Things you don't want to hear during surgery

[Lace Neil Singer]

* "Better save that; we'll need it for the autopsy!"

* "Accept this sacrifice, oh Great Lord Satan!"

* "Hand me that... uh... um... thingy will you Jim?"

* "Leave! BAD DOG! Drop it boy!"

* "Whoops! Hey, Bob? Anyone survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

* "You know... there's great money in kidneys, and this guy has two."

* "What do you mean, he wasn't in for a sex change?"

* "I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses."

* "Shit... where did I leave my scalpel?"

* "Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us."

* "Ok... sho I've had a few drinksh (hic)."

* "Wait a second... If this is his spleen, then what's that?"

* "Damn, page 39 of the manual is missing!"

* "Sterile, Schmerile. The floor's clean, right?"

* "What do you mean, he's not insured?"

* "What in God's name is THAT?"

*"Ehh.. it's probably sharp enough."

* "SHIT!! FIRE!! FIRE!! EVERYONE OUT!"

* "Ahh crap... the power's gone again."

* "The life support still works right?"

* "So which leg should it have been?"

* "Whoops... someone's not going to be a dad!"

* *sound of camera* "Alright! These are going up on Facebook tonight!"

[Ironclad Alibi]

Another thing you don't want to hear during surgery:

"Oops."

Cookies for reference.

[dalesys]

..."Oops."...

"When I've said "Ooops" before, I know what I've done.
...Now what did you do?"

[BlaqueKatt]

sadly in post-op I had my doctor make the professional comment of "eeew that was disgusting-I have never seen tonsils that bad, it's amazing you weren't sicker"

and yes from what he said they were really bad

Highlight for description if you really must know-but I wouldn't recommend it-NSFlunch:

abscessed with one inch deep pockets of infection behind them that had to be drained and cleaned out-my tonsils were nothing but infection-hence the beginnings of sepsis....they had joined the other side

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"If something should go wrong, let's not get the law involved. One hand washes the other!"

"The knee bone's connected to the...something! The something's connected to the...red thing! The red thing's connected to my...wristwatch! Uh oh."

[Midorikawa]

"If something should go wrong, let's not get the law involved. One hand washes the other!"

"The knee bone's connected to the...something! The something's connected to the...red thing! The red thing's connected to my...wristwatch! Uh oh."

I heard both quotes in Dr. Nick's voice. That episode's awesome. :-D

[LillFilly]

2-more things you don't want to hear your doctor whisper tenderly in your ear just before you go under:

"I know you're the drunk driver who killed my daughter"

and

"Your wife and I are going to be very happy together"

[wolfie]

* "Hand me that... uh... um... thingy will you Jim?"

Gotta add "Dammit Jim, I'm a bricklayer, not a doctor". Cookies for reference.

[Pedersen]

Gotta add "Dammit Jim, I'm a bricklayer, not a doctor". Cookies for reference.

Star Trek, "Devil in the Dark", Dr. McCoy.

And no, sadly, I did not have to look that up.

[crazylegs]

"anybody seen my wedding ring..."

[Der Cute]

This is the machine that goes "Booooinnnnnng!"

[wolfie]

Star Trek, "Devil in the Dark", Dr. McCoy.

And no, sadly, I did not have to look that up.

I knew it was a McCoy quote (which I reversed), but obviously you're a bigger fan than I am.

[smileyeagle1021]

"I know you're the drunk driver who killed my daughter"

Alternatively-

"You probably don't remember me, but back in highschool you (insert offense here)"

[RayvenQ]

"It's just like that game, Operation, man I hope this is easier than that game."

[mattm04]

Where did that come from?

Hope that's not important.