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Does was it says on the box. This is all about how not to be a Sucky Customer, and get good service in mine, and many other stores. You may think this is all basic information, but you'd be vastly overestimating the critical thinking skills of..well, most customers.
In General:
-The service you get in store is often a reflection of how you treat the staff. If you're hostile, rude, impatient or downright painful to deal with you won't get good service. You won't get bad service, because we're goddamn professionals, but you're gonna miss out on a lot. For instance, if you come up with a damaged item, normally $167, and you're an asshole, expect to get around $7 off, unless it's the last in stock. Then you might get it for $150. Be nice, and I'll give it to you for $120. Last in stock and damaged? How bout $100, awesome customer? Although I may look like a regular cashier, I'm a couple of levels higher than them and can authorize that sort of thing (depending on a few variables and such). But you'll never know that if you're making me want to slap you one.
-Practice good hygiene. Ours is not a fancy store, but for the love of god, do not walk in smelling like you've been marinading in your own bodily fluids for the last six weeks. Brush your teeth, wash yourself, and wear clean clothes that morning. Deodorant will help. You can be pleasant as hell, but if you smell like a drain, everyone's going to be too busy trying to avoid you to find out. Having said that, some people get a pass. Those who have been working all day as trades people, or in any physical job and needed to come in for something. Parents to young kids are forgiven certain smells, cause you can't always control where your three year old decides to barf. Ect.
-The staff are there to work. They really, really don't appreciate you trying to hit on them when they're working. You flatter us, but we have shit to do here. Either wait till we're quiet, or find somewhere else to quest for affection. Please also understand, many of us have a normal personality and a retail personality. The personality you're enjoying at work may be totally different to who we actually are a people. Finally, learn to take disinterest with dignity. If we're not interested in talking or actively saying "please give me your number/FB details so I can talk to you more about this," then the person you are talking to probably does not want to date you. We're not a captive dating pool, and you're not that damn special.
-The staff cannot always be smiling. You are going to see us rushed, stressed, and at times, irritated or downright mad. This is because we're human. Jumping in to tell us to smile, or cheer up, or getting mad because your idea of what a good staff member looks like is not meshing well with reality is just going to make us want to kick you in the shins. Get some perspective, I'm sure you have terrible days at work too.
-Humour is subjective, and some jokes should not be made in public. Particularly if they're horrifyingly racist, sexist or discriminatory. You might not mean what you're saying, but we don't know you, so we don't know what you're like. We don't always know you're kidding, and you're acting in an offensive manner, please just don't. On a minor(ish) note, please no more jokes about "19.95? What a good year!" or "it doesn't scan? Must be free!" They're not offensive, but we're goddamn tired of them. We hear them, without fail, EVERY. SINGLE. GODDAMN. DAY.
-In the manner of the above, avoid religious or political discussions at the registers/in the aisle with those serving you. These issues are contentious, and people get weird about them. There's a good chance someone's gonna walk away from this one angry, and it could go either way. Save yourself the trouble.
-Watch what your kids are doing. This is a store, not a daycare. The staff can range from good with kids to downright uncomfortable around them, and since they're there doing their actual jobs, they don't have time to mind your children. Please don't drag them in here tired and miserable and throwing tantrums and destroying displays and then ignore them. You might have learned to block out the high pitched screaming of an overexcited pre-schooler, but we haven't. Goddamn.
Nursery Customers
-Our cashiers are not horticulturalists. They know nothing about plants. No, that's not terrible, as their job is to take you through the checkout. Please direct your questions to the two horticulturalists in store, every day, who went through several years of training to actually be able to know what the hell they're talking about.
-Horticulturalists are in 9-5. Business hours. Do not show up at 8pm to ask us how your lemon tree should be looking, because nobody here knows. We get that you work, but they do these hours every day. We have five of them on staff for a reason.
-Do some basic research. Asking a few questions is cool. Asking us to basically fix your entire garden when you don't even know what's wrong is not. Google is your friend here.
-Stop pulling flowers off the plants or cutting samples off for grafting. This is a nursery, we want to sell them. We can't do that if they look manky and manhandled. Also, why the hell would we let you cut grafting samples off? Plant store not plant library.
-Lawn goes green end up.I know it's a dumb warning but we wouldn't have to say that if someone hadn't made the mistake and then stormed in for the worlds most embarrassing "no you're not getting a refund" showdown.
Paint Customers
-Yes, the spraypaint and glue cages are locked. People abuse these substances, and substance abusers are often prone to stealing things. Therefor, you will have to wait patiently while we get the key.
-Please have some idea of the colour you're looking for. The staff mix and match paint colours, they are not interior designers, and have no interest in helping you decide what shade of blue will go best with your throw rug.
-The paint will be slightly different to how it looks in the pot. Do not panic and yell about this. You will look stupid when someone has to explain this to you again. You know, like they did before they started mixing.
-If you painted outside the day before it rained, your paint will fall off. This is not the paints fault. It is not refund worthy. Especially not if it was during the middle of winter and you already had a weather forecast of "it's gonna be raining more often than a pregnant lady pees!"
-We refund if your paint was mistinted. We can also retint it to correct colour. We won't refund it if you got it tinted to the specific colour you asked and you changed your mind.
Trade Customers
-The drive in operates between 7am to 5pm. That's plenty of time to get your stuff done, and we will not be making exceptions for you.
-The cutting machines, forklifting service and other noisy things are 9am to 5pm. We have noise regulations here, and angry residents on the other side of our building who will report us for so much as yelling too loud in store. You're not getting these things done outside of those hours.
-Please know what you've loaded into your car before you come to pay for it. I have no psychic powers. Telling me you have 20 bags of cement doesn't help when I work in a store with over 30 different types of cement.
-I'm not charging things to your companies account unless you have your purchase order and account card, plus whatever other security measure your company requested we put in place. No exceptions. I will call your boss to get authorization if you fail to provide these, and I don't care if you're only buying one 50c washer. I don't care if another store didn't ask. I'm asking, those are the rules, and I'm not getting my butt handed to me by credit services.
-If you don't have an account with us, you're not doing orders at my desk. Take it to the Orders desk we have set up for retail customers.
-If you have problems with your account, or want to know why your account is being denied, or want to know if you forgot to pay a bill, CALL THE CREDIT DEPARTMENT. I have no access to your financial records.
-Do not ignore me in the hopes my male coworker will answer your questions instead. Only one of them knows anything about the ordering system, and he's not always in on the same days I am. If I cannot answer your questions about products in store, I will get the specific person you need to help you, and it's going to be a lot faster than randomly hoping to wander into them.
-Yelling at me isn't intimidating, and I have full license from my boss to be a sarcastic little cow to you if you chose to take that path. I might look young and small and easily intimidated, but I am the last person you want to try that with. You know, since I can access a lot of your company info, and I will call your boss to explain why you're now banned from our store. You're the boss? Cool. Antisocial behavior is not tolerated in our family friendly store, and since you're now banned, enjoy having to take your account to another store, and explaining to every single employee of yours why they no longer get a discount card here.
By keeping these points in mind when you go to shop at the store, I can pretty much guarantee you will hit awesome customer status. Will you screw up? Probably on occasion, we're all human and we ALL screw up. But if you're trying to follow these rules, we can usually find ways to accommodate you and make your shopping experience so much easier.
In General:
-The service you get in store is often a reflection of how you treat the staff. If you're hostile, rude, impatient or downright painful to deal with you won't get good service. You won't get bad service, because we're goddamn professionals, but you're gonna miss out on a lot. For instance, if you come up with a damaged item, normally $167, and you're an asshole, expect to get around $7 off, unless it's the last in stock. Then you might get it for $150. Be nice, and I'll give it to you for $120. Last in stock and damaged? How bout $100, awesome customer? Although I may look like a regular cashier, I'm a couple of levels higher than them and can authorize that sort of thing (depending on a few variables and such). But you'll never know that if you're making me want to slap you one.
-Practice good hygiene. Ours is not a fancy store, but for the love of god, do not walk in smelling like you've been marinading in your own bodily fluids for the last six weeks. Brush your teeth, wash yourself, and wear clean clothes that morning. Deodorant will help. You can be pleasant as hell, but if you smell like a drain, everyone's going to be too busy trying to avoid you to find out. Having said that, some people get a pass. Those who have been working all day as trades people, or in any physical job and needed to come in for something. Parents to young kids are forgiven certain smells, cause you can't always control where your three year old decides to barf. Ect.
-The staff are there to work. They really, really don't appreciate you trying to hit on them when they're working. You flatter us, but we have shit to do here. Either wait till we're quiet, or find somewhere else to quest for affection. Please also understand, many of us have a normal personality and a retail personality. The personality you're enjoying at work may be totally different to who we actually are a people. Finally, learn to take disinterest with dignity. If we're not interested in talking or actively saying "please give me your number/FB details so I can talk to you more about this," then the person you are talking to probably does not want to date you. We're not a captive dating pool, and you're not that damn special.
-The staff cannot always be smiling. You are going to see us rushed, stressed, and at times, irritated or downright mad. This is because we're human. Jumping in to tell us to smile, or cheer up, or getting mad because your idea of what a good staff member looks like is not meshing well with reality is just going to make us want to kick you in the shins. Get some perspective, I'm sure you have terrible days at work too.
-Humour is subjective, and some jokes should not be made in public. Particularly if they're horrifyingly racist, sexist or discriminatory. You might not mean what you're saying, but we don't know you, so we don't know what you're like. We don't always know you're kidding, and you're acting in an offensive manner, please just don't. On a minor(ish) note, please no more jokes about "19.95? What a good year!" or "it doesn't scan? Must be free!" They're not offensive, but we're goddamn tired of them. We hear them, without fail, EVERY. SINGLE. GODDAMN. DAY.
-In the manner of the above, avoid religious or political discussions at the registers/in the aisle with those serving you. These issues are contentious, and people get weird about them. There's a good chance someone's gonna walk away from this one angry, and it could go either way. Save yourself the trouble.
-Watch what your kids are doing. This is a store, not a daycare. The staff can range from good with kids to downright uncomfortable around them, and since they're there doing their actual jobs, they don't have time to mind your children. Please don't drag them in here tired and miserable and throwing tantrums and destroying displays and then ignore them. You might have learned to block out the high pitched screaming of an overexcited pre-schooler, but we haven't. Goddamn.
Nursery Customers
-Our cashiers are not horticulturalists. They know nothing about plants. No, that's not terrible, as their job is to take you through the checkout. Please direct your questions to the two horticulturalists in store, every day, who went through several years of training to actually be able to know what the hell they're talking about.
-Horticulturalists are in 9-5. Business hours. Do not show up at 8pm to ask us how your lemon tree should be looking, because nobody here knows. We get that you work, but they do these hours every day. We have five of them on staff for a reason.
-Do some basic research. Asking a few questions is cool. Asking us to basically fix your entire garden when you don't even know what's wrong is not. Google is your friend here.
-Stop pulling flowers off the plants or cutting samples off for grafting. This is a nursery, we want to sell them. We can't do that if they look manky and manhandled. Also, why the hell would we let you cut grafting samples off? Plant store not plant library.
-Lawn goes green end up.I know it's a dumb warning but we wouldn't have to say that if someone hadn't made the mistake and then stormed in for the worlds most embarrassing "no you're not getting a refund" showdown.
Paint Customers
-Yes, the spraypaint and glue cages are locked. People abuse these substances, and substance abusers are often prone to stealing things. Therefor, you will have to wait patiently while we get the key.
-Please have some idea of the colour you're looking for. The staff mix and match paint colours, they are not interior designers, and have no interest in helping you decide what shade of blue will go best with your throw rug.
-The paint will be slightly different to how it looks in the pot. Do not panic and yell about this. You will look stupid when someone has to explain this to you again. You know, like they did before they started mixing.
-If you painted outside the day before it rained, your paint will fall off. This is not the paints fault. It is not refund worthy. Especially not if it was during the middle of winter and you already had a weather forecast of "it's gonna be raining more often than a pregnant lady pees!"
-We refund if your paint was mistinted. We can also retint it to correct colour. We won't refund it if you got it tinted to the specific colour you asked and you changed your mind.
Trade Customers
-The drive in operates between 7am to 5pm. That's plenty of time to get your stuff done, and we will not be making exceptions for you.
-The cutting machines, forklifting service and other noisy things are 9am to 5pm. We have noise regulations here, and angry residents on the other side of our building who will report us for so much as yelling too loud in store. You're not getting these things done outside of those hours.
-Please know what you've loaded into your car before you come to pay for it. I have no psychic powers. Telling me you have 20 bags of cement doesn't help when I work in a store with over 30 different types of cement.
-I'm not charging things to your companies account unless you have your purchase order and account card, plus whatever other security measure your company requested we put in place. No exceptions. I will call your boss to get authorization if you fail to provide these, and I don't care if you're only buying one 50c washer. I don't care if another store didn't ask. I'm asking, those are the rules, and I'm not getting my butt handed to me by credit services.
-If you don't have an account with us, you're not doing orders at my desk. Take it to the Orders desk we have set up for retail customers.
-If you have problems with your account, or want to know why your account is being denied, or want to know if you forgot to pay a bill, CALL THE CREDIT DEPARTMENT. I have no access to your financial records.
-Do not ignore me in the hopes my male coworker will answer your questions instead. Only one of them knows anything about the ordering system, and he's not always in on the same days I am. If I cannot answer your questions about products in store, I will get the specific person you need to help you, and it's going to be a lot faster than randomly hoping to wander into them.
-Yelling at me isn't intimidating, and I have full license from my boss to be a sarcastic little cow to you if you chose to take that path. I might look young and small and easily intimidated, but I am the last person you want to try that with. You know, since I can access a lot of your company info, and I will call your boss to explain why you're now banned from our store. You're the boss? Cool. Antisocial behavior is not tolerated in our family friendly store, and since you're now banned, enjoy having to take your account to another store, and explaining to every single employee of yours why they no longer get a discount card here.
By keeping these points in mind when you go to shop at the store, I can pretty much guarantee you will hit awesome customer status. Will you screw up? Probably on occasion, we're all human and we ALL screw up. But if you're trying to follow these rules, we can usually find ways to accommodate you and make your shopping experience so much easier.
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