Too Funny Not to Share (long)

[Imogene]

Having read his email, and understanding all the parts that I'm sure the email generator got confused about whilst writing, the whole thing can be summed up thusly: You owe me for my mistake, give me free trips! (When is it ever anything different for a customer?)

[TheComputerError]

Nah, that was great. The last line was the best part.

Thank you. It's always important to finish well.

[Kyree]

<snip>
all I could think of was that scene from the TV show "Friends" when Joey writes the reccomendation letter for Chandler and Monica and uses the thesaurus for every word

What do you as a representative or manager or controller of your corporation propose to offer me as an exchange for the money you have taken from me under the hospices of a fare surcharge for itinerary alteration?
:

You know, I think he would have been better off actually doing what Joey did. Hospices? I love the people that think writing run-on sentences filled with big words makes people think that they're smarter then everyone else, when in truth they just prove how horribly stupid they are.

[Slytovhand]

Sapphire - nice one! I have some colleagues who also work for an airline 'customer service' lot, and the team leader takes quite (sadistic) pleasure in telling inconvenienced customers that he, as a team leader, isn't there to provide said customer service he gets just as much pleasure as pointing out the terms and conditions of tickets that everyone agrees to (whether you want to or not) when you buy them - so, tough shit, sunshine!

TCE - well done! Yeah, I lost it somewhere around the middle (unlike the emailer, who obviously lost it many decades ago ...)

Ah, EtG... yes... murlocs.... just like standard SC's all the world over - running around madly making lots of noise...(and very deserving of being hacked apart )

[Dips]

All those big words, and the only message he conveys is "Lookit me! I'm a douchepizza using big words to sound all important and shit!"

Excellent summary.

The OP's email reminded me of one I got from one of my customers. I liked your observation in THAT thread enough to revive it here because it applies as well:

All those big words, and the only message he manages to convey is "I am a supreme dipshit."

[auntiem]

Here is a quick breakdown of what he's complaining about. He bought a ticket, we'll say it cost $230.00. He had to change it. Changes incur a penalty fee, this is very obvious with airlines nowadays. The new flights he changed to were a ticket price of $200.00, so $30.00 less. Because he had a non refundable ticket he does not get that $30.00 back and it does not come off of the change fee. Now, this is a policy that I may not necessaryilly agree with, but it is not something we hide either. It's not one of those miniscule rules that we hide and don't tell people about. This rule is clearly stated when a change is made that if the price of the new ticket is less than the old ticket THE VALUE IS THEN FORFEITED. So this guy decided after he made the change and agreed to all the rules that he would throw a bitch fit for $30.00. My reply you may ask?

Should I feel sick that I knew what he was bitching about before I finished reading the letter the first time?

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

Let me run that through my handy sucky customer translator:

"Give me what I want or get me your manager, NOW!"