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  • "What's wrong with her? Why isn't she screaming?"

    Or, "Why doesn't she behave more like a female?"

    Thank you, Kitten in the Box, for inspiring me to share.

    As some of you may realize, I'm an "assistant manager" at one of the major theme parks in the South.

    So, last week my partner for the night and I walk into one of our shops. There's a lizard near the register counter, with a "Princess" shooing it with her feet. I walk over and have the Princess let me handle it, and as she backs off she almost squishes the lizard (it decided to run under her sneaker!).

    I reach down to grab it and it hops on my shoe. As I begin to move out the door the lizard starts climbing my leg! I wrap my skirt around my leg before the lizard clibms any higher, and I hobble towards the door.

    From the peanut gallery comes a rallying cry: "What's wrong with her? Why isn't she screaming!!!" in this panicked/horrified voice.

    I finish giving the lizard a ride to the bushes outside and wander back into the shop, where I proceed to approach my coworkers and "scream" in terror and ask, "Was that better?" and "Who made the comment?"

    "Oh, it was a guest."

    So there's a guest out there who can't comprehend the fact that all females are not equal.

  • #2
    ....

    I suspect I terrorized her predecessors with the tiny pinching crabs one finds at the beach when we visited for a field trip in middle school. I never actually chased or harassed people, but if they were nearby, I'd happily show off my catches.

    ^-.-^
    Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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    • #3
      Well, I would say that they're all equal, they're just not alike. As Madeleine L'Engle said in A Wrinkle in Time, "Like and equal are not the same at all!"

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      • #4
        awww, i love lizards!! oh wait, i'm a girl too. so should i be screaming about the lizard tattoo on my back?
        there's some people with issues that medication, therapy or a baseball bat just can't cure

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        • #5
          Wow, that lizard tried to get fresh! And didn't even take you out for dinner beforehand...what kind of girl did he think you were anyway?

          yeah, I loves me some reptiles. and bats. I should surrender my girl card then...
          The report button - not just for decoration

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          • #6
            I think lizards are cute.
            "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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            • #7
              One of the co-workers should have asked her, "How come you're screaming? It's a lizard, not an alligator."

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              • #8
                Quoth iradney View Post
                Wow, that lizard tried to get fresh! And didn't even take you out for dinner beforehand...what kind of girl did he think you were anyway?

                yeah, I loves me some reptiles. and bats. I should surrender my girl card then...
                sounds like he was a smooth talking lounge lizard

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                • #9
                  Quoth AyreBiskits View Post
                  awww, i love lizards!! oh wait, i'm a girl too. so should i be screaming about the lizard tattoo on my back?
                  Wait a second...are you sure it's not a dragon?!
                  It's floating wicker propelled by fire!

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                  • #10
                    I like lizards and snakes.... and my roommate and I have started naming the bats that hang out around our college. I guess we should both turn in our girl cards - I will do so before my trip to the zoo tomorrow where I will frolic through the reptile house.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth iradney View Post
                      yeah, I loves me some reptiles. and bats.
                      Same here.

                      We used to have lizards on our house in Phoenix. Don't know what species, but they were about 3-5" long and baby powder pink (yes, pink. I think they were a family of albinos.) They were really cute and kept the bug population down. Sadly, they went away when we painted the exterior of the house.

                      No lizards where we live now, but a spider has built a very pretty web on the front porch. It's staying outdoors and keeping the bugs at bay, it's earned its keep. And it's a cheap Halloween decoration!

                      No, I'm not screaming and crying and demanding a man to kill it. Guess I do need to surrender my girl card as well!
                      I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                      My LiveJournal
                      A page we can all agree with!

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Andara Bledin View Post
                        I never actually chased or harassed people, but if they were nearby, I'd happily show off my catches.
                        Miss Jazzy does that, but she always tells the person that she's showing: "It's not going to hurt you as long as you don't poke it. " OR "Don't worry, it's dead." I better tell her that she's not a girl, since she catches house geckoes and stores them in her sleeves during winter. You know, to help warm them up. Better hand my card in too, since I take the lost lizards back outside and let them go somewhere safe.
                        Don't tempt pixies, it never ends well.

                        Avatar created by the lovely Eisa.

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                        • #13
                          I'm not fond of spiders, but as long as they're not on me, I tolerate them. Except the one time when we found a spider the size of a saucer in our house. I shat myself, screamed like a girl and ran into the bedroom and cowered behind the door while TTO caught it and put it outside. UUUUUUGH.

                          When I was little, my parents had a potted tree in their bedroom, and every summer, a family of chameleons would come and hang out on that plant was awesome!
                          The report button - not just for decoration

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                          • #14
                            I like reptiles. *points to username*

                            I do not like bugs and spiders though.

                            *pulls out girl card* Someone need to take this?
                            Driver Picks the Music, Shotgun Shuts His Cakehole.
                            Supernatural 9-13-05 to forever

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                            • #15
                              <hangs onto her girl card>

                              If its a species that's potentially venomous, my heart rate goes up until I've positively identified it as 'safe to humans' (or if my pets are nearby, 'safe to canines/felines').

                              If it's a furry caterpillar, it's automatically in my 'DO NOT WANT' list. Probably because many Australian furry caterpillars exude something that seriously irritates my skin.

                              My DO NOT WANT list includes things that are not dangerously venomous, such as bees and wasps. (no 'killer bees' here, yet, cross fingers. and I'm not known to be allergic to bees.)

                              Of the harmless insects, arachnids, reptiles, amphibians, and sub-genres of Animalia generally considered to be 'bugs'; I don't tolerate any of them inside unless they're specifically important to my wife or husband. If I encounter them in the garden, they may stay.

                              But I don't have to like them.

                              (Unless they're blue-tongue lizards. Or frill-necks. Or bearded dragons. They're cute.)
                              Seshat's self-help guide:
                              1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
                              2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
                              3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
                              4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

                              "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

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