A few rules to follow when shopping at your local auto parts store.

[Dave in MD]

• 1) If you are not working on the car yourself, walk away.

• a) If your “mechanic” sends you to buy parts for him or her, find a new mechanic.
• b) If your “mechanic” works in a parking lot he or she is not a mechanic, they are what we call a parts slapper.
• c) If you have to pay your “mechanic” in drugs, well that is a good sign to find a different mechanic.

• 2) Know the year, make and model of your car. Also know what engine and transmission you have. Do your research ahead of time.

• a) Don’t get upset if you are asked to step away from the counter while you call someone to figure out what you drive.
• b) Don’t tell me you have the “regular one” when asked the sub model.
• c) When asked the engine don’t tell me, “it has two pipes coming out the back”.
• d) Don’t just tell me it’s a coupe, I need the model.
• e) Know the difference between AWD and 4WD.
• f) If you don’t know what kind of transmission you have, you have an automatic.
• g) If I ask you if you have a CVT transmission and you don’t know, we are probably done till you figure that out.
• h) If I ask you, “do you have 4-wheel ABS?” Don’t reply “yes, it’s 4-wheel drive”.

• 3) Listen to what I am asking you.

• a) When I say “I know you are looking for front brakes, but what kind of rear brakes do you have? Disc or drum?” Don’t reply, “I want front brakes”.

• 4) Know what part you are here to buy.

• a) Again, don’t get upset if you are asked to step away from the counter while you call someone to figure out what you need.
• b) Don’t tell me the OBD2 code that came up during a code scan and say you need that part.
• c) There is no such thing as a “bank 1 lean” sensor.
• d) Even if you know the part number, I will still want to look it up to make sure. Many people come back complaining that “you sold me the wrong part” when they asked for a specific part number or pulled a light bulb off a hook and insisted that it was the correct one.

• 5) Understand the return policy.

• a) It is posted for you to read and is on the website. I am not required to read it to you with every sale.
• b) Claiming that since it is not printed on the receipt it is not valid will not get you anywhere.
• c) We have seen it all and will bust you on bogus returns.
• d) Have your receipt. If you don’t, we will only refund to a merchandise card. If you tell me “I gave you cash money”, I will reply “we gave you a receipt”.
• e) If you are doing a return, especially if you don’t have a receipt, I will need to see your ID. Have it on you. And yes, it needs to be your ID.
• f) We will not take back a part just because you no longer need it. If you wreck your car you can not pull the alternator, starter and what not and bring it back.

• 6) Understand the warrantee.

• a) It means that we will ensure you have a functioning part for the duration indicated.
• b) We will not replace a part just because you want a new one or because someone told you that it was bad. We are not going to defect out a succession of parts as you troubleshoot your car with them

• 7) Don’t explain why you want the cheaper part option.

• a) I don’t care. Telling me you are selling the car or sending it to auction next month doesn’t mean anything to me.

• 8) Get off your phone.

• a) Continuing your conversation on the phone disrespects me and makes the entire transaction take longer.

• 9) Have your money or payment on you.

• a) If you leave to go out to your car to get your money you will have to get back in line.
• b) Please don’t pull money out of your bra or underpants. I don’t want to handle your sweaty money.

• 10) Don’t bother telling me how something is cheaper somewhere else. Most times you aren’t correct and if you are, why are you shopping at my store?

• 11) When picking up items ordered, either instore or online orders, have your ID with you. And it must match you, and the name on the order.

• 12) Please don’t come in drunk or high. I’m not paid to have to deal with that.

• 13) If I step back from you please don’t step forward. You are either in my personal space or your BO or breath is offensive.

• 14) Lines can be long, and some customers take longer to work with than others. Please be patient.

• a) You want me to take my time with you so let me take my time with others.
• b) Not everyone that works in the store works the counter. Just because you see other people doesn’t mean “they aren’t doing anything”.
• c) Yes, I have to answer the phone as well, so don’t step to the counter before I call you and then get upset because I am on the phone.
• d) Don’t try and jump the line because you “just have a quick question”. Everyone has to wait in line.
• e) Same goes for if I am pulling a part off a floor shelf, I can’t stop and answer your long-involved question, I am working with another customer. I can give you quick directions to what aisle something is in, but that is it.
• f) If I am on the phone don’t try and talk to me, I am working with a customer. I will help you when I am finished with that customer.

• 15) Don’t steal.

• a) I don’t care that you only need one nut, that doesn’t mean you can open a pack and pocket it.

[greyblade23]

• 8) Get off your phone.

• a) Continuing your conversation on the phone disrespects me and makes the entire transaction take longer.

Of all the peeves in my menagerie, this is one of the biggest. Not only are you disrespecting the person on the other side of the counter, you're also disrespecting the person on the other side of the phone.

When I was working c-stores, I once went so far as to make a sign that said something like "I don't want to disrespect the person you're talking to. I'm ready to help you as soon as they're done talking to you." You can imagine how well that went over . I wish cell jammers were legal

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Regarding 1 A), my mechanic does do this sometimes, but it works in my case for two reasons:

1) He goes to whatever parts place online and screenshots me the EXACT thing he needs and that's the exact thing I get. No exceptions.

2) I'm not a mechanic, but I'm not a freaking idiot when it comes to cars either so I never go into a parts store looking totally confused or acting like a moron. If my mechanic wasn't clear enough, I'll step outside, call him, figure things and out go back in once we're done.

[Arcus]

[*]d) Even if you know the part number, I will still want to look it up to make sure. Many people come back complaining that “you sold me the wrong part” when they asked for a specific part number or pulled a light bulb off a hook and insisted that it was the correct one.

Just be careful with this one. I lost a transmission because the parts guy sold me the wrong vacuum modulator because his computer said my 1988 Ford Thunderbird Turbo Coupe has an AOD transmission when that was only used in the non-turbo model. Turns out that if you put an AOD part into an A4LD transmission, it will eat itself. The AOD part sticks an extra 1/4" into the transmission.

The part guy called me a liar to my face when I told him what happened. When I slapped my owner manual down on the counter and pointed to where it said the type of transmission I had, he said that was wrong and his computer was right. Then I handed him the part from my car and asked him to read the number off of it and tell me if his computer says where it should go. Only after he called Ford and asked what my car should have did he finally believe me.

The end result... His computer cost me $1200 to replace my transmission all over a $20 part.

[Rosco the Iroc]

^ LOL the one parts store did the same thing to my wife who used to work on cars as much as me. She snapped on them over outer wheel bearing for my Iroc, the listing was wrong but she took the old one and showed them the error of their ways. Later on a counter guy was arguing about something else with her, the SM walked by and told him to stop- she knows what she's talking about.

All that when I was at AZ auto parts!

Less now but I ask for the VIN it's so I can find the exact part for the car they do change due to options

*when I ask what kind of car you have "Red" is not the correct answer.


b) If your “mechanic” works in a parking lot he or she is not a mechanic, they are what we call a parts slapper.

he got out of the lot and works here now - but that's a whole other thread.

[Nunavut Pants]

• e) Know the difference between AWD and 4WD.

Sorry, I have to take exception to this. While it is absolutely necessary for the customer to know if they have AWD or if they have 4WD, knowing the actual difference between the two systems is completely unneeded.

And I'm not even sure it's necessary to know which "flavor" they have; are there any vehicles that can have either AWD or 4WD? If not, just the make and model and the notion that all four wheels can be driven by the motor should be good enough.



... Now, someone who argues with you that they have AWD in a 4WD vehicle and that 4WD is wrong (or vise-versa) can go take a long walk off a short pier.

[dalesys]

... we call a parts slapper.

Or on some of the smaller and larger islands, "... a parts wanker."

[MoonCat]

If you tell me “I gave you cash money”, I will reply “we gave you a receipt”.

I love this! Should work in any retail setting that accepts cash. Of course, they'll just argue that you didn't give them a receipt, but at least you know that you did.

[TheSHAD0W]

e) Know the difference between AWD and 4WD.

Just curious... What vehicle was it you ran into that had both AWD and 4WD as options? That'd be pretty rare.

[AkaiKitsune]

You can imagine how well that went over . I wish cell jammers were legal

Where I work at is sorta out in the middle of nowhere so the owner actually got a cell jammer and blames the inability to make calls or receive calls on the location. The clients are all too stupid to figure it out and the actual employees know and just don’t care. But then given that in this job you’re dealing with 1200lb animals that can kill you with a single misstep and tend to react in interesting and occasionally unpleasant ways to loud noises (like cellphones going off). It’s kept the injuries way down since it was started.

They aren’t technically legal here either but if the cops know they turn a blind eye to it.

[TheWolfEmperor]

Personal space. The final frontier. Do not try to explore it or I will go Vulcan on your ass.

[Nunavut Pants]

I wish cell jammers were legal

They may not be, but turning your home/office into a Faraday cage is. And it works quite well....

Of course, explaining the six rolls of fine-mesh chicken wire on your business expense reports may be a little tricky!!

[Jetfire]

They may not be, but turning your home/office into a Faraday cage is. And it works quite well....

Of course, explaining the six rolls of fine-mesh chicken wire on your business expense reports may be a little tricky!!

Just record it as a security upgrade.

Or soundproofing.

[earl colby pottinger]

Tempest

They may not be, but turning your home/office into a Faraday cage is. And it works quite well....

Of course, explaining the six rolls of fine-mesh chicken wire on your business expense reports may be a little tricky!!

Tell them you are upgrading to Tempest security rating.

See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tempest_(codename)

[Argus]

the listing was wrong

I had that happen when replacing a fender light on my previous car. Two references had different answers for the part number I needed. Fortunately, I picked the right one.

They may not be, but turning your home/office into a Faraday cage is.

Or, some buildings are already constructed that way. I had that happen at a previous job; cell phones were useless inside until they bought a cellular repeater and installed it. (And they day we had a power failure, anyone wanting to use their cell phone had to go to the picture window or outside entirely.)