just might be the worst

        me: can i help you?
        sc: i couldn't work here
        me:...i'm sorry?
        sc: yeah. all those cookies...i'd be fatter than a pig, harharhar
        me: mmyes...is there something i can get for you
        sc: what, you've heard that before or somethin'?
        me:...no sir. no. i've been working here for a year and never heard that before.
        sc: wow! i'm funnier than i thought! harharhar

        ...
        mrs fields: serving sarcasm one cookie at a time

        "m'fashnik...is that like mm cookies?" ~dawn summers

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Anakah View Post
          I hate it when I am cashing out their chips or tickets and they're like:
          "Want to throw in an extra hundred?"

          I have to throw in the fake laugh and say: "Sorry they're watching me." While pointing to the billion cameras.
          Screw the fake laugh. I'd say, "Not really", in a completely serious tone of voice.

          I guess I wouldn't have lasted long at your job.
          Sometimes life is altered.
          Break from the ropes your hands are tied.
          Uneasy with confrontation.
          Won't turn out right. Can't turn out right

          Comment


          • #6
            The one that got me... well, the situation. At the time, I took care of video games in this place that contracted with a different company to do their cranes. Silly setup, IMO, because I could have done a better job than the people they had. Anyway, the crane guy is in there when I was, it's before opening, and he looks at me and says "Hey, show me some love", just like in a B-grade gansta flick.

            Look, I know from personal experience that you have to be tired of people asking you for free merchandise. It gets old fast. So why are you bugging me, and why do it in that really pathetic way?

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Bloodsoul View Post
              I've never experienced anything like that (yet), mostly just the repeated "oh, doesn't scan, must be free!" *twitches head and cracks neck slowly*
              That brings back some painful memories. I used to get it at least once a day back in retail.

              I think someone was talking on another thread about how customers will come up to you when it's not busy and say "I'm going to put you to work!" as if you just stand around doing nothing all day. That pisses me off too, just like the people who say "Working hard or hardly working?" Hardy har-har.
              "If you are planning not to tip, please let your server know before ordering so they can decide whether or not to wait on you" - from an advice column I read some time ago

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              • #8
                Well, if they want to put me to work, then I'll just go back to stocking the shelves like I was supposed to do before they called me back to register for the billionth time that night!!

                ..I wish I had a stock room position; so happy >.<
                "IT stands away, interrupting himself from the incessant hammering of the kittens…"

                Comment


                • #9
                  I know how you feel megami. I had a guest (they don't like us to refer to them as "customers") who said the same thing.
                  "I could never work here. I'd be too tempted to steal all that money."

                  I've been working there for a year and never once have I been tempted. I am glad to see it go away when I am off the clock. I get literally sick of handling/looking at that money. It would be a whole different ballgame if the money were mine but I'm merely protecting the company's merchandise.

                  And I use to HATE hearing: Oh, it won't scan it MUST be free. Where do they come up with this crap?? And they think anybody would find it funny/fall for it?

                  I get this too:
                  SC puts down a hundred dollar bill.
                  SC: "I want six twenties."
                  Oh, wow... Now I am just going to overpay you because you thought you "pulled one over on me." I usually roll my eyes when they're not looking and give them five.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Anakah View Post
                    I get literally sick of handling/looking at that money.

                    A few years ago, after a particularily busy day at Goodwill, my family and I went out to dinner. I paid, and when the cashier started to give me back my change, I recoiled and nearly curled up in a corner. The thought of money made me nauseous.
                    Unseen but seeing
                    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                    3rd shift needs love, too
                    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Giggle Goose View Post

                      I think someone was talking on another thread about how customers will come up to you when it's not busy and say "I'm going to put you to work!" as if you just stand around doing nothing all day.
                      That just makes me want to say "I was working until you interrupted me"

                      Sometimes work really does look like standing around staring at a computer screen...
                      I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                      I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                      It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        It's people who think they're funny that have made me go from saying...

                        "Can I get you anything else?"

                        to saying...

                        "Do you have everything you need that I can legally get for you?"

                        Yes, that is my standard check back line to my customers. Yes, it usually gets a few laughs, because people (most of them) understand where I am coming from OR just think I am being funny. Either way, a win win for me.

                        Of course there are the customers that will ask for "a million dollars" or "a bagful of fifties" or "a winning lottery ticket." To these creative geniuses I simply say "If I had that, I wouldn't be asking you if you wanted anything else!"

                        Then there are those oh so virile men, who insist on asking me for "three hot blondes." To which my standard reply is "If I had them, what makes you think I would share? I like you pal, but I don't like you THAT much!" By the way, this one and variations on it are almost always men. Kudos to the women for avoiding this idiotic request.

                        One humorous request I used to get as a magician all the time was "Can you make our bill disappear?" I get a variation of that occasionally as a server, something along the lines of, well, "Can you make our bill disappear?" At least the first group was making a joke about my occupation as a magical performer. The second group are just cheap a-holes. To both my standard response was, "No...but I can double it for you if you're not careful!"

                        Don't even get me started on the yahoos that ask me for illegal drugs, free bottles of booze, free shots, or hookers. No problem, pal. You see, this server thing is simply something I do to amuse myself. In actuality, I am a wealthy hedonistic philanthropist, and I enjoy generously giving away such pleasurable services to people I barely know or even tolerate. Yes, my friend, I can procure all that for you. Simply step on to my yacht of pleasure, the Happy Stupid Server, and my minions will see to your every whim.

                        "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                        Still A Customer."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Jester View Post
                          Of course there are the customers that will ask for "a million dollars" or "a bagful of fifties" or "a winning lottery ticket." To these creative geniuses I simply say "If I had that, I wouldn't be asking you if you wanted anything else!"
                          Gah! I get some variation on that several times a week. And each idiot who says it truly believes it's hysterical and that I've never heard it before.
                          "Full price for gum?! That dog won't hunt, monsignor." - Philip J. Fry

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                          • #14
                            a couple weeks ago i asked a customer if there was anything i could get for them. he said "yeah. you're coworker's phone number. she's cute!"
                            ...because i am now apparently a dating service.
                            mrs fields: serving sarcasm one cookie at a time

                            "m'fashnik...is that like mm cookies?" ~dawn summers

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I wish for the power to make customers who use the following tired jokes vanish into thin air...

                              1. It doesn't scan? It must be free!
                              2. You look bored!
                              3. I'll give you something to do.
                              4. Heh, made it this morning!
                              5. Bet you wish now you hadn't dropped out!

                              Or even the power to make the following replies without getting into trouble:

                              1. Actually, now I'm adding £10 to your bill cuz you just passed on a chance to be original and not say that.
                              2. I am bored. Bored of being here when the sun's shining outside. However, I'd far prefer to sit here and clean the till rather than have to deal with you.
                              3. I've got something to do, thanks. Making paper aeroplanes and opening bags.
                              4. OK, so can you wait here while I go and report you to the police for forgery?
                              5. Actually, dumb arse, I completed secondary; passed my GCSEs, went to college, passed my A-Levels, then cuz I didn't want to go to university, I went to another college and did an NVQ. I'm working in retail cuz it suits me and most of the time, cept when I have to deal with cretins like you, I like it.
                              People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                              My DeviantArt.

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