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I need more clean "Yo Mama" jokes

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  • #16
    Yo mama's so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

    Yo mama's so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

    Yo mama's so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

    Yo mama's so stupid that when she got Alzheimer's, her IQ went up.

    Yo mama's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

    Yo mama's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

    Yo mama's so ugly that just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

    Yo mama's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower.

    Yo mama's so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween.

    Yo mama's so fat, when she lies on the beach Greenpeace show up and try to throw her in the sea.

    Yo mama's so fat that when she wore a yellow raincoat, people kept yelling "Taxi!"

    Yo mama's so fat, when she jumped in the sea she caused a tsunami.

    Yo mama's so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please."

    Yo mama's so fat she fell in love and broke it.
    People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
    My DeviantArt.

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    • #17
      Your mama's so stupid she thought "U.S. Mint" was a kind of plant.

      Your mama's so stupid she thinks the State of the Union address is on a street.


      Oh, my lord. Just got off the phone with my friend Frank, aka the King of Yo Mama jokes. Oh, did he give me plenty! (Still laughing!)


      Your mama's so fat she got tattooed with harpoon.

      Your mama's so fat she puts on her belt with a boomerang.

      Your mama's so fat, when she dances, the band skips. (One of my all-time favorites, that one.)

      Your mama's so fat, you'd have to take 2 busses and acab to get on her good side.

      Your mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.

      Your mama's so fat, her nickname is "DAMN!"

      Your mama's so fat when she breakdances she makes crop circles.

      Your mama's so fat Richard Simmons laughs at her.

      Your mama's so fat when she puts on her BVD's it spells "boulevard."

      Your mama's so fat she was baptized at Sea World.

      Your mama's so fat, when she went missing the put a picture of her on a water tower with a message that said "Have you seen this?"

      Your mama's so fat I tried to drive around her but ran out of gas.

      Your mama's so fat she has a dress with a tag that says "Made in Hong Kong, China, Singapore, L.A......"

      Your mama's so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

      Your mama's so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of Washington's nose.

      Your mama's so fat we threw her up in the air and she got stuck.

      Your mama's so dumb it took her an hour to cook Minute Rice.

      Your mama's so hairy Bigfoot took a picture of her.

      Your mama's so hairy when she was born she almost died of rug burn.

      Your mama's so ugly when she was born the doctor put her in an incubator with tinted windows. (Another one of my favorites.)

      Your mama's so ugly she has to get her babies drunk to breast feed.

      Your mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, her reflection ducks.

      Your mama's so ugly she got a job at the airport sniffing luggage.

      "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
      Still A Customer."

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      • #18
        Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side"
        You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

        Comment


        • #19
          Yo mama's so ugly, she makes Michael Jackson look like Brad Pitt.

          Yo mama's so ugly, they push her face into the dough mixture when making Monster cookies.

          Yo mama's so ugly, when they took her to the beautician it took 10 hours... and that was just for the quote!

          Yo mama's so fat, her fave food is seconds.

          Yo mama's so fat her belt size is Equator.

          Yo mama's so fat, George Lucas cast her as Jabba the Hutt... with no need for a costume!

          Yo mama's so stupid, when she heard drinks were on the house she went and got a ladder.

          Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
          People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
          My DeviantArt.

          Comment


          • #20
            Yo Mama's so old she owes Jesus $5.




            All y'all took all my best jokes. *pout*
            Unseen but seeing
            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
            3rd shift needs love, too
            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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            • #21
              Yo mamma is so fa her belt size is equator.

              Yo mamma is so ugly that when he was born the doctor didn't know which end to slap!
              Quote Dalesys:
              ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

              Comment


              • #22
                Yo' mamma so old, when God said "Let there be light", she flipped the switch.

                Yo' mamma so old, her brith certifcate is in hyrogliphics.
                Is it insanity to reason with the voices in your head or to ignore them and hope they go away on their own? - Hod from Brat-halla

                "You're the nicest evil person I know" one of my managers to me

                Comment


                • #23
                  Yo mamma is so fat she's got a trash bag for a sock.

                  Yo mamma is so poor she puts food on lay-away. At McDonalds.

                  Yo mamma is so fat her ass affects the tide.

                  Yo mamma is so ugly you could cover her face in dough and make monster cookies.

                  Yo mamma is so fat she got her money back from SlimFast.

                  Yo mamma is so stupid she fired a gun into the air and missed.

                  Yo mamma is so fat she gets weighed at a truck stop.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't chew gum, she chews bacon.

                    Yo mama's so fat, she skipped rope and caused an earthquake.

                    Yo mama's so fat, when she lifted her flab rolls, a car fell out.

                    Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at the orange juice carton for an hour cuz it said "concentrate".

                    Yo mama's so ugly that when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras .

                    Yo mama's so ugly that she tried to take a bath, the water jumped out!

                    Yo mama's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

                    Yo mama's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac.

                    Yo mama's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies "Yes please".

                    Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama".
                    People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                    My DeviantArt.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Can't resist: http://xkcd.com/89/ be sure to mouse over for the alt-text addition to the joke.
                      "Eventually, everything that you have said becomes everything you will ever say." Eireann

                      My pony dolls: http://equestriarags.tumblr.com

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Yo mama so fat, she called Jenny Craig and got hung up on!
                        "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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                        • #27
                          Yo mama's so fat, she got her money back from Weightwatchers.
                          People who don't like cats were probably mice in an earlier life.
                          My DeviantArt.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Quoth derangedperson View Post
                            Yo mama so fat, her blood type is Rocky Road!
                            Haha I actually used this in French on my ex-boyfriend
                            The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

                            Now queen of USSR-Land...

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Yo mama's so fat, you don't walk with her, you walk among her.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Yo momma is so ugly army boots are an improvement for her!

                                Yo momma's so fat she's got her own zip code.

                                Yo momma's so fat that the USGS tracks her movements.

                                Yo momma's so fat she's got her own gravity field.

                                Yo momma's so skinny she's two dimentional!

                                Yo momma's so skinny she floats on air!

                                Yo momma's so skinny she falls between the cracks in the floor!

                                Yo momma's such a bad famrer she can't even grow dirt.

                                Yo momma's so deaf she can't even hear sign language.
                                Quote Dalesys:
                                ... as in "Ifn thet dawg comes at me, Ima gonna shutz ma panz!"

                                Comment

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