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I'm a man, I can't slice bread

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  • #16
    Quoth Pagan View Post
    That is exactly what he's getting at. Which makes him a misogynistic jerk. And kind of makes one wonder just how the wife's arm got broken in the first place....
    You know, while I'm not a big fan of his, I can't help but wonder what would happen if this man said such things in front of Gordon Ramsay...

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    • #17
      Quoth PatchO'Black View Post
      I can't help but wonder what would happen if this man said such things in front of Gordon Ramsay...
      The Gord of the Kitchen: "Wha'? You say you're a man and you can't f***ing slice a loaf of bread?! Anybody can slice bread! YOU'RE NOT EVEN A F***MAN! You must be a monkey or something!"
      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
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      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
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      • #18
        Quoth Kristev View Post
        What? He can't slice bread because it doesn't bleed? How pathetic.

        Quoth Pagan View Post
        Every grocery store that has a bakery, most their loaves aren't sliced. He's had to have noticed that.
        Not likely if he normally buys only Wonder Bread, Holsum, etc., the prepackaged, presliced breads most grocery stores sell. That's probably what the man was thinking of when he assumed the bread was sliced and freaked out because it wasn't.
        I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
        My LiveJournal
        A page we can all agree with!

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        • #19
          Quoth XCashier View Post

          Not likely if he normally buys only Wonder Bread, Holsum, etc., the prepackaged, presliced breads most grocery stores sell. That's probably what the man was thinking of when he assumed the bread was sliced and freaked out because it wasn't.
          Either that or it's only the wife that picks up the bread and makes his sammiches, so he has no clue about the state of bread. If I was the wife I would've beaten him with my cast, though I'd never end up married to a neanderthal like that.
          My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
          It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

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          • #20
            Funny, it was a man who invented the bread slicer because he wanted it done just Wright (sic)
            This was one of those times where my mouth says "have a nice day" but my brain says "go step on a Lego". - RegisterAce
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            • #21
              Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
              Funny, it was a man who invented the bread slicer because he wanted it done just Wright (sic)
              Am I weird to think that home baked, uneven slices > perfect slices (of fresh baked or factory baked) ?
              My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
              It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

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              • #22
                Quoth AmbrosiaWriter View Post
                Am I weird to think that home baked, uneven slices > perfect slices...?
                Real bread is crumby!
                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                • #23
                  Quoth AmbrosiaWriter View Post
                  Am I weird to think that home baked, uneven slices > perfect slices (of fresh baked or factory baked) ?
                  I will be honest; after I bought my bread machine, I bought one of these as well to ensure even slices. Though I probably could slice it reasonably evenly without one, I prefer to use it, if only to hold the bread so I don't slice off my fingers!

                  Even without one, slicing bread is not difficult. Get serrated knife, hold bread steady on cutting board, slice slowly and evenly.
                  I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                  My LiveJournal
                  A page we can all agree with!

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                  • #24
                    Quoth EricKei View Post
                    The Gord of the Kitchen: "Wha'? You say you're a man and you can't f***ing slice a loaf of bread?! Anybody can slice bread! YOU'RE NOT EVEN A F***MAN! You must be a monkey or something!"
                    I'm pretty sure even a monkey can be trained to slice bread. Especially if you give them banana bread.


                    Quoth XCashier View Post
                    I will be honest; after I bought my bread machine, I bought one of these as well to ensure even slices. Though I probably could slice it reasonably evenly without one, I prefer to use it, if only to hold the bread so I don't slice off my fingers!

                    Even without one, slicing bread is not difficult. Get serrated knife, hold bread steady on cutting board, slice slowly and evenly.
                    or just make rolls or "monkey bread" which involve very little cutting in the first place

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                    • #25
                      Quoth XCashier View Post
                      I will be honest; after I bought my bread machine, I bought one of these as well to ensure even slices.
                      I have one of those! plus the bread machine. Plus an electric bread knife It does make slicing so much easier. And more even.
                      https://www.youtube.com/user/HedgeTV
                      Great YouTube channel check it out!

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                      • #26
                        Quoth RealUnimportant View Post
                        Funny, it was a man who invented the bread slicer because he wanted it done just Wright (sic)
                        I'll have to quote Bob and Doug MacKenzie from "Great White North" on this topic - "Take off, eh!".
                        Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

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                        • #27
                          Quoth XCashier View Post
                          I will be honest; after I bought my bread machine, I bought one of these as well to ensure even slices. Though I probably could slice it reasonably evenly without one, I prefer to use it, if only to hold the bread so I don't slice off my fingers!

                          Even without one, slicing bread is not difficult. Get serrated knife, hold bread steady on cutting board, slice slowly and evenly.
                          I can get them to be pretty damn even myself, just for some reason I like it when there is a bit of unevenness. Guess I just like the rusticness of a rough cut slice of bread.

                          Ohm nom nom nom.
                          My Writing Blog -Updated 05/06/2013
                          It's so I can get ideas out of my head, I decided to put it in a blog in case people are bored or are curious as to the (many) things in progress.

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