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Pirate joke, works on friends

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  • Pirate joke, works on friends

    What degree do pirates get at university?
    Arrrrts.

    What is a pirate's favourite vegetable?
    Arrrrtichoke. (or Arrrsparagus, or any other Arrr.)

    What's a pirate's favourite part of the body?
    His Arrrrrm.

    What branch of the armed forces does a pirate join?
    (Most people will be pre-cued by now and say 'the Arrrrmy')
    No, the Navy. He's a bleedin' pirate!
    Seshat's self-help guide:
    1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
    2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
    3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
    4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

    "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

  • #2
    Heh. This is similar to how one elicits word flubs, in linguistic experiments... you know when you mix up parts of words when you're talking...? augh... what is it... (and this is the 'tip-of-the-tongue' phenomenon... :headbang: )
    "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
    "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

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    • #3
      Yep, that definitely worked on my friend on IRC.
      "I've found that when you want to know the truth about someone, that someone is probably the last person you should ask." - House

      Comment


      • #4
        What about the Coast Guaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd?

        I have a...thing. Wanna see it?

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth teh_blumchenkinder View Post
          Heh. This is similar to how one elicits word flubs, in linguistic experiments... you know when you mix up parts of words when you're talking...? augh... what is it... (and this is the 'tip-of-the-tongue' phenomenon... :headbang: )
          Malaprop?
          fillerfillerfiller
          I have a...thing. Wanna see it?

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth teh_blumchenkinder View Post
            Heh. This is similar to how one elicits word flubs, in linguistic experiments... you know when you mix up parts of words when you're talking...? augh... what is it... (and this is the 'tip-of-the-tongue' phenomenon... :headbang: )
            Spoonerism or Metathesis

            Comment


            • #7
              One my grandfather used on me, successfully (hey, I was 10!):

              Which is correct? "The yolks of eggs is white" or "The yolks of eggs are white"?
              Seshat's self-help guide:
              1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
              2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
              3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
              4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

              "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

              Comment


              • #8
                How do we know that pirates are philosophical?

                They think, therefore they arrr!
                I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
                My LiveJournal
                A page we can all agree with!

                Comment


                • #9
                  What does a pirate keep his weapons?

                  In the arrrsenal.
                  "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    A pirate's favourite type of socks

                    Arrrrrgyle

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                    • #11
                      Which antivirus software does a pirate use on his computer?

                      Avast, ye landlubbers
                      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        What's a pirate's favorite TV program?

                        Carrrrrrrtoons, of course!

                        *Bdump bump! Tsssh*

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth wolfie View Post
                          Which antivirus software does a pirate use on his computer?

                          Avast, ye landlubbers
                          I have Avast, and every time it pops up and says "Avast virus database has been updated," I think "me hearties!"
                          I don't go in for ancient wisdom
                          I don't believe just 'cause ideas are tenacious
                          It means that they're worthy - Tim Minchin, "White Wine in the Sun"

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                          • #14
                            What kind of crime is a pirate most likely to commit?

                            Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrson!
                            - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

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                            • #15
                              How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?

                              A Buccaneer!
                              https://purplefish-quilting.square.site/

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