Holiday tunes for us!

[Jester]

*singing*
With the bitches and asshats and CBF ladies and buttheads galore! It's the most craptacular time...of the year!!!!!!

Thank you, AFpheonix. You inspired me to pen this little ditty:

Customers Suck
(sung to the tune of "Jingle Bell Rock")

Customers, customers, customer suck.
Customers cry and customers lie.
Dreaming and scheming ways to not pay
And lying with every stupid word that they say.

Customers, customers, customers suck.
Customers rob and they’ll “have your job,”
Shouting and pouting, going on a tear…
Question them don’t you dare!

What a bad time, it’s a sad time
To do work in retail.
Holiday time is the right time
To be complaining about a one-day sale.

Giddy-up retail slave, take all their heat
Anything to make a buck.
Bow and kiss ass and scrape at their feet
That’s why customers,
That’s why customers,
That’s why customers suuuuuuck...

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Oh, man, I could hear this being sung with full orchestration in my head. How sick is that?

This is brilliant!

[powerboy]

So could I

Jester, I loved it.

[wildcatgrrl]

Awesome. I love it!!!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Oh, man, I could hear this being sung with full orchestration in my head. How sick is that?

This is brilliant!

Me too. By Burl Ives.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I wanna try this!

Sucky C's (sung to the tune of "Silver Bells")

Sucky C's, Sucky C's
It's time to make, a tanrum scene
Ding-a-lings
Hear them plead
"Don't ruin please Christmas Day."

In the stores rush, all the kids rush
To the toy section aisle
In the air there's a wailing of brats

People pouting, babies screaming
Meeting scowl after scowl
And in every aisle you will hear..

Sucky C's, Sucky C's
It's time to make, a tanrum scene
Ding-a-lings
Hear them plead
"Don't ruin please Christmas Day."

Strings of registers, and the workers
Turning bright red and green
As the shoppers bum rush them, with carts

Hear your teeth crunch, see the people bunch
Its a Black Friday Scene
And above all the bustle you'll hear...

Sucky C's, Sucky C's
It's time to make, a tanrum scene
Ding-a-lings
Hear them plead
"Don't ruin please Christmas Day."

[powerboy]

Irving, that is a catchie one also.

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

SCs Roasting On An Open Fire...

These are all the more funny if you imagine someone like Michael Buble singing.

[Lace Neil Singer]

Don't forget The 12 Days Of Christmas!

(taken from http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ead.php?t=4667 )

On the first day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
A tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the second day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the third day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the fourth day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the fifth day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the sixth day of Christmas, an SC gave to me...
6 price checks
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the seventh day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the eighth day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the nineth day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
9 stolen CDs
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the tenth day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
10 ladies sobbing
9 stolen CDs
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the eleventh day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
11 threatening lawsuits
10 ladies sobbing
9 stolen CDs
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

On the twelveth day of Christmas an SC gave to me...
12 dirty returns
11 threatening lawsuits
10 ladies sobbing
9 stolen CDs
8 items overlimit
7 declined credit cards
6 tired excuses
5 expired coupons
4 screaming brats
3 asinine questions
2 dodgy notes
And a tantrum after I asked for proper ID.

[wagegoth]

You are all brilliant!

Now, if only someone on this board could sing (would that be you, RK?), we could record and sell the songs for download and help support the site!

[thegiraffe]

Haha - gather up all the songstresses (and song...sters?) and make a chorus!

Woo-hoo!

[Brighid45]

The Customer Suck Chorus . . . I like it. Now all we need is a little rehearsal, some studio time and a good promoter. We can make billions I tells ya, billions!

Great parodies everyone! Gave me the best laugh of the day. Well done!

[ArenaBoy]

Nice Jester, here's my version of It's the Most Craptacular Time, it's short

It's the most craptacular time of the year,
SCs come in droves and put us in fear
A lady wanting every toy for her boy
Us workers foiling some new ploy
An SC wanting something that is out
She yells at us how dare we doubt
It's the most craptacular time of the year
SCs come in droves and put us in fear!!!!

[CrazedClerk]

(to the tune of "silent night")

Closing shift, Closing shift,
angry guy throws a fit.
Why are we sold out of Playstation 3?
no, we don't have a Nintendo Wii.
You're out of luck, it would seem,
bitter and angry and mean.

Yes we're sold out, completely sold out,
no it won't matter, if you scream and pout.
I can not magically make things appear,
now won't you please get the hell out of here?
No we don't have any more,
stuck in the back of our store.

don't cry and sob, you lazy slob,
annoying me while I'm on the job
oh how I wish that I was off you see,
but because you procastinate, it's here I must be.
alll of the good stuff is gone,
you shouldn't have waited so long.

[DesignFox]

Those are all great.

I also like the original How doth thou suck post...

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ead.php?t=4582