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Emailed to me, so of course, had to be shared. 
I can accept no responsibility if anyone actually carries these out. O_o
1. Show them how a grown man cannot slide down the chimney with a demonstration.
2. Tell them that cuz the words "Santa" and "Satan" have the same letters, it means that they're the same person.
3. Dress up in a Santa costume, get drunk and stoned and then visit your children at school.
4. Tell them that when Santa says "Ho ho ho," he's referring to their mother.
5. Inform them that due to Santa being derived from a pagan tradition, you're going to burn them at the stake unless they quit believing.
6. Show them a graphic TV documentary on drink driving, and point out that since Santa drinks at least 100,000 sherries per night and still drives his sledge, it means that he's probably crashed the darn thing and is probably in a morgue right now.
7. Do a handwriting comparison between "Santa"'s handwriting and yours, showing them how they are exactly the same.
8. Take them to a couple of different malls in town and ask them to explain how Santa can be in two places at the same time.
9. Take them to a sweat shop where they make toys and say "Do these look like elves to you?!?"
10. Tell them, "Santa used to be real, honey, but Jesus killed him to get Christmas back."
I can accept no responsibility if anyone actually carries these out. O_o1. Show them how a grown man cannot slide down the chimney with a demonstration.
2. Tell them that cuz the words "Santa" and "Satan" have the same letters, it means that they're the same person.
3. Dress up in a Santa costume, get drunk and stoned and then visit your children at school.
4. Tell them that when Santa says "Ho ho ho," he's referring to their mother.
5. Inform them that due to Santa being derived from a pagan tradition, you're going to burn them at the stake unless they quit believing.
6. Show them a graphic TV documentary on drink driving, and point out that since Santa drinks at least 100,000 sherries per night and still drives his sledge, it means that he's probably crashed the darn thing and is probably in a morgue right now.
7. Do a handwriting comparison between "Santa"'s handwriting and yours, showing them how they are exactly the same.
8. Take them to a couple of different malls in town and ask them to explain how Santa can be in two places at the same time.
9. Take them to a sweat shop where they make toys and say "Do these look like elves to you?!?"
10. Tell them, "Santa used to be real, honey, but Jesus killed him to get Christmas back."
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