Call comes in from a guy upset because his iPhone wasn't working. Common enough, but this guy has a rep from Apple on the line with him as the call comes in. Also not unheard of but usually the rep from the other company just drops the customer off with me and away we go.
Not this guy.
AR (Apple Rep): Hi there! My name is Josh Smith and I'm an iPhone specialist, I have a Mr. Jones on the line. Are you there Mr. Jones?
SC: Yes, I'm here.
AR: He's been very upset with issues he's been having with his iPhone. I've sent out a replacement for him but here's the problem: He was charged $150 in data overages on his bill last month and he's convinced the problems with his phone had something to do with it. I can't prove that, but he's very insistent.
Me: I understand, I can definitely address the bill with him, now if you could--
AR: Great! I'd like you to give him a $100 credit for his troubles.
Me: (*record scratch*) Um, excuse me?
AR: I'm sorry, did the line cut out?
Me: I don't think so but it sounded like you said you wanted me to credit him $100.
AR: I did. Is that a problem?
Me: Well, yes.
SC: What the hell? WHY???
Me: I can't just put a credit on the account because someone tells me to. I need to review the charges and review the account and determine if a credit is needed.
AR: (condescendingly) Well I'm telling you it's needed.
SC: Right, you heard the man, now give me my credit!
Me: Mr. Jones, I'm more than happy to help you but I can't just hand you a credit, Josh(AR) if you'll drop off the line I promise you I will get Mr. Jones taken care of.
AR: Nope.
Me: Excuse me?
AR: I can't drop the call. Customer wants me to remain on the line until he gets his credit.
SC: DAMN RIGHT!
Me: Once again, I can't guarantee a $100 credit because I need to review the account to determine if any credit is warranted.
AR: Look, I'm vouching for the guy here. I'm telling you it's warranted. Other <Red Checkmark> reps do it for me.
Me: Well then other <Red Checkmark> reps aren't doing their job correctly. Look AR, I appreciate you going to bat for the customer and I'm sure he appreciates it too but if you could please drop off this call I promise I will take care of this.
AR: I'm sorry I can't do that. He wants me to stay.
Me:(SERIOUSLY about to lose my cool) Where is your call center located Josh?
AR: I can't tell you that.
Me: Oh? And why not?
AR: Policy. I'm not required to give it out.
Me: Okay, do you have an employee ID?
AR: Not required to give that out either.
SC: Enough of this bullshit! Can I get my credit already?
Me: Not just yet. I apologize for the delay SC but I really need AR to drop off the line before we can continue.
AR: I already told you I'm not.
Me: Either you drop off this call or this call is over.
AR: WHAT?
Me: I CANNOT discuss private account information with an unauthorized third party on the line, even if that third party is one of our business partners. You have to go before I can review the account and discuss the credit with Mr. SC.
AR: Dude, just give the guy his credit! Why must you drag this out??
SC: Yeah, come on I ain't got all day!
Me: AR, drop off this call and I will talk to the SC about the credit.
AR: Can't do it. Customer requested I stay on the line.
Me: Fine, we'll do it your way. *CLICK*
...Call SC back...
SC: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR??
Me: Because as I said previously I can NOT discuss private account information with anyone aside from you and those authorized on your account for me to do so.
SC: Fine, I authorize that guy to act on my behalf.
Me: While you can do that if you want I would strongly advise against it. Also, regardless we can't do it on three way, you'd have to have him call us directly on your behalf.
SC: OH MY GOD!! Why must you make this so hard? Just give me my fucking credit already!!
Me: I can't do that yet, not without reviewing your account. Will you give me a moment to do that?
SC: NO! I've wasted enough time on this call. Either give me the credit or I will cancel and go to your competition!
Me: Fair enough, what day do you want the cancellation effective?
SC: *CLICK*
Needless to say after this call I put together a very thorough incident report and sent it to our Fraud/Ethics team as I feel there's a good chance AR wasn't an actual Apple Rep at all. If he is, then he deserves to be out of a job or at least sternly disciplined for his actions.
I'll post an update on that if I get one.
Also after the call ended I finally did the long awaited account review on Mr. SC. Guess who got a $75 credit for data charges four weeks ago?
Not this guy.
AR (Apple Rep): Hi there! My name is Josh Smith and I'm an iPhone specialist, I have a Mr. Jones on the line. Are you there Mr. Jones?
SC: Yes, I'm here.
AR: He's been very upset with issues he's been having with his iPhone. I've sent out a replacement for him but here's the problem: He was charged $150 in data overages on his bill last month and he's convinced the problems with his phone had something to do with it. I can't prove that, but he's very insistent.
Me: I understand, I can definitely address the bill with him, now if you could--
AR: Great! I'd like you to give him a $100 credit for his troubles.
Me: (*record scratch*) Um, excuse me?
AR: I'm sorry, did the line cut out?
Me: I don't think so but it sounded like you said you wanted me to credit him $100.
AR: I did. Is that a problem?
Me: Well, yes.
SC: What the hell? WHY???
Me: I can't just put a credit on the account because someone tells me to. I need to review the charges and review the account and determine if a credit is needed.
AR: (condescendingly) Well I'm telling you it's needed.
SC: Right, you heard the man, now give me my credit!
Me: Mr. Jones, I'm more than happy to help you but I can't just hand you a credit, Josh(AR) if you'll drop off the line I promise you I will get Mr. Jones taken care of.
AR: Nope.
Me: Excuse me?
AR: I can't drop the call. Customer wants me to remain on the line until he gets his credit.
SC: DAMN RIGHT!
Me: Once again, I can't guarantee a $100 credit because I need to review the account to determine if any credit is warranted.
AR: Look, I'm vouching for the guy here. I'm telling you it's warranted. Other <Red Checkmark> reps do it for me.
Me: Well then other <Red Checkmark> reps aren't doing their job correctly. Look AR, I appreciate you going to bat for the customer and I'm sure he appreciates it too but if you could please drop off this call I promise I will take care of this.
AR: I'm sorry I can't do that. He wants me to stay.
Me:(SERIOUSLY about to lose my cool) Where is your call center located Josh?
AR: I can't tell you that.
Me: Oh? And why not?
AR: Policy. I'm not required to give it out.
Me: Okay, do you have an employee ID?
AR: Not required to give that out either.
SC: Enough of this bullshit! Can I get my credit already?
Me: Not just yet. I apologize for the delay SC but I really need AR to drop off the line before we can continue.
AR: I already told you I'm not.
Me: Either you drop off this call or this call is over.
AR: WHAT?
Me: I CANNOT discuss private account information with an unauthorized third party on the line, even if that third party is one of our business partners. You have to go before I can review the account and discuss the credit with Mr. SC.
AR: Dude, just give the guy his credit! Why must you drag this out??
SC: Yeah, come on I ain't got all day!
Me: AR, drop off this call and I will talk to the SC about the credit.
AR: Can't do it. Customer requested I stay on the line.
Me: Fine, we'll do it your way. *CLICK*
...Call SC back...
SC: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR??
Me: Because as I said previously I can NOT discuss private account information with anyone aside from you and those authorized on your account for me to do so.
SC: Fine, I authorize that guy to act on my behalf.
Me: While you can do that if you want I would strongly advise against it. Also, regardless we can't do it on three way, you'd have to have him call us directly on your behalf.
SC: OH MY GOD!! Why must you make this so hard? Just give me my fucking credit already!!
Me: I can't do that yet, not without reviewing your account. Will you give me a moment to do that?
SC: NO! I've wasted enough time on this call. Either give me the credit or I will cancel and go to your competition!
Me: Fair enough, what day do you want the cancellation effective?
SC: *CLICK*
Needless to say after this call I put together a very thorough incident report and sent it to our Fraud/Ethics team as I feel there's a good chance AR wasn't an actual Apple Rep at all. If he is, then he deserves to be out of a job or at least sternly disciplined for his actions.
I'll post an update on that if I get one.
Also after the call ended I finally did the long awaited account review on Mr. SC. Guess who got a $75 credit for data charges four weeks ago?
Comment