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WTF?
"Hi! Thanks for calling [auto parts store], how can I help you?"
"Finally! You're fucking open. I've been calling for the past 30 minutes. I'll call you back when I know what I need.<click>"
And...you've been calling for a half hour before we open and bitch me out when we finally open at our normal hours and getting totally upset...all the while being clueless about what parts you need for your car. Enjoy that ulcer you twat.
Talking out their ass
This one isn't sucky but it was interesting. Woman comes in asking about how much a smog pump on her truck costs. I quote her a price and she says "It's only that much? Wow!" then informs me that her garage told her that "We're not sure what that is, but it'll cost $270 to fix."
$270 to fix something you don't know what the hell it is? Time to find a new garage or keep doing what you're doing...doing it yourself. At least that way you're not ricking getting ripped off...unless you're like Sybil or something.
Well why the fuck don't you carry that part!
Customer calls in asking for a part for a 2007 vehicle and it's a part we don't carry. It's one of those "special" parts that you can only get at a dealer if you hand over several thousands of dollars, sacrifice small animals to pagan gods, sell your youngest child to the gypsy's, and perform fellatio on the parts manager.
Customer then tells me the title of this segment. Here's what I wish I could tell him
"Why don't I carry that part? Because I'm a rotten bastard and I relish the thought of taking one more SUV off the road to save the rest of the drivers your 'I drive a SUV therefore I am a God among men and you should bow down to my awesomeness' attitude. May your SUV rust in the deepest bowels of hell"
Why is your price so high?
Actually I looked. Online, at the competitors, the dealerships, etc...This is the cheapest master cylinder you are EVER going to find. Yes it is cheaper online, but you're going to pay $8 for shipping or you can get it from us for only a dollar more than the online price at "Bob's Big Budget Car Parts". Your choice Bucky $31 from us or $38 from them.
Oh and did I mention that we can put it in your hands today and not wait a week to have it shipped from New Mexico?
Jackass
Why are your prices so low
I swear there is no pleasing some people. Our parts are so low because we want to crush our competitors and to see them fleeing before our awesomeness.
Actually our prices are low since we use remanufactured parts. If you want a new part I'll be glad to sell you one and watch you get anally violated by the parts manufacturer for the cost of a new part with a year warranty instead of buying the cheaper re-man part with the lifetime warranty. Can you squeal purty for the manufacturer? They like that. Oh and I'd advise against resisting...that's foreplay for them.
That's all for now...
Mongo
"Hi! Thanks for calling [auto parts store], how can I help you?"
"Finally! You're fucking open. I've been calling for the past 30 minutes. I'll call you back when I know what I need.<click>"
And...you've been calling for a half hour before we open and bitch me out when we finally open at our normal hours and getting totally upset...all the while being clueless about what parts you need for your car. Enjoy that ulcer you twat.
Talking out their ass
This one isn't sucky but it was interesting. Woman comes in asking about how much a smog pump on her truck costs. I quote her a price and she says "It's only that much? Wow!" then informs me that her garage told her that "We're not sure what that is, but it'll cost $270 to fix."
$270 to fix something you don't know what the hell it is? Time to find a new garage or keep doing what you're doing...doing it yourself. At least that way you're not ricking getting ripped off...unless you're like Sybil or something.
Well why the fuck don't you carry that part!
Customer calls in asking for a part for a 2007 vehicle and it's a part we don't carry. It's one of those "special" parts that you can only get at a dealer if you hand over several thousands of dollars, sacrifice small animals to pagan gods, sell your youngest child to the gypsy's, and perform fellatio on the parts manager.
Customer then tells me the title of this segment. Here's what I wish I could tell him
"Why don't I carry that part? Because I'm a rotten bastard and I relish the thought of taking one more SUV off the road to save the rest of the drivers your 'I drive a SUV therefore I am a God among men and you should bow down to my awesomeness' attitude. May your SUV rust in the deepest bowels of hell"
Why is your price so high?
Actually I looked. Online, at the competitors, the dealerships, etc...This is the cheapest master cylinder you are EVER going to find. Yes it is cheaper online, but you're going to pay $8 for shipping or you can get it from us for only a dollar more than the online price at "Bob's Big Budget Car Parts". Your choice Bucky $31 from us or $38 from them.
Oh and did I mention that we can put it in your hands today and not wait a week to have it shipped from New Mexico?
Jackass
Why are your prices so low
I swear there is no pleasing some people. Our parts are so low because we want to crush our competitors and to see them fleeing before our awesomeness.
Actually our prices are low since we use remanufactured parts. If you want a new part I'll be glad to sell you one and watch you get anally violated by the parts manufacturer for the cost of a new part with a year warranty instead of buying the cheaper re-man part with the lifetime warranty. Can you squeal purty for the manufacturer? They like that. Oh and I'd advise against resisting...that's foreplay for them.
That's all for now...
Mongo
AND I know that Conan was just ripping off Temujin (Genghiz Khan) with that quote. Oh dear. *goes to peer in mirror looking for grey hairs*
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