Oh just call it a damned layoff!

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

So we got word this week that corporate has decided to "shift priorities" in some areas and as such a "focused reorganization" of our work group will be necessary (We have groups of centers that are managed by a single person, kind of like a regional manager over a group of retail stores). The particular team I'm involved with is safe (consistently bringing in high scores does have its benefits).

In other words: Layoffs are coming.

But of course they can't say that...or they don't want to.

Instead they call it things like "restructuring", "downsizing", "rightsizing", "maximizing efficiency", "streamlining" and my personal favorite: "workforce realignment".

But why??? I'm sure some well paid psychologists have told management approaching things this way is better than actually using the word "layoff" but come on, impending job losses, no matter how you slice it, are always a morale killer.

So how about treating us like adults and just telling it like it is for a change?

[evilhomer]

You're giving yourself too much credit. Do you seriously believe that they do this for the worker's benefit? It's all about image. Company's that are laying people off are in trouble. They use these phrases to avoid panic and make it appear like it really is just a "restructuring".

[eltf177]

And especially to avoid panic. Then when the next round hits THEN the panic begins...

[csquared]

It is all PR. They are selling this to the stock holders, not the live stock employees.

[Swordsman422]

Many years ago, I saw a newspaper cartoon that ended up being one of my favorites when exemplifying how upper management thinks and operates.

The image is a conference table full of suits sitting on the deck of an enormous galley. The galley has two pathetic oars attempting to propel the massive ship. The suit at the head of the table says to the others "we need to find why we aren't making any progress."

When a company is in trouble, the people at the top will cut the salaries of and/or release the workforce at the bottom in an effort to preserve their own incomes, which in a lot of cases are far and away more than is required to live. And often in the case of a renewed upward trend, the overhead will be kept low by keeping those cut salaries.

Others are right in calling the terminology selling to the stockholders. To simplify a lot of economics, stocks help generate capitol, so the happy stockholders will keep their funds invested in the company, so the company can stay in operation. The guys at the helm and the folks who keep them there are the ones that must be kept happy, to the detriment of all others.

We in my industry get to live with the term "furlough," which is a lot like being in limbo. "We can't pay you, but don't go anywhere else because we might call you back at any time." Furloughs, even if only a few months, are a real killer for seniority. Five months of lost flight hours can delay promotions for years sometimes, and if you manage to get a job at another airline in the meantime, you can start back at the bottom of the ladder again with the new company. I have heard of guys on furlough just saying fuck it to their aviation careers and going back to school to do something else. Fortunately there isn't much of a risk of that happening lately. Everyone but the big three are desperate for ATP ticketed flight crews. The 2nd tier and regionals are suffering from such manpower shortages that a few are actually shuttering, but hours go where the money is, and if an First Officer discovers that he can start with a 2nd tier making the kind of money he'd be making in 5 years at the regional he's with, he'll absolutely make the jump.

[WishfulSpirit]

Reminds me of the scene in the Emperor's New Groove where Kuzco cans Yzma (darn funny movie if you need something to lift your spirits with what's going on at work, btw). A brilliant example of corporate-speak / joke for mom and dad in a kid's movie.

Kuzco:
Oh, and by the way, you're fired.

Yzma:
Fired? W-W-What do you mean, "fired"?

Kuzco:
Um, how else can I say it? "You're being let go." "Your department's being downsized." "You're part of an outplacement." "We're going in a different direction." "We're not picking up your option." Take your pick. I got more.

[mjr]

"downsizing", "rightsizing"

Not to mention "happysizing", "splendidsizing", and "orgasmsizing". I saw that in a Dilbert book once and liked it.

But seriously, the word "layoffs" incites panic, as was noted earlier. Though it does (sort of) play into the company's hand. If they get workers to find new jobs, thus reducing headcount, they don't have to do layoffs.

I don't trust a whole lot of anything that comes from management when it comes to things like that. Even less so when it's packaged as corporate-speak.

[Captain Neon]

They call it crap like that to help themselves sleep at night rather than acknowledge to themselves that they have messed with people's lives. Many times, good people that came to work every day and did their jobs well.

It reminds me of people that I have worked with that claim that they have never fired anyone, and that anyone that was let go "fired themselves." It eases their consciences and they still get to think of themselves as good people.

I'm honest enough with myself and others to use the term "Fired" when I've demoted and terminated people. They may have deserved it, and gotten plenty of coaching and training to correct the situation. They may have been upset, but no one was surprised when I fired them.

[taxguykarl]

The layoff could be worse

[Pixelated]

Story I heard many many years ago: our newspaper (and all its sister papers) had been bought out by Godzilla Corporation. Mid-Level Manager was asked to tell X number of employees that they were being "downsized." He wasn't at all happy about it, but he did so.

Then he was asked to give more employees their pink slips.

Mid-Level Manager: "You're going to get me to do your dirty work and then you're going to fire me, aren't you?"

Representative of new owners: *crickets*

MLM: "I quit."

He cleared out his desk and walked out.

[Slave to the Phone]

You have to watch out for the other side...a very well known contracting/construction company was between contracts and put about a quarter of their workers on unpaid leave for 2 weeks. They held a meeting and stressed that it was only unpaid leave until the contract was renewed.

The number of people coming in to apply for food stamps because they were sure that they had lost their jobs was overwhelming to not only us food stamp and the unemployment workers but to the company's HR department.

When I called to verify termed employment, the poor lady I was speaking to begged me to tell her what to do to make the calls stop. I told her what the letter would need to say and gave her a fax number and my name so I could scan it and forward it to management.

About 20 minutes later, a lady stood in line at the front desk to hand the employer statement in and beg that we stop the calls. My co-worker agreed that the statement was just what was needed for us, but the lady insisted on talking to me and a sup.

Sup said that yes, this is what was needed to stop the calls from the food stamp side of our agency, but he wasn't sure if it would work for the unemployment side of our agency. Her expressions of dismay were slightly loud at this point, so I took a copy of the letter the that side of the building and told them what was going on. They looked it over and were happy with the info.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Well the hammer has fallen. We lost 4 mangers and around 30 phone lackeys. That was actually a little worse than what we were anticipating. The managers were done as of Friday this past week and the phone lackeys will be done 11/18 (Yes, the Friday before Thanksgiving. Great job there, corporate buttholes!).

All involved get severance pay although as you can probably guess, the managers get substantially more than the phone lackeys (tenure plays a part in this too).

A couple of the managers that got let go were REALLY well liked, as were a few of the phone lackeys, so we're all kind of bummed out heading into the Holidays.