Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Humans are filthy disgusting scum!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Humans are filthy disgusting scum!

    I would like to find the person or persons responsible for turning the newly-remodeled men's bathroom (due to said remodeling, the men's has been temporarily turned into a unisex bathroom, complete with locking door for privacy - the same thing was done with the women's when that was still available and the men's bathroom was being redone) into a squalid teeming mass of disgusting repulsive filth.

    Then I would like to forcibly cram all the NASTY refuse (which included a freshly bloodied tampon and a turdpile in one bowl that someone had so thoughtfully neglected to flush) down that person's or persons' throat(s) and make them die choking on it.

    Following that, I will drink a fresh cold strawberry margarita. Because nothing says "I PWN j00 ALL" like an asskicking and a victory margarita.

    --

    Two (dozen) bitchslaps down going out to 1) the smartass who thought it was funny to crack some stupid joke at me ("I'd like to report a 'lost and found'" - "Ok" - "I found the 25 lbs she lost" (points at magazine cover announcing some dumbo star's weight loss) - "...." ) when it was patently obvious I was NOT feeling well and in a lot of pain (goddamn 8+ hour shift on the feet) and generally wishing I could run amok in my store with a fully functioning badassed chainsaw -

    And, 2) to the bitch who whined about her precious $10 coupon (GOD HOW I HATE THESE @#%#@!$^%#!$%!#$%ING 10-DOLLAR COUPONS WITH THE FIRE OF A THOUSAND SUNS) when the damn thing CLEARLY said on it you have to spend $50 or more, NOT counting alcohol, tobacco, lottery tickets, and the like, and La Bitchella only had $47. What do we do? Go and whine to any one of our spineless managers, they'll give you what you want (while stomping on us lowly cashier types who aren't special enough to have the keys and override codes, of course)!

    I hate you people so bad. Please go and play golf during a Cat 5 hurricane, kthnxbai.

    --

    This one goes out to a cow-irker: Sweetie, if you think you're going to ban us from keeping our water bottles at the registers (said bottles are kept away from the actual register itself), you've got another thought coming. I dehydrate easily. If I don't do the drinking/occasional snacking thing (because your fellow manager types are just SO good about giving us our scheduled breaks /sarcasm), I stop doing the standing and talking thing. Got it?

    --

    Actually, while I'm thinking of it, here's two words for management and corporate who are helping to make life just a little more miserable each day. Hint: They rhyme with "puck" and "dew"!

    Thus goeth my bitchery for this evening. We now return you to your regularly scheduled customer sucktardery.
    ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

  • #2
    *gasp!*

    You must have gotten a visit from our "fingerpainter"

    I hate you people so bad. Please go and play golf during a Cat 5 hurricane, kthnxbai.
    I prefer "Go play mumblety-peg in front of a speeding Amtrak train, kthnxbai", but whatever works.

    You need a or 16.
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post

      You need a or 16.
      I have a root beer. Does that count? (Hey, it says "beer" on it!)
      ~~ Every politician that opens their mouth on birth control only proves that we need more of it. ~~

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Amethyst Hunter View Post
        ...and generally wishing I could run amok in my store with a fully functioning badassed chainsaw -
        Ooooo! I Like! I Like!

        Seriously sounds like a rough day. go take a breather, you earned it.
        I AM the evil bastard!
        A+ Certified IT Technician

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
          *gasp!*

          You must have gotten a visit from our "fingerpainter"

          .
          No it was a visitor by the name of Dumplestiltskin. http://www.adultswim.com/video/?epis...05801bd001d0fb has the details.

          That is what you should call those who ruin the bathrooms because there is no human that could ruin said place so effectively or with such destructive force. No human could emit so much feces in a toilet bowl.

          Comment


          • #6
            *gives Amethyst a big piece of apple pie and an ice cold rootbeer* here you earned for not going on a killing spree. Oh also kindly, and in a sickly sweet voice, tell who ever wants you to stop keeping water bottles up front that if they make you stop they are putting your health at risk making them liable for EVERYTHING that happens to you afterwords. oh and, in not so many words, you arent afraid to get a lawyer.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Amethyst Hunter View Post

              This one goes out to a cow-irker: Sweetie, if you think you're going to ban us from keeping our water bottles at the registers (said bottles are kept away from the actual register itself), you've got another thought coming. I dehydrate easily. If I don't do the drinking/occasional snacking thing (because your fellow manager types are just SO good about giving us our scheduled breaks /sarcasm), I stop doing the standing and talking thing. Got it?
              Where I work, we are able to have drinks by the register. Sometimes its a few drops on it, but never to where it would ruin it.
              Under The Moon Paranormal Research
              San Joaquin Valley Paranormal Research

              Comment


              • #8
                We're not allowed to have anything by our registers except a pen, some cleaning supplies, and a first aid kit.

                We have all kinds of crap up there including a fan, a small radio and even a mirco fridge thats just big enough for two 20oz cokes.

                Comment


                • #9
                  We can't have food or drink by the registers or within view of the customers, but we have a back counter behind the racks of drugs where we keep an assortment of goodies.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Amethyst Hunter View Post
                    and generally wishing I could run amok in my store with a fully functioning badassed chainsaw
                    I think that's only permissible by associates in Housewares

                    Brings back terrible memories of my grocery store days.

                    Regarding the bathroom problem, here's the worst thing I've ever seen. Thick browns mark on the wall that could have only been created by picking up the...uh...implement and "drawing" with it.

                    Floor sup: Kara, can you go clean the restroom?
                    ME: Uh, sure.
                    *2 minutes later*
                    ME: No way. No freaking way. We pay a custodian to deal with that, I'm not having anything to do with it. Nuh-uh. I will stand outside for the rest of my shift holding up a big sign on the corner in the freezing cold advertising Double Dollar Coupons if you want me to, and I will freeze to death with smile on my face. But I'm not touching the bathroom.
                    Sup (who was a pretty cool woman and I could get away with talking to her like that) goes to bathroom then comes back out: You know what? Lets just close it off and let everyone use the one in the stockroom today.
                    "You are loved" - Plaidman.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Puck dew

                      Quoth Kara_CS View Post
                      Regarding the bathroom problem, here's the worst thing I've ever seen. Thick browns mark on the wall that could have only been created by picking up the...uh...implement and "drawing" with it.
                      How can humans erm , I mean, Dumpelsi... erm...
                      That's nasty
                      ...but I'm a bastard and so desensitized to the scum of humanity that I'm immune to the Stun status effect.
                      Quoth Gravekeeper

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth Amethyst Hunter View Post
                        wishing I could run amok in my store with a fully functioning badassed chainsaw -


                        Just keep one of these by the register.

                        DILLIGAF

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Quoth Lehk View Post
                          Just keep one of these by the register.

                          (Image) Rocket Propelled Chainsaw (/Image)
                          Cool! Now I want one!
                          "Sir... sir... diagnosing computer problems over the phone is like diagnosing brain cancer with a pointy stick"
                          -ahanix1989, inspired by bash.org

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Quoth Amethyst Hunter View Post
                            This one goes out to a cow-irker: Sweetie, if you think you're going to ban us from keeping our water bottles at the registers (said bottles are kept away from the actual register itself), you've got another thought coming. I dehydrate easily. If I don't do the drinking/occasional snacking thing (because your fellow manager types are just SO good about giving us our scheduled breaks /sarcasm), I stop doing the standing and talking thing. Got it?
                            We're not supposed to have any food or drinks at our register, but since I'm night-shift, the rules are a little more lax - I always have a bottle of water under the register (my throat dries up really quickly) and some mints or jolly ranchers in my apron pocket to last me the entire shift, because since the law says employees have to have a 1/2 hr lunch break if they work 8 or more hours, my managers have the brilliant idea of only scheduling me for 7.5 hours, which means they only have to give me two 15-min breaks. Never mind that they aren't paying for the lunch break anyway, nevermind that it takes at least 4 minutes minimum to powerwalk/jog from the punch-clock to the break room on the other side of the store. *sigh*
                            A good fight is like a stick of broccoli, but different. Ich esse grüne Bohnen im Nude. ~ "Of Love and Bunnies"

                            Comment

                            Working...
                            X