The brother chronicles

[EricKei]

Needless to say, my brother is a maniac on the road. The fact he has not killed anyone surprises the hell out of me. His main problem is he has a problem with stopping.

My brother used to be this bad, especially with brakes. His recklessness was partially due to his having amblyopia (Lazy Eye), and parttially due to being a pizza driver for several years --- he was one of those small % of pizza dudes that give the rest of us a bad name >_< Fortunately, he's gotten MUCH better since then.

One small difference tho -- for most of his worst years, he drove little bitty deathtrap cars like a Geo Metro. Small enough that, one time, he was practically tailgating an 18-WHEELER...The car began shuddering just from the backwash, and he slowed down when I commented that the Geo was afraid of the higher automotive life-form ~_~

Is "America's Worst Driver" still on? You should nominate him.

Yes, yes it is ^_^

Does he actually have his license? How in the nine hells of Zandru did he manage to pass his exam?!

There was once a DMV around here that was notorious for requiring nothing more complex than "drive around the block once and park the car" as the ENTIRE driving portion of the exam ...

[Amusement Gal]

I'm gonna be visiting that exact state and city in a couple months. Keep him off the road! It's bad enough that my Valley Girl sister has a license...

[Rena_Muffin]

Don't remove the trailer hitch. Add a great big saw to it. If someone gets too close to you without good reason, flip a switch and turn the saw on.

Kristev, I like the way you think. I wonder how much giant saws go for?

Also, I've tried the slowing down thing when they start tailgating me. When I was first driving I tried to stay off the highway because I always saw people driving crazy on them and being a new driver, I didn't feel too comfortable with my skills. Then I learned taking the highway shaved 15 minutes off my drive to school, so I began taking it more often.

One day I'm driving and there's a truck that follows me. He's basically pulling the same thing the camry did, following so close behind that he probably could have commented on the fine print on my bumper sticker. My dad does the slow down trick sometimes to tick off tailgaters so I figured I'd try it. It was kind early in the morning too, the morning rush here hadn't begun yet really. Well, I slowed to ten miles under the speed limit and this truck follows behind me for another two or three minutes before revving his engine, loudly, and then slamming on his horn, nearly causing me to slam on the breaks since I'm not too fond of loud noises and it was kinda early in the morning. Two seconds later he passed me and made sure to show me what he felt of the gesture by flipping me the bird.
At this point I feel the need to explain the something my driver's ed teacher taught me, if someone calls you number one (flips the bird), you thank them for saying you're so awesome by telling them they're number two (give a peace sign). I even blew him a kiss and winked. To this day, I've never seen such a confused look on another human being's face.

[Rena_Muffin]

I'm gonna be visiting that exact state and city in a couple months. Keep him off the road! It's bad enough that my Valley Girl sister has a license...

I'll do my best.

[Daemonmonkey]

I even blew him a kiss and winked.

I think I will do that to somebody that flips me the finger...

Especially as I'm a guy, and most of these b*ards are male... (No, I'm not gay )

[Kristev]

I'll mention that to my brother. He may find it useful.

[Pagan]

I generally just take my foot off the gas when that happens and slow down until the person passes me in disgust. Passive aggressive? Hell yes, but it works, and it doesn't stress me out

Brake checks are more fun....especially when you can see their face in your rearview.

There was once a DMV around here that was notorious for requiring nothing more complex than "drive around the block once and park the car" as the ENTIRE driving portion of the exam ...

I took Driver's Ed as a class in high school. This was pretty much my driving test, given to me by one of Las Cruces' finest. He also told me, "Go ahead and squeeze around the car in front of you" to make a right turn....

Despite that, in 25 years of driving, I've only had one wreck and that was completely and utterly the other driver's fault.

[Rena_Muffin]

I think I will do that to somebody that flips me the finger...

Especially as I'm a guy, and most of these b*ards are male... (No, I'm not gay )

Please videotape the results.

[Kogarashi]

Rena, I love your driving instructor's response to being flipped off. I'll have to remember that one.

Despite that, in 25 years of driving, I've only had one wreck that was completely and utterly the other driver's fault.

So the rest were your fault?

I'm kidding, I'm kidding! ::ducks::

[Pagan]

So the rest were your fault?

I'm kidding, I'm kidding! ::ducks::

Oh, bite me! Brat! That's what I get for leaving a word out. Should have said "I've only had one wreck and that...."

[Mikkel]

Should have said "I've only had one wreck and that...."

A well placed comma would have done the trick and saved three characters for something else .

[SuperDan]

A well placed comma would have done the trick and saved three characters for something else .

"Lets eat, Grandma!" or "Lets eat Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives!

[Rena_Muffin]

The brother chronicles, a new entry...

So sadly, there is something to add here. This is a bit of a long story, but yet again, my brother did something worth mentioning

For the last week and a half, brother seemed to make a lot of improvement. It seemed he somehow became enlightened in how to drive. He was improving by leaps and bounds. He stopped at crosswalks even when the lights weren't flashing, would slow down before stopping at redlights and stop signs, basically doing all of the opposite of his usual habits. I had hope, and then today.

This was my last day of finals for school. Brother had to drive to school because we were running late (brother and I have a hard time waking up in the morning, little family quirk) so he had to drop me off quickly before going to park the car while I ran to my class. The drive to school went well, and the finals did too, it was looking to be a nice day. I was in a good mood, granted exhausted from all the studying, so I let my brother drive. On the way back brother's driving was nice, until we got to the highway.

The trip from school to back is about fifteen minutes, with the highway portion taking about six minutes. Still, brother likes to speed, so he goes into the far left lane. I do not mind this, we left earlier so there's not much traffic. Later, when our exit is coming up, brother turns on his signal merge right. He starts going into the middle lane when I see another car moving from the right lane into the middle lane at the same time. The guy is already half in the lane so I decide to I tell brother to hold off. Does he listen?

Does he ever listen?

He pulls into the middle lane nearly hitting the van. The van screeches back into the right lane and I start screaming, for which brother yells at me for being a drama queen. The van later passes us and gives brother the finger, to which brother returns the finger since his driver's ed teacher I guess never taught his the "you're number 2" rule. Brother rants about the sucky driver for a few minutes and I just sit back and growl, since I know mom and dad won't do anything.

I really need to get the money to invest in the dashboard camera since dealing with brother has been leaving me feeling like this

[Daemonmonkey]

Please videotape the results.

Can't promise, tends to happen rather quickly...

[ShadowBall]

Sounds like the opposite of my mother...she yells at me when I drive normally. The speed limit is too fast for me to drive, so she has me go 5-15 miles under it. Start braking for that stop sign when I'm three blocks away from it. Drive with my left-side tires on the yellow line or a little over. Don't drive with one hand. Drive with your hands in a certain position. You're not experienced enough to drive on the highway.

So, with me, it's either be a bad driver like my mother or get verbally abused...which makes me nervous and more prone to be a reckless driver.

Your brother is a special breed of bad driver, though. I am also amazed that he hasn't had an accident yet judging by his disregard for...well...everything in terms of driving. Hopefully when he rear-ends someone, you won't be in the car and the other driver will knock his ass out. I don't usually condone violence, but getting the crap kicked out of him by an angry driver might make him be more careful.