How to get free groceries from me

[Gaudemeus]

In this tale, our hero is saved by none other than the damsel in the Dairy dept.

Actually it was Frozen, but I think it sounded better the way I put it... BUT ONTO THE STORY!

Some of you in retail might understand the RLoG, or Retail Laws of Gravity. That means that things don't seem to fall down, but sideways and always just out of your reach. Others of you might understand the logic behind the sticky boxes. Which is basically when you have a bunch of boxed merch lined up and when you pull one forward, inevitably the whole line comes with it, whether it's supposed to or not.

Both of which happened to me last night in the Frozen area. I was zoning tv dinners to perfection so as to get back in the good graces of my co-workers (See other post in CoC) when, as it always happens, an entire row of boxes falls, not down but to the side just out of my reach. Just as I bend down to reach the nearest box I hear a cackling... nay... a laugh of rapturous glee come from behind me. When I turn around there's a middle aged man standing there, pointing and laughing to the point where he might lose control of his bladder.

him: (Verbatim) "I can't believe all those boxes fell over on you man. That is some funny f*in stuff!" *cue more laughing*

REALLY old woman who is the best EVER!: *pats him gingerly on the shoulder like you would do a special needs child who just made poopie in the potty* "That's called gravity dear."

He stops laughing quite abruptly, turns beet red and walks briskly out of the aisle and around the corner. I'm sure a few ribs are broken from restraining the joy that threatened to burst from my rusty innards at this moment in time. She walks over to me and says: 'I only said that because I knew you wanted to but couldn't.'

If I had the money I would have gladly bought that woman's groceries for her.

[aurelemsrealm]

You gotta love those customers who come to your defense or at least sympathize when assailed by the idiots and jerks of the world.

[myswtghst]

I love when I'm the customer and I have the chance to do those kinds of things. Like I need an excuse to be a smartass...

[MrSunshineState]

LOL, that lady is officially on my list of heros!

[Marxfan]

No fair! I never had little old lady customers come to my defense!

Still, she put the loser in his place, so I'm glad you got a happy ending.

[Boozy]

I've always said, those little old ladies have the quickest wits and the sharpest tongues. My grandmother has sliced down a young man or two.

I love stories about other customers putting an SC in their place. Maybe I should start a thread...

[aurelemsrealm]

I have to brag on some of my favorite regulars. Some of them will just hang out in the store quite frequently. They'll even help with small chores like cleaning up stray bits of trash if we get slammed with customers or making fresh pots of coffee if we get busy. They usually help make the SC-types feel unwelcome pretty quick. Some of the regulars actually become quite defensive even though we're pretty good at holding our own ground against suck jerks in my store. The manager even told me recently that a couple of the old men who hang out at our store were bragging on me for making them laugh at the way I handle some of the regular assholes when they start giving me attitude. If you work in a c-store type of environment, you probably know what kind of camraderie I'm talking about.

[Becks]

She walks over to me and says: 'I only said that because I knew you wanted to but couldn't.'

If I had the money I would have gladly bought that woman's groceries for her.

Oh, she rocks. Hardcore.

I wish she could clone herself and lend herself out to all stores.

If I had been in your shoes, I would've wanted to pay for her groceries, too.

[JustADude]

If you work in a c-store type of environment, you probably know what kind of camraderie I'm talking about.

I don't work in one, but I'm on a nickname basis with the guy who's always working at my regular stop for munchies, giant fountain drinks, and gas, and we shoot the breeze for a long time (I think the record is over 30min) when I stop by if neither of us has anything better to be doing.

[sms001]

If you work in a c-store type of environment, you probably know what kind of camraderie I'm talking about.

Too true, and god bless 'em. (As an added bonus, many of mine were retired Chicago cops - not the sort to take guff from anyone, but extra protective of the free coffee guy )

[XCashier]

him: (Verbatim) "I can't believe all those boxes fell over on you man. That is some funny f*in stuff!" *cue more laughing*

REALLY old woman who is the best EVER!: *pats him gingerly on the shoulder like you would do a special needs child who just made poopie in the potty* "That's called gravity dear."
...She walks over to me and says: 'I only said that because I knew you wanted to but couldn't.'

Go Granny!

If a bunch of boxes come tumbling down while someone is stocking them, I don't laugh at the employee, I grab the boxes and help restock them. I must be some sort of weirdo.

[cinema guy]

I remember when I worked in a supermarket as a teenager, my manager picked up a box of seed packets the wrong way up and all the packets fell out on the floow. I laughed.

She got her revenge a while later when I picked up a box of skipping ropes and the bottom fell out of the box. She laughed.