Things I am not allowed to do at work.

[fireheart]

Who started THIS rule?!

See my thread called "Five reasons why you should not serve cigarettes." That pretty much sums it up.
That rule in particular is more of a reminder that no matter how much of an arrogant and rude dick he is, there are proper channels to follow and punching him on the clock will result in me being fired rather than him.

[Exaspera]

Once again, check this. I've never had anyone complain when I do it. I never complained when someone did it to me. (And I know that, as a student, it was reassuring to know that the marker was amused, rather than upset with what I didn't know).

Okay, correction: I am not allowed to write "How in the HELL did you make it into this school ya big dummy?!" on class essays.

[RestaurantDude]

As per a recently circulated memo, i am no longer allowed to use [exit door #1], which is easily openable from the inside, to exit the building. I am, instead, to use [exit door #2], which requires a button in the security room to be pressed to allow me out. Did i mention that security is slower than frozen snot when it comes to buzzing people in/out? Did i also mention that both doors exit into the exact same lobby? ::grumble::

[Bagboy]

-I am not allowed to play anything by the band Ministry because the regulars wouldn't "get it"
-no matter how much I hate them, I can't throw out every can of Joose,Four Loko, sparks, or Tilt and I cannot throw the cans against the building.

[RestaurantDude]

I'm no longer to refer to the IT Administrator as a "Lvl 3 Penis Elf" whenever he brings up World of Warcraft.

[Teysa]

I cannot feed annoying coworkers to the lobsters. It would be mean to the lobsters.

[underemployeed]

Tell my old war stories of why our one regular SC to the new hire as to why SC is nice to me and I really don't consider him sucky anymore because I told him making him happy isn't on my list of shit I consider important for the night. OR any of the other things I have done while not under direct supervision of management.

Actually the one time I followed company policy for an incident they actually came in to bitch about me.

[SuperRTL]

Not allowed to throw up in the boxes of yarn
Not allowed to throw up on the customers
Not allowed to throw up in the trash can in the break room
Geezus, RTL, aren't you supposed to be over the morning sickness by now?

Not allowed to let our regular SC pick on the new kids who bug me.

[superhotelworker]

I'm not allowed to tell guests that the store is closed across the street, but "If they run really fast" across the highway, the stock boys will let them in. (Even if it's true.)

I'm not allowed to tell the drunk (jokingly) to play Live Action Frogger. They'll actually try.

I shouldn't leave Minion on Skype, even if the boss and paper guy think it's great fun to hear him complain "It's dark down here! She won't feed me!"

[lordlundar]

For ones own safety, doing a "happy dance" and singing that you have the day off that is a known PITA day for staff is not recommended.

That said, to anyone who ignores said rule, no penalty will be brought upon neither the dancer nor those who attack said dancer as a result.

[fireheart]

I am not allowed to mention ANYTHING from Cracked.com to my customers...

...or my coworkers.

[superhotelworker]

I am not allowed to laugh at guests who don't verify their third party rooms with the actual hotel.
(Hotels.com & Expedia don't always book you in the correct type of room folks..)

I am not allowed to harass the annoying Ervin Crew guy, when he's a prick to me first, less his boss is in the lobby, then I have full permission.

[ShinyGreenApple]

This was addressed at a morning meeting when we were still undergoing remodel, thanks, apparently, to shenanigans from the overnight crew.

We are not allowed to have drag races with the fork lifts.

We are not allowed to have 'pallet toss' competitions, either, however fun they might be.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

And I'm probably not allowed to write up my store manager every time he comes in later than he's scheduled to.

Which would probably be every freakin' day he works.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

When asked what time it is, I should not answer with any of the following:

• "It's about that time again."
• "It's Miller Time."
• "The time of purification is at hand."
• "It's clobbering time."
• "Half past a monkey's ass, quarter to his balls."