Neighbor's Kid, Round Two. (long, need some parenting wisdom)

[scary cary]

I was about to guess the same thing. Apples not falling far from the tree and all that

[Seraph]

Let me guess, her parents are worse than her.

From what I hear....they're not the nicest people. I've only encountered them once before, when Mab had lied and said that her mom invited my kids over. I went over to make sure, and Mab's mom was upset that I'd "assume something like this". I tried to explain what Mab had told me, but she just shut the door in my face.

So, yeah. Not gonna poke the bear. <.<

[lupo pazzesco]

So, yeah. Not gonna poke the bear. <.<

Or taunt the peacock...?

<.<

Could not resist, sorry...

[XCashier]

On a side note, mab showed up today, and I told her no playtime today. Didn't even get that out of my mouth before my oldest popped up and said "You're mean to frogs. Why are you being so mean?" Mab just kinda stuttered and walked away. My kids just kinda watched her leave and were like "ok, back to puzzles now!"

Kudos to your oldest! Like Pixilated pointed out, censure from parents and censure from peers are two different things, and peer censure is more likely to get through to Little Sociopath Mab.

Agreed 100% with the ban. Perhaps you could talk to other parents in the neighborhood, get their input? I think NK's parents might be good allies.

I wonder if talking to a police officer might be a good idea, as well. Mab's behavior needs to be kiboshed, and if her parents are rotten too, the police might have to step in there.

[Food Lady]

Seraph, you come from a Christian perspective. You understand that loving all people, regardless of behavior, is the foundation of those beliefs. It doesn't mean warm fuzzies; it means taking actions to do what may help them in the long run. People have called me out, and it sometimes hurt, but I am thankful they loved me enough to do it so I could change. I am so proud of your daughter for asking the pertinent question to call out the disturbing behavior. It needs to be done sometimes. It's not hate to do that; hate is the opposite of love, which is to not care at all. Your kids are following your example. You're right to keep Mab away (in order to protect your kids) and I see you've tried to speak with the parents because you care. But that isn't working. If Mab were just a kid being bratty, maybe trying later on to build a bridge with the parents would be good. But her behavior is disturbing and scary to me. It's not her fault, but she needs help. In this case, maybe the most loving--proactive thing--is calling CPS. Reporting this is love for any people Mab may hurt in future.

[Pixilated]

From what I hear....they're not the nicest people. I've only encountered them once before, when Mab had lied and said that her mom invited my kids over. I went over to make sure, and Mab's mom was upset that I'd "assume something like this". I tried to explain what Mab had told me, but she just shut the door in my face.

So, yeah. Not gonna poke the bear. <.<

Umm ... sounds like a good idea. Obviously Mab's Mummy does not wish to hear anything about her little darling that would suggest Mab is in any way flawed.

Hopefully Mab will continue to self-enforce the ban. If not ... you can always misquote The White Queen ("... playtime to-morrow and playtime yesterday – but never playtime to-day.")

[Draper Mel]

People like those parents always make me think of that XTC song, No Thugs In Our House. It's a charming story of oblivious parents who can't believe their own son has become a skinhead:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2C5k4GioJfY

[Food Lady]

Or taunt the peacock...?

<.<

Could not resist, sorry...

Oh, I just got this. Duh.

[Jester]

I think most of us have dealt with a Mab type in our childhood. They weren't very nice, were they? And most of the time, that type never did get nicer as they grew up, did they?

Is it Mab's fault? Is it her parents'?

Does it really matter?

Because your priority is your children, not Mab. And I think the best thing you can do is keep your children away from this little...unpleasant person. Sure, most of us have done stuff we weren't proud of when we were kids. But it sounds like she's probably doing them ALL, and that is not a good sign.

Myself, I don't have kids. But I know that if I did, and if some kid like Mab turned the hose on my kid, they would get exactly one warning. The second time they did it, I would turn the hose on them, and then send them packing, soaking wet. Perhaps it's better I don't have kids....I am sure that that response probably wouldn't win me many praises in the neighborhood.

Look, Mab is a lying, demanding, selfish, vicious, violent, cruel, and petty little girl. Do you really want your children hanging out with someone like that? I wouldn't.

I agree with the others that said you should probably have a sit down with Nice Kid's parents, because I would not be even slightly surprised if Mab is pulling this crap with Nice Kid as well.

Whatever comes of that meeting, though, I also agree with the other posters that you should keep your children as Mab-free as possible. They will only benefit from that.

[Seraph]

Or taunt the peacock...?

So CRUEEEEL~ /flails

In this case, maybe the most loving--proactive thing--is calling CPS. Reporting this is love for any people Mab may hurt in future.

I understand that, and thank you very, very much from the bottom of my heart for your advice, FL. Unfortunately, calling CPS would in all likelyhood, cause massive, massive problems for us. Small town, they'd find out who it was, no matter what amount of anonymity we asked for.

Look, Mab is a lying, demanding, selfish, vicious, violent, cruel, and petty little girl. Do you really want your children hanging out with someone like that? I wouldn't.

I agree with the others that said you should probably have a sit down with Nice Kid's parents, because I would not be even slightly surprised if Mab is pulling this crap with Nice Kid as well.

Whatever comes of that meeting, though, I also agree with the other posters that you should keep your children as Mab-free as possible. They will only benefit from that.

Thank you, Jester. And yeah, I really don't want them hanging around a kid like that. I doubt a sit down will happen though. All of what I'm hearing, and seeing, bodes that it would be a Bad Ending for us. ><

[Jester]

I agree with not calling CPS, because in addition to the potential repercussions for Seraph and her family, there is also the point that has not been made that, while Mab is basically being a little shit, and her parents are apparently taller shits, there is no evidence of abuse or neglect, only of bad parenting and being bad role models. In such situations, there is really nothing CPS can do.

I disagree with you, though, that it would be bad for you to sit down with NK's parents. I agree that sitting down with Mab's parents would be an exercise in futility, but I am willing to bet that NK's parents are just as familiar with Mab's bad behavior as you are. Just saying.

[Seraph]

Oh, NK's parents. Man, I totally misread that.

And in all honesty, NK's parents are mildly neglectful, they really don't care. We had one day where NK showed up on our doorstep, and told us her mom had just told her to "go wherever, and she'll be back after her big sister's cheerleading practice". I was like....what. Poor kid didn't know WHEN that would be.

[PepperElf]

although if you find more evidence of animal abuse you might want to reconsider calling CPS.

cos if her parents know she's abusing animals and not stopping her, that in itself can be a form of abuse as well. cos what happens if she starts... upgrading?

[Zellie Crescent]

I'll tell you what'll happen when she upgrades, they'll be telling a police officer: "She didn't know what she was doing, please you can't arrest my baby. She's innocent!"

[Pixilated]

although if you find more evidence of animal abuse you might want to reconsider calling CPS.

cos if her parents know she's abusing animals and not stopping her, that in itself can be a form of abuse as well. cos what happens if she starts... upgrading?

Her torture of animals is the one thing that would make me seriously consider calling CPS. Otherwise, Jester is right: it's basically a case of bad parenting and bad role models. Only her parents can fix that and they are obviously willfully oblivious.