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  #11  
Old 03-02-2007, 04:33 PM
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Jpurple Jpurple is offline
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?


No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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  #12  
Old 03-02-2007, 09:35 PM
DarthRetard DarthRetard is offline
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OH! Jpurple you just reminded me of my old band lightbulb jokes.....haaaaa....


How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5. 1 to do it, and the other four to tell him how much better they could have done it, and with more style and range too.

  #13  
Old 03-02-2007, 10:36 PM
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How many Chicago Bears fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. One to screw in the bulb and 4 to reminisce about how good the '85 Bears were.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb.
None! They all cut themselves in the dark.
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  #14  
Old 03-03-2007, 01:03 PM
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How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb?

You don't know. You weren't there!

Rapscallion

  #15  
Old 03-03-2007, 04:23 PM
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BlaqueKatt BlaqueKatt is offline
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how many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

one but it really has to want to change


how many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

one because apparently I'm the only one that knows how<cries>


how many feminatzis does it take to change a lightbulb?

that's not funny.

  #16  
Old 03-03-2007, 06:17 PM
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How many pro wrestlers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to "take out" the old lightbulb, one to get the new lightbulb over, one to get some heat off the new lightbulb's brilliance, and one to complain that the lightbulb has been holding him back for years.

It's mostly only funny to wrestlers but I still like it
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  #17  
Old 03-05-2007, 04:17 PM
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Q - How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - Any number, but they always screw it up.

Q - How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - Four. One to change the bulb, and three to write about how the bulb is exploiting the socket.

Q - How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?
A - It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

Q - How many Chinamen does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.

Q - How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A - Three. One to screw it in, one to watch, and one to shoot the witness.

A - One.
Q - How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?
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  #18  
Old 03-07-2007, 02:27 PM
DannyboyO1 DannyboyO1 is offline
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How many algebra professors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Solve for X.



How many [noun] does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[number] [reason why number is hilarious]

Mad libs? I never metahumor I didn't like.
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  #19  
Old 03-07-2007, 09:30 PM
Rahmota Rahmota is offline
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A few science fiction lightbulb jokes.

How many Daleks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Why would they want to replace the light bulb they just exterminated.

How many vulcans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2 but they can only do it once every 7 years.

How many red shirts (TOS) does it take?
Nobody knows they keep dying.

How many officers (TNG) does it take?
The entire bridge staff but only after a briefing and they try to talk it into changing on its own.

How many Klingons does it take?
3, one to change it and the others to chant a lightbulb changing opera.

How many Talosians (TOS) does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one but they only make you think the bulb changed.
(If you get that reference then welcome to the trek cluub...)

  #20  
Old 03-08-2007, 01:30 PM
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I am able to change a lightbulb by myself:

I hold the bulb to the socket and the world revolves around me.
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