Lawsuits that Never Were

[HawaiianShirts]

I keep hearing that American has a surplus of lawyers. If that's true, I can't help wondering why those ambulance-chaser lawyers desperate for clients don't just camp out at the service desk of local retail establishments. It may take a couple days, but it wouldn't be difficult for them to find potential cases.

I've heard plenty of stories. I've personally experienced only three instances of customers threatening to sue. One was a guy who claimed to be a corporate lawyer himself, demanding that we replace his broken laptop because we didn't warn him that using it as a pillow might damage it. One was a "false advertising" claim (from my call center days) where the radio ad said "risk-free trial" but the customer only heard "free." And I had my third lawsuit threat today.

Guy wanted a projector. We had one in stock. He called and had it set aside for him yesterday, then came in to pick it up today. I retrieved the box and walked it up front to the cashiers with him. A few minutes later, I brought a printer up for an older couple only to see Projector Guy berating the cashier because his check was being rejected by our automatic check verification system. We don't know why checks are rejected, but there is little we can do, and the cashier apparently tried those solutions already. He said he was going to sue the store if we wouldn't sell him the projector. Since we could do nothing more to help aside from suggest he call his bank for the check thing, he left, repeating his threats to sue the company and the individual employees who happened to get in his way.

It's just funny to me. People make lawsuit threats far too often. I'd like to laugh in their faces, but my Customer Service Censor won't let me. So, instead, how about some stories about ridiculous lawsuit threats? I know there are some out there better than mine.

[mattm04]

I have had a lady threaten to sue because we didn't carry store brand X when we are store Y.

I REALLY hat the arm-chair lawyer types who think they know every single law. No, it is not false advertising because you thought you heard an ad that never existed.

[ThePhoneGoddess]

Ok. I deal with fraudulent charges. People call me because they have charges on their bank statement they don't recognize. A lot fo people have no idea how credit cards work and so we get threatened with all sorts of stuff, including being sued out of our jobs.

Exhibit A: a previous post of mine.

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=11389

[seeress_83]

I had a man threaten to sue my boss because he bought a pack of cigarettes that were out of date. He said we were intentionally selling them...when it was a simple screw-up from the supplier that caused us to get sent ONE carton of cigarettes that were out of date. (The guy was completely loony...and now that I'm thinking about it I think he deserves his own post. I think I might just go make that post.)

[CancelMyService]

I love it when customers inform me that they'll call their lawyer and sue over their imaginary plight, and when they are done my company will be begging to have them back as a customer.

Now I'm not normally one to side with companies over the little guy, but I'm not naive enough to not think my company doesn't have a whole fleet of lawyers who kick puppies for fun and would eat the lunch of whoever the SC found on the back cover of the yellow pages.

It also doesn't help that 99 times out of 100 the customer making the threat is mad over something entirely their fault, like being disconnected for not paying their bill for months.

[powerboy]

How about the couple that used to rent at my moms place of employment.

Their price got raised by accident, and they went to the BBB & mentioned that they will sue. It was a simple glitch in the system, that was easily taken care of in a minute. Nothing came out of it, just a letter sent from BBB wanting to know what happened. The place is still in business.

[ArenaBoy]

The county I currently live in is full of lawyers. My favorite lawyer type was this guy who came in late (After the game started) and didn't have a pass. As soon as the words "You don't have a pass, I can't let you in." escaped my mouth he went ballistic. He was screaming about how he is a lawyer and is going to shut the arena down (Buddy, the owner is the richest man in the state.), how he was going to get everyone fired, how much money he had (Richest owner in the state you're up against dumb ass.), and did I mention he was going to get us fired? I felt bad for his daughter who was driving, he was yelling at anything in his sight.

Of course, I have way too many VIP stories involving lawyers but most of them were "I'm gonna have your job" types.

[Reyneth]

Because I'm technically in collections, the majority of my callers are *not* customers. A few are - they're calling to check on the status of their claim. But the other ones.....oooooh! They think that they'll intimidate me by saying they're getting a lawyer? "Have them fax or mail their letter of representation." When they threaten that we can't contact them directly? "If we don't have the letter of rep from your attny, yes we can."

The kicker is the reason that we are collecting from these people is that they were driving WITHOUT car insurance. Hmmmm. Illegal. Your lawsuit (if you wish to file one) ain't goin' nowhere, bub. All the lawyer will do is charge you to setup your repayment plan with us - hey! I do that for free! - or give you incorrect advice that ends up in your license being suspended and/or going to a 3rd party collections where they are even less nice to you than we are.

Go ahead, threaten away.

Oh, and to the few customers we have that threaten lawsuits? The deductible is part of the policy YOU selected. We don't HAVE to get it back for you. But we attempt to. A lawsuit because we were unable to get it back from the person without insurance who hit you is pointless. Not to mention, it will make other insurance companies think twice about taking you as a customer now.

[jigshoes86]

False Advertising- always got that just after I started work at Pizza Hut- we hadn't long before switched from 12 wings in an order to 10. We were told to politelytell customers that fact. Most people were fine, but one guy- my first taste of true suckyness- just lit into me, a poor 17 year old timid phone girl about 'false advertising' and 'i'm a lawyer' and something about 'bait & switch' - he was most likley, looking back on it, using a flier with expired coupons. Like long time expired- cause this was a good 4-5 months into working there- and the switch happened like right when I got there or just before.

Then- I was shaking

Now- i just let it go- apoligize like I'm supposed to but do the mental math- your pizza cost after tax, delivery, and tip for the driver (well, probably not) roughly 18-20 bucks- the money a lawyer would cost- just not worth it. Yell at me, threaten me- your not gonna act on it
and if you do, nothing will come of it for a loooooooong time.

[protege]

I had one of my paper route customers threaten to sue me for "invasion of privacy." How? Er, well, let's just say that when I'd put the paper in his door, some "interesting* things could be seen from that location. Namely, him sitting on the couch in his underwear, along with his nasty wife Trust me, I did *not* want to see that...but because of the way his door was designed (entire top 3/4 was glass) it was impossible *not* to see that.

Then there's the guy who tried to give me crap simply because I'd sometimes park the delivery wagon in front of his house. Granted, that vehicle was pretty beat-up by then, but still. It was originally red, but shortly after I bought it, it got a nice green paint job with a silver stripe down the side. Fast forward a couple of years, and it looked pretty bad--the paint was peeling, and my attempts at rust prevention included some orange spray paint. Not pretty, but it ran...not to mention the wagon's battered appearance got me some much-needed tips But still, the guy got upset because he simply didn't want it "devaluing" his house. Needless to say, I told him to 'fuck off' since it was in a public street

[BaristaTrav]

When I worked in the vacaton industry I was once threatened with a lawsuit (personally and the company) because the guest didn't like the baked alaska and also once because I refused to refund a trip within the penlaty period when I could not cancel without penalties (unfortunately, sups usually would cancel and apply refunds, where if I would have, I'd have gotten fired).

[digilight]

Oooohhh oooohhh ooooohhh me me me me....

I deal with a lot of lawyers and I think I have the answer to this. People are stupid and full of shit and idiots..... Most of the attorneys I deal with will tell you if you don't have a case and tell you to get lost if they realize that you are just a douchebag with nothing. Most people threaten lawsuit expecting it to be handled on a contingency. Well when Mr(s) Attorney presents you with a contract for representation and a Retainer Agreement stating that they require a retainer of 5 grand and charge minimum of 250 bucks an hour it takes the wind out of their sails.

Now as far the asshole attorneys that you deal with at your place of employement (the ones who are now in the SC Role). They represent a small portion of attorneys, but they discolor all attorneys by their actions.

The scary thing is that some of my best customers are attorneys (well as a copy shop specialising in litigation work thats no shock : ) but I have seen a few pricks as well.

But I'm sure that most of the idiots threatening to sue get laughed out the lawyers office if they even make it that far. Hell how many of 'em get laughed at by their spouses and friends before even getting to see the lawyer.

[Sliceanddice]

-One was a "false advertising" claim (from my call center days) where the radio ad said "risk-free trial" but the customer only heard "free."

OH god i hate the term, HATE IT!!!! i explained to a woman for three minutes straight to day that yes we had a risk free trial on our *stop smokeing* product but not a free trail, so if in 7 days you haven't quit smoking, you'll get your money back less shipping and handling.
she still didnt under stand it 2 minutes later after i wrestled her zip code to her and gave her the price.

also the words "Get Started" and "Trail" because if you here you can GET started with a new business for only 39.95 how much do you think the program cost?
Thats right most likely more than 39.95.

i get the threatened with lawsuits daily....


BTW have you ever talked to a person who is so obviously a heavy smoker than you litterly smell cigarette smoke when you talk to them? creepy....

[South Texan]

When I worked at Six Flags Over Texas back in the 70's, we had at least one group of guests a week who would buy their tickets and enter the park thinking it was Disneyland. We were in the Arlington, TEXAS (between Dallas and Fort Worth) nowhere near California or Florida, yet some stupid people would travel a few hundred miles to the park thinking we were Disney. These people often became enraged when they realized (or had to be told) of their error once they asked where It's a Small World, Space Mountain, The Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean or the Castle were located.

There were some who threatened to sue the park because we did not tell them we were not affiliated with Disney at the time they bought their tickets. Although we often asked them why they thought a park with nothing referencing Disney characters in its advertising nor having anything relating to Disney in its name would be part of the Disney corporation, we would offer them "sincere" apologies but no refund. Then we would crack up as soon as they huffed away.

[MadRocketScientist]

SO I own this little dry cleaners in the DC area and one day we had this JUDGE walk in...

The ultimate I'm gonna sue