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  • #16
    Quoth Gravekeeper View Post

    Soooo....top that. -.-
    Can't. I value my sanity.



    It's also untoppable, IMO.
    I know nothing and I can prove it!

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    • #17
      Quoth JustaCashier View Post

      *Goes back to rapidly repeating "Cunning Stunts" out loud*
      Oh, good. I'm not the only one.
      I know nothing and I can prove it!

      Comment


      • #18
        I can't top Gravekeeper's beyond strange coworker but I have a few.

        June 2005: First year; beginning to work chains. We have traffic medians complete with tiny trees. These medians happen to be next the barrels I was guarding. The lot was quite empty at the time, so thinking I was going to have a normal night I was proven wrong. I see an H2 Hummer flying towards the median, next thing I know it's a good 5-7 feet in the air. Loud thud follows and squealing of the tires. Many customers asked me if I saw what they saw.

        November 2005: There was also the idiot who managed to drag a barrel with him to the freeway. I saw the barrel the next morning when I was driving down it. Again, SC gets sick of waiting and just takes the barricade head-on.
        The Grand Galactic Inquisitor hears all and sees all.

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        • #19
          Wow. That one guy has issues. I think they have surgery for that, if it comes to it.

          Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
          RCMP
          Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cooler, though.
          Unseen but seeing
          oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
          There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
          3rd shift needs love, too
          RIP, mo bhrionglóid

          Comment


          • #20
            Streaking through the restaurant.
            Propositioning other customers for sexual favors/prostitution.
            Random costumes. Not during Halloween, either.
            Rollerblading servers.
            Snowball target practice with a trash can across the street. (Bartenders need to relieve boredom.)
            Tourist fishing I: Dollar bill tied to fishing line, laid in street, and pulled along when tourist grabs for it.
            Tourist Fishing II: Coins glued to sidewalk across the street.
            Bum Fishing: "Cocktail" left on trash can/newspaper box. Bum would come along and drink it. Sadly, "cocktail" consisted of all kinds of nastiness, from hot sauce to various other nasty food/drink stuffs. (The rest of us needed boredom relief too.)
            Playing of imaginary keyboards, singing loudly and annoying other customers, and refusing to pay tab for meal. (KWPD were duly summoned. That one made the police report.)

            Amusingly, in Key West, not much of this raises too many eyebrows.

            But ask me one day how I made the police report as an unnamed victim--sans clothes.

            "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
            Still A Customer."

            Comment


            • #21
              Quoth Gravekeeper View Post
              He was fired from there for excessive testicle exposure.
              now honestly, can testicle exposure ever be "excessive?" there arent levels of ball flashing. one nut and youre done. sorry, gtfo.

              craziest thing ive witnessed was a manager doing cartwheels down the main aisle. during normal store hours.

              then there was the time when one manager, wearing a winnie the pooh suit, jumped out at the cartwheeling manager and scared the bejesus out of him.
              Kim: She's got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.

              I'd like to exercise my constitutional right to not give a fuck.

              Comment


              • #22
                Quoth Jadedcarguy View Post
                Oh, good. I'm not the only one.
                I didn't do it out loud, but my brain juxtaposed a couple of the letters and repeated THAT a few times.

                Nothing spectacular that I can think of off the top of my head. Probably insane customers fingerpainting in shit on the bathroom wall at Kinko's. That happened quite a bit, sadly. And I don't know what antic broke the sink in there, but it must've been a real doozy.

                When I worked at the zoo, some idiot dangled a toddler into the tiger pit so he could see better (nobody got hurt, thank God).

                Really can't think of anything story-worthy.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                  When I worked at the zoo, some idiot dangled a toddler into the tiger pit so he could see better (nobody got hurt, thank God).

                  Really can't think of anything story-worthy.
                  Dangled a child over the tiger pit!?!

                  That's pretty worthy IMO!
                  I know nothing and I can prove it!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Heheheh. Well, maybe, but really, that's the entire story. I was walking past, I saw it as I was entering the employee's area behind a fence. I saw my boss, and casually said, "Is it okay to dangle a toddler into the tiger pit?" and he leapt up, knocking his chair over, and raced back out the door I'd just entered through.

                    I just went and got my lunch. Dunno what happened after that. Probably a chewing out.

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Best I ever heard was a story from my old supervisor. I don't know if anyone knows what Big Joe is as thats the named it referred to at my job.

                      Similiar to this except where the forks are we have a platform with posts at the 4 corners with chains on them. There is also a safety harness which connect to the main part of the machine. Alright now on to the story.

                      Late one night my Sup. was putting Tvs away and the closing manager had started to power down the store and most of the lights were out. My sup heard someone walking down the main aisle towards him and after checking that the safety harness was secure he ran and jumped off the platform (not the brightest thing in the world to do) right as the person passed by his aisle. The safety harness is designed to stop someone from crashing into the floor should they fall off the platform. So imagine a 5' 8" 200lb man with bleach blonde hair and goatee leaping out of the darkness and swinging above you. Scared the hell out of the other poor employee.

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                      • #26
                        Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                        When I worked at the zoo, some idiot dangled a toddler into the tiger pit so he could see better (nobody got hurt, thank God).
                        [Tiger] Oh, live snacks. Service is improving around here...[/Tiger]



                        Civilized men tend to be ruder than savages because they know they can be impolite without getting their skulls split, as a rule.
                        - Robert E. Howard

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                        • #27
                          Quoth RecoveringKinkoid View Post
                          I just went and got my lunch. Dunno what happened after that. Probably a chewing out.
                          The obvious question to me is did the manager chew out the idiot parent, or did the tiger chew out the "precious little one"?

                          "The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is
                          Still A Customer."

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Quoth Jester View Post
                            Random costumes. Not during Halloween, either.
                            Ok, my friends and I are totally guilty of this one. Usually bordom leads us to eating at Denny's in costume at 1 am. At least we tip well
                            Our brains are smarter than we think they am!

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                            • #29
                              No kids or anyone else were injured in the tiger pit incident.

                              It was pretty anticlimactic. I think my boss just went out there and gave the dad a stern talking to.

                              I wish I could report that my boss took the kid from him then tossed THE DAD into the pit, but alas, I cannot.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                At burgerking, a drunk guy passed out in the drivethru lane and wouldn't move. My manager (G) went to persuade him to move his POS car. He decided it was better to take a siesta at our window instead. G said "No Go", the guy got combative and swung at G after he woke up a bit, G had to swing back and knocked him out....again...then moved the guy and the car into a parking space waiting on the PD to come and get his drunk ass. The poor guys at drivethru never did get their times back down that night.

                                Before we moved from the old building to our current location, we had a tunnel that went from our parking lot to the local government center (where the jail, courthouse, and county hall of administration is located). We ended up having a porno photoshoot their. It started in a van in the parkinglot and gradually moved to the tunnel, we know what it was because we could see the "participants getting in and out of the van in various outfits and then finaly move to the tunnel. Oh yeah and one of our employee's went out and watched 'em for a few minutes on his break. My boss was laughing his ass off, a shop full of guys this was bound to happen.

                                But figures that gravedigger would win this one.
                                My Karma ran over your dogma.

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