Things I am tired of hearing (feel free to add your own!)

[SimonF12009]

Coming in 5 minutes before I close and ~stating 'I NEED 3 phones upgraded tonight before I go on holiday in the morning!

1. On My system a single upgrade takes approx 20-30 minutes
2. I finish in 5
3. DO THE MATH

[gremcint]

"why is this on sale" from hell's heart I feel the rage build up, the bile rise in my throat and the urge to scream "BECAUSE IT'S ON SALE, THAT'S WHY, THINGS GO ON SALE, THERE'S NO CONSPIRACY, IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GARBAGE, HALF THE COMPUTERS ARE ON SALE RIGHT NOW AND THIS IS ONE OF THE ONES THAT CORPORATE CHOSE."

[Sulhythal]

do they go around at the grocery store asking random clerks how much each piece of by the-pound-fruit will cost?

Yes, yes they do.

Mine was specific to my store, I think. We had an egg shortage for some reason. There had just been a reported violation of animal treatment laws. I don't recall the details anymore. But my store ditched that supplier and went a month or two with pretty much no eggs.

"When are you going to order eggs?"

Wish I knew.

[MoonCat]

Story: Back in the 80s my sister worked for a local homeless shelter. They used to get groceries donated to them, which they would then give out once a week to the needy. One time a farmer donated something like 1500 (approx) dozen eggs. They were all given out in the weekly grocery bags. For MONTHS afterward, she would take phone calls every day: "I heard you're giving away free eggs?" It got to where a mere mention of eggs would make her want to scream

[Aria]

No eggs?!? The horror! What is breakfast without eggs?!?

[drjonah]

No eggs?!? The horror! What is breakfast without eggs?!?

Or what if the weatherman says the word 'snow'???

[XCashier]

The one I hear all the time is, "Working hard, or hardly working?"

"Dunno. Are you thinking hard or hardly thinking?"

[2gigch1]

(TV News Photog)

"At least you didn't have to go to school for that." I went to a lot of school for that.

"Don't video me!" You're in public, you have no right to demand that. However if you ask nicely I will likely honor it.

"You're not allowed to do that!" Actually I am. I know exactly what I'm allowed to do. Twenty seven years of experience and numerous seminars with company lawyers have taught me far better than you what I may and may not legally do in the pursuit of my occupation.

"I'm gonna call the cops!" Please do. I always enjoy watching the part when they tell you you're wrong. If only I could bottle it, it'd be worth millions.

"@%&^ YOU!" @%&^ you right back. My bosses allow me to defend myself.

"I could do your job!" Go on down to the station and try, buddy.

"I wanna give a shout out!" At a murder scene? I think not.

[Police officer] "You have to stand over there!" Um, crime scene tape is here, and you are allowing the public here. So no, I don't.

"You take your orders from (insert political figure / corporate entity here)!" Sorry, no, I'm not on the mailing list.

"Vultures!" If you had a clue as to how many moral decisions go into everything we do you would not believe it.

"Paparazzi!" Nope. And I don't like them either. They chase celebrities (for whom I care not) and they misbehave.

"Must be fun!" Well let's see, I start each day with no clue as to what we are covering. Most days we drive to a couple locations, shoot video, write & edit, feed and go live (multiple times) in the span of just a few hours with exact deadlines and not much room for error. I rarely eat lunch on the job. Often we have to talk to people on the worst day of their lives. Yup, barrel of laughs.


"Beats working!" Honestly, I agree with that one. Sure it's long days and hard work, but the opportunities to meet interesting people and learn new things are often well worth the effort.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Or what if the weatherman says the word 'snow'???

Then it's "Why don't you have any milk or bread?"

Cuz, stupid, we don't get those things cuz a magical fairy puts them there, they arrive in delivery lorries. When it snows badly, those lorries can't get here from the depot. And if your fellow customers hadn't panic bought all our milk and bread, we'd still have some.

[RealUnimportant]

"Are we keeping you up?" - Quite aside from the fact that I was looking down at a crossword puzzle, not nodding off, I have at this point been awake for 5 hours whereas you've just rolled out of bed, so the answer is a definite "yes!"

"You don't have contactless?" - No, that's why we have exactly no signs saying we take contactless, the card reader has been flashing "please insert your card," and I've been repeating the same thing 3 times in the last 10 seconds. Bonus points if the value of the transaction is significantly over the limit for contactless transactions anyway. (£30 in the UK at present; average transactions this occurs on are either £38 or £93!)

[Lace Neil Singer]

"You don't have contactless?" - No, that's why we have exactly no signs saying we take contactless, the card reader has been flashing "please insert your card," and I've been repeating the same thing 3 times in the last 10 seconds. Bonus points if the value of the transaction is significantly over the limit for contactless transactions anyway. (£30 in the UK at present; average transactions this occurs on are either £38 or £93!)

Ugh, I really hate people who say that. At the moment, we don't have contactless, but we are going to get it at the end of the year. Some people act as tho I just asked them to bungee jump off the top of the canopy when I inform them that they have to use chip and pin. I even had one dunderhead claim that she'd forgotten her pin, magically remembering it after I explained to her in words of one syllable that we didn't have contactless and couldn't magically install it this instant cuz she wanted to use it.

[mjr]

One I've actually heard that used to bug me was this:

"Office job? So that means you just sit on your butt all day?"

No. I write software.

Also, "Oh, so you work with computers?"

Well, I suppose that's true in a way...

[wolfie]

INSTEAD OF DECIDING YOU JUST /HAD/ TO HAVE THAT SEQUINED BOOB TUBE,

Other than Liberace (who would have got sequined sequins if they were available), who would buy a sequined TV?

[nutraxfornerves]

Working for a government agency

I'm a taxpayer!!!!!

I pay your salary. No, you don't. In fact, your taxes don't pay my salary. Look up "fee based services" some time.

This law is stupid.
Why can't you just overlook the law?
Why can't you just change the law?
See the Civics and Government 101 text book

I have a great plan to solve this terrible problem. How much money will you give me? What do you mean you don't just hand out money for stuff like that?

I'm calling the President/Governor/Mayor/Dog Catcher to get you fired Good luck with that.

[Nunavut Pants]

... who would buy a sequined TV?

Heh, that was the first thing I thought when I read about the SEQUINED BOOB TUBE.